The Grosvenor On George

I love it when somebody opens a review on a titty bar with ‘I don’t to titty bars but …’ because it always makes me wonder what makes this particular place an exception. To be honest with you, I’ve been to my fare share of titty bars (I was a teenager once) and these days they are pretty much all the same — topless women serving beer and whatnot, and a bunch of men talking to them. Sure, I could go into the psychology of why men hang out in titty bars, but I won’t because I’m sure we can find some PhD thesis somewhere on the internet. As for me, personally I find them boring. So, I guess the question is, why did I go into this one? Well, my hotel was across the road, it was open, and they served beer. Personally, this, as far as I am concerned, is your basic, everyday titty bar with two big exceptions — they have cheap meal, and they had a topless barber. They also have a gentleman’s club on the second floor (I guess the proper term is strip joint, though I can’t tell you anything about the place because I never went beyond the bar). There are certainly much better places to have a drink in Brisbane, unless of course you are looking for a titty bar (and since I have only been to Brisbane four times I can’t tell you where any others are) or if you are simply looking for a place to have a beer, but seriously, you can probably to better than this place.

I don’t usually do titty bars, but with a few hours to spare the night before a flight I thought burgers, brew, sports, and breasts might be a way to wrap up my visit to Brisbane. I had enough with 4 & 5 star eateries and business lunches, so a walk on the wild side I felt was appropriate. Besides, I’ve stayed at the Grosvenor in London — maybe a bit of the class rubbed off on the Brisbane’s namesake?
Alas, The food was meh, the beer was meh (no local brews!), the girls were nice, but in the end I felt sad for them, and they kept reminding me of my daughter. So maybe I am too old for this — my bad. Had the food and ambiance been a notch better, and the testosterone level just a notch turned down, it might have gotten 3 stars. Oh well, if its your thing you can start here for the basics, then go upstairs at 9 PM for more. As for me, it was back to my hotel room for much earned rest — without gratification in any form, and no diseases of any kind… It was about equal to the Golden Banana in Boston… or so I am told…

WOW This is a great titty bar!
I went twice during a recent visit to Brisbane. On a Friday and Saturday night.
Do you ever go into a strip club or titty bar and most the girls are hot, but one or two are dog ugly? Well not this place ! All the girls are just a different level of hotness. From Hot, hotter to Hottest!
It’s free entry and the drinks are reasonably priced also. We were getting jugs of James squire for $ 20.
If you like having a drink while looking at some hot girls, this is the place for you.

I’ve been wrestling for days about whether to write this review or simply leave it with the hope that it would go unnoticed in my check-​ins, and maybe one day it would somehow disappear into pandora’s box through some form of miracle!
I learned 2 things from my trip to the Grosvenor:
No. 1 — When you are in another city and your friend & his friends (after one too many drinks) who are permanent residents of that city tell you to trust them and that they’ll take you to a cool place so that you can check-​in on Unilocal — DON“T!
No.2 — Do not check-​in anywhere before you actually walk through the doors and that includes an absolute-​do-​not-​walk in with your head down flicking through Unilocal on your cell!
I did both of the above and, when I lifted my head up, a topless waitress (in all fairness, she was seriously hot!) greeted me and according to my friend & his friends, the look on my face was… Priceless!
The Grosvenor or Grosvenor on George is (as you must have figured by now) a topless bar. The place offers lunch and dinner and are open from 10am to late 6 days a week.
They also have a sports bar where you can chill with a beer while watching whatever’s on from the AFL or NRL.
To maintain the culture/​tradition and core attraction of any topless bar, table dances, pole dancing and shower shows are also available.
No matter how objective I tried to be about it, the devil from MARS residing deep in my soul got the better of me and I had to give the place 4 stars.

Busy but didnt enjoy it at all, cheap and nasty meal and bumping shoulders with all the drunks of brisbane was not my cup of tea, positive was there was some boobs

Welcome to the lowest common denominator: the revamped Grosvenor, which hides behind its frosted windows the sort of objectifying flesh-​trade, bawdy puns and cheap pub grub which has guaranteed its success, with everyone from the blue collar, the student and the corporate mouth-​breather finding plenty on offer. But hey, who am I to judge? And I suppose it offers much needed employment opportunities for scores of Brisbane young women looking to score a quick and (sl)eazy buck. More power to you girls, you really are cashing in on your ass-​ets (by which I mean your breasts).
Believe it or not, I actually discovered this place had become a topless bar by accident («Yeah right!» I hear you saying). You see it wasn’t always a topless bar, and when I needed to use the toilet one weekday around lunchtime when I was visiting the nearby Tribal Theatre I thought I’d slip into the Grosvenor to avail myself of the amenities. The sight that greeted me when I got inside was surreal. The entire bar, which runs along the length of the right hand wall, was attended by near nude girls pouring beers for a massive lunch-​time crowd. Topless waitresses circulated throughout with trays of drinks. I could only think that it seemed like a health hazard — you wouldn’t want to snag a stray nipple on a sharp edge, or risk breaking glass near such sensitive areas…
«Who are these people?» I asked myself of the weekday crowd. The unemployed? Office workers on a break? Whoever they are, there were a lot of them there at 1pm on a Tuesday. During my search for the facilities I noticed a full strippers’ pole and platform setup out back, so I suppose they offer more ‘services’ than just topless food and beverage service.
I’ve since checked out their Facebook page and noticed a post saying that they don’t yet have their full ‘Adult Entertainment Licence’, so apparently the displays they are putting on are in some way restrained. Despite that, they market performances by who are apparently some of the country’s more famous porn-​stars. They also do some innovative events, for example for last November’s Melbourne Cup they put on a special do where they got their topless staff to piggyback race each other for the crowd’s enjoyment. The tagline for the event was «The Whorsessss Are Off & Racing!!»… Classy stuff.

This is a topless bar but soooo much more than that. The food comes out and is MASSIVE! Seriously, this is the blokeyest bloke pub in Brisbane. Food is awesome and cheap, topless stunners, cheap beer, huge screens that are always showing what ever sport is on (always shows the UFC fights).
If you are on a stag do or just want to get away for a blokey meal, a few beers and watch the fights with some mates, this is the place… seriously…