Ted’s Collision

The good part is that you can bring your food in. The bad parts are: tables are shaky, makes a great prerequisite to spill your & your friends beers. In the winter the back door never closes so it’s the same as sitting outside temperature wise. The place is dark & dirty– this can be a great start to create an awesome cozy/​friendly atmosphere but it doesn’t.

Still like this place lots. The bartenders are friendly and it’s a good hangout.

Good little dive bar that my coworkers and I frequent after work occasionally. It is loud and noisy and sometimes hard to get a table, but the drinks come out fast and cold.

This is an authentic industrial dive bar with an unapologetic attitude. It provides a welcome alternative to the pretentiousness of some of the other places in Little Italy. This place is generally worth a stop for one pint while on the crawl. Not sure I would spend a whole evening here, but that just depends on the mood and who I am with…
A welcome alternative.

Dark, dank, and dirty. That’s what being a great dive bar is all about.
Friendly staff, 40s of Labatt 50, nice little back patio, broken pool table.
Met my girlfriend here too. ;)

Decided against eating here. I don’t care how big your cowboy hat is, if someone (A VERY HUNGRY SOMEONE WHO JUST SO HAPPENS TO POTENTIALLY BE A PAYING CUSTOMER!!!) politely (VERY NICELY, AND EVEN TOUCHING YOUR ARM A BIT AS A SIGN OF CAMARADERIE!!!) asks you why there is no salt and pepper on your table, you don’t laugh at them. This is not highschool and you are not some dirtbag janitor that goes around smoking hash-​oil behind the dumpsters and teasing all of the kids that fall off their skateboards and tossing dirty mop water on their shoes when you clearly saw that they were walking by and trying to talk to a girl. I know FOR A FACT that you are not a janitor because the washrooms are pee-​smelling and are not adequately stocked with tissues. Not exactly the sort of place for a satisfying cry-​break.
NOTE: Also no ketchup or vinegar (apple cider or white) to be seen.

I used to really like this place, then had a really awful night there, where I was told that I was «wasting the bartender’s time» as I was leaving for the night. This happened after a night of playing pool and a couple of beers (approx. 3), but by no means was I over my limit or even remotely drunk. This was just before closing, and I think they were just looking to leave early as we were the last 4 people in the bar at around 1:30am.
This was completely un-​called for, as all of us had been tipping with each drink, and were by no means causing any sort of disturbance throughout the night.
I have been told it was an isolated incident by others, and it was just the one guy, so I’ll give it another shot, but I remember the bartender being rude the previous time I was there. Perhaps I just keep going on the same night as this person happens to work.

The music is loud as hell, the beer is cheap and awesome, and once you’re a friend here you’re treated like damn royalty. Royalty of a third world country, but still.
Ted’s has a style all its own, as any good dive bar must to separate itself from just being dingy and dirty. Even I’m put off by the lack of a door on the men’s room, which has resulted in more than one woman I’m sure catching sight of my dangling majesty.
There is zero pretension and zero need for it. Just don’t be a dick and they won’t be either.

Although this place has kind of a romantic vibe, it seems to be overshadowed by the dinginess of the place itself.
Also, the bartender kept coming and taking away our glasses as soon as we were finished with them… Low on cups much?
But everything was reasonably priced and everyone I was with had a good time, so all around no complaints. Only went there for drinks late at night.
Would go again, but only with the right crowd of friends.

The Toronto Lover system:
5 stars = Must visit!
4 stars = Really good. I take my friends here.
3 stars = Somewhat worth it… if you have nowhere better to go.
2 stars = Below average. Attend only when necessary.
1 star = Do not visit!
Ted’s Collision
The more time I spend on Unilocal,the more I realize how much I like dive bars. There’s simply a comfort in dark, loud rooms that serve alcohol, where nobody really cares how much your watch and shoes are worth, and you don’t need to rehearse dance moves to pass the tests of the judging masses.
Collision is a bit of an odd spot on this stretch of College, but it serves a terrific purpose. Often packed at night, they crank up the rock music (real fist-​pumper rock music: Van Halen, AC/​DC, Led Zeppelin) while beer and shots are served up from the crowded bar. It does get loud in here, so don’t plan on any serious conversation.
Understanding that they actually prize the dank, I won’t criticize the smell, the disgusting washrooms, or the likelihood that their tables haven’t been wiped in ages, but it does mean anything above a 3 is out of the question.
3 stars

I almost ALWAYS knock something over at Ted’s (a candle, a lit candle, a beer, your beer, my beer, a chair etc…) and no one seems to care… 4 stars; I love this place (but it’s filthy so I can’t bring myself to give it 5 even though I want to).
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On the Spiderman Pinball Machine…
One time, Mike S and I made elaborate plans for an amazing trip to Little Italy. We planned to eat Wings at Duff’s, then go to Soundscapes then go to Ted’s and play pinball. We were so excited about pinball, we (and by «we» I probably mean «I») told the waitress about all of our plans and invited her. She seemed interested. We walked across the street to Ted’s while discussing the beer options and deciding to get Tankhouse; we were the only people in the building other than the guy who works there and he looked up and greeted us (angrily) with: «we’re out of Tankhouse and pinball is broken.» It was still a great night.
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On the beer prices…
Once they had Duggan’s no.9 on tap. It’s a much higher alcohol % than most draught beers and when you buy it in bottles it’s really expensive (by volume) because they’re small bottles. We got a pitcher and the bartender charged us $ 19 for it, then told us that it should be $ 21 and she wouldn’t charge us the difference this time. I was like, uhh, thanks, our transaction is already closed, but… Then we got pints of Duggans after we drank the pitcher. We drank too many Duggan’s. I think we ate wings at Duff’s that night too, and I might have lost my headphones. They were shure se210s — if you find them at Ted’s, PM me, I want them back. Anyways, beer isn’t really that cheap here — it’s $ 17 for a regular pitcher and $ 6 or $ 7 for a pint. It’s actually much too expensive for how shitty the place is. (I don’t really care though.)
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Would you ever eat food here?
Did you know they have/​serve food? It’s kind of random. Once, Adeel O. and I were here after work while he was trying to get away from his Mom who was visiting from Pakistan and I was having a beer before a date at Negroni. He wanted to eat so he asked Ted’s if they have food. The girl said yes but she wasn’t sure what they had because her co-​worker hadn’t gotten back from the grocery store with the evening’s offerings yet. She returned and made him an assorted sub on a hoagie.
You can bring in pizza and burritos from next door.
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On table service…
They sometimes/​usually have table service! Someone comes by and actually takes your order and brings you a beer! I love this aspect of Teds. I think they probably do this because a. they don’t have enough glasses and b. it moves WAY more beer.
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On the restrooms…
The restrooms here are disgusting, but they are not as bad as Toronado (
). The women’s room always has one stall out of order (occasionally the broken one rotates) and the men’s room reeks out into the hallway (oh and there is no door). I’m just kind of used to it and I don’t think the ladies room is as bad as the other reviews here lead you to believe. Or I have been desensitized because of recent trips to even divier beer bars. There is almost always soap and paper towels.
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There is a pool table here…
There is a pool table here that I love. You can only play it between 7 and 10 for the most part because the bar fills up between 10 and 11 pretty much every night. Playing pool is VERY frustrating because 2 of the 4 walls are too close to the table for you use the cue parallel to the table and the other two of four sides are too close to tables that have lit candles delicately balanced in empty wine bottles on them. I frequently knock over at least one lit candle during a game. Pool is $ 2 and there is no loonie machine, you have to get change from the bar but they’re always happy to hook you up. The pool table itself is in good condition and they have recently gotten new cues and replaced some of the balls.
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Overall, I love Ted’s…
— The bartender gave me 2 free beers on my birthday last week
— I once got into a conversation about First Nation’s resource rights (which made me late for the movie Gasland)
— I think pinball is fixed (but some of the lights still don’t light up on the front)

I’m so torn! Two stars or three? Two or three?
On Saturday nights my co-​workers and I finish work about 11:30 or so and always head out together after. So, a few Saturdays ago, my friend told me he was meeting an old friend of his at Ted’s Collision.
«Okay, where’s that?»
Everybody was shocked that not only had I never been to Ted’s, I’d never heard of it (especially as I lived on Palmerston for a year). They said it used to be the place to go a few years back, but had pretty much lots all of its charm and played annoying, really loud music. But as I wanted to go out for a few drinks, and my friend had already promised to go there, I followed them along through the snow storm to the bar on College.
By the time we got there, the three of us were soaked, but it put no damper on our moods. The bar was busy, but there was still room to move. First thing I noticed was the slightly campy, Rainforest Café-​like décor of the place, which may have been more charming to me in the darkness (and perhaps my inebriated state helped sway me in the bar’s favor); little lights blared, creating a Tiki Hut vibe (see previous reviews, I’m a sucker for little twinkling lights and «vibes» that aren’t your typical bar setting).
I didn’t mind the music! ACDC and certain ridiculous classic rock holds sentiment to me as I used to listen to that stuff years ago with my girlfriends’ in their basements. So I actually liked it, and was having a pretty good time.
Now, here’s where the bar’s reputation went bad: having no previous warning in regards to the washroom, I went down to use it. Here’s some advice:
DO NOT GO TO THIS BAR IF YOU HAVE A SMALL BLADDER AND/​OR ARE PRONE TO GOING TO THE BATHROOM A LOT WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK.
I have never in my life seen a washroom as foul as the ones at Ted’s. One of the girl’s stalls was completely unusable, and the door on the «acceptable» one didn’t lock properly. There was litter everywhere, and the floors were a disaster. Also, you can’t move in those washrooms, they’re so small. A peak into the guy’s washroom (which lacked a closed door???) gave way to what my friend had said was all over the urinals in there: PUKE EVERYWHERE.
Now, I’ve worked in the restaurant industry, I know when it gets crazy and you’ve got drunk twenty-​somethings traipsing through the place, it’s really hard to keep the place in tip-​top shape. BUT for the love of God, someone’s gotta do something about these washrooms!
My rye and gingers were really great though, and coupled with the music, made up (somewhat) for the disaster everyone was experiencing downstairs. But I’m still unsure if this place really garners that extra star.

Metal and rock music. Dark lighting. More dudes then chicks. YES! Definitely the dive-​iest place in Little Italy and a nice reprieve from the guido explosion that is known to happen in the area on the weekends. Go early cuz the place fills up pretty fast!

This place is the ugly duckling of the College Strip. It looks like the kind of place you could canoe right up to. It is dingy and awesome. The (too loud) music ranges from country to some hard core stuff that I don’t have a name for. The people that go here always seem pretty cool and easily approachable. I wouldn’t spend my whole night here but I’ll start or end my crawl drawing circles in the layers of wax on the tables.

The 3^rd stop on my birthday crawl. Okay. Here’s where things get fuzzy. Can I still review? I’ll try.
Neat grungy place! Lots of candle wax! Good music! A pinball machine! Cran vodka!
Um… that’s all I got.

I’ve discovered the secret to Ted’s: come before 11 if you’re meeting friends for conversation! 11pm and onwards are the witching hours, when the volume gets cranked and unpopular music starts playing. Tonight (pre-​11pm) we got to listen to The Strokes’ «First Impressions Of Earth»! (What a great album. The Strokes need to release another album, like, stat. 4 years!)
Our taller, friendlier George Stroumboulopoulous-​lookalike server tonight was great and kept the drinks coming.
As Martin S. stated, this place is «dingy to the point of looking like it is one step from condemnation and dark as fuck» — but if you want no nonsense cheap drinks, Spider-​Man pinball and to avoid the recent surge of douchiness on College Street, Ted’s your man!
NOTE: Avoid the washrooms — no bladder pressure is that urgent.

Just an average stop on College Street, with better-​than-​average beers on tap at this 14^th stop on the epic birthday bender.
On entry, we immediately noticed a bar made out of poured concrete in such a way as to look like a giant slab of rough-​quarried stone. Nice idea, but I was careful not to trip and plow into it, for sure. Seating is exactly what you’d expect at Ted’s Collision if it were a real body shop; beat up old barstools that barely balanced on their three good legs and a shaky fourth. Less likely in a body shop were the candles stuffed into wine bottles (and empty wine bottles covered in wax) that littered the room. Interesting.
Music was the next thing we noticed. It appeared that we were listening to a playlist in alphabetical order of artists’ first names. Among other things, we heard David Bowie, Depeche Mode and Dire Straits. While this was amusing at first, it got repetitive as we heard a few tracks from each artist and the trend was getting predictable. It would have been nice to have the rest of the alphabet represented too.
The last thing I noticed, regrettably, was the washroom. I only wish this was forgettable, and caution the more germophobic reader to hold it until you reach the next stop. They were small, ratty and filthy; exactly what you’d find in a body shop, I suppose, but in this Unilocaler’s humble opinion the loo is not the place to implement your body-​shop shtick.

Having just received my weekly Unilocal email regarding dive bars, I can’t believe that no one mentioned my favorite dive of all time here in Toronto, Ted’s Collision!
I live in Little Italy, and I’m somewhat jaded and bitter because of the influx of limos, bachelorette parties, and martini bars in the past few years. One constant however is Ted’s. Located at College and Clinton, it distinguishes itself from the rest by blasting anything from heavy metal to Johnny Cash, and keeping a rather… dingy atmosphere. Tables are wax covered from the old whisky bottles with burning candles inside, the floors look like they haven’t been cleaned in 15 years, and old benches line the walls for seating (that and classic grade six classroom style chairs).
Another thing that makes Ted’s great is the fact that they may serve food, but no one is sure. I’ve seen people eating in Ted’s, but there’s no evidence of a kitchen or menus. Then one day last summer a pizza oven appeared behind the bar! I saw the oven in use a few more times, but now it seems to have mysteriously disappeared.
Ted’s is truly a great dive bar, be sure to stop by for pints.

While I fully understand the reviews below, I would like to post a dissenting vote here.
Yes, Ted’s can be loud, yes, it is dingy to the point of looking like it is one step from condemnation, and yes, it is dark as fuck.
However: if you live on college, or are stuck there for any reason, where else are you going to go? Souz Dal is the only other even passable bar for blocks unless you love being surrounded by shiny dress shirts, Gucci knockoffs and overpriced drinks. Although, to be fair, the shiny dress shirt crowd, despite radically different sartorial ideals, often provides some of the best nights at Teds, the intersection of subcultures often resulting in awesome conversations/​hookups. (for more of this see: clubbers showing up at the Dakota for country nights)
In short: If you like your bars bar-​like, go to teds. If you like your bars club-​like, go anywhere else.

Ted’s used to be a great stop along a night of bar hopping in the city. Yes, it’s a dive, but it’s been the setting for many a romantic rendezvous. I fear those days are over.
It’s still a dark and dingy place, with wax tapers shoved into the mouths of a collection of empty liquor bottles, their shoulders encased in the streaming wax of those tapers of yore. Burning bright and scattered around the place, their lonely flames are usually all you see through the windows from the street, hinting at the depths beyond.
I have such fond memories with the best of friends there. And there was always good music. A great selection of 90s and 80s rock tracks that you can reminisce over, and when drunk enough, sing along and rock out to. However, where this was a redeeming quality in the past, it has now become the slow death of the establishment, and only because it’s blasted at an insane volume. I grew up in front of Marshall stacks, and even I can’t handle it any more.
The crowds I remember in past years seem to have dwindled. Since I find myself in the neighbourhood nearly every weekend now, and I don’t usually enjoy the high-​priced pretentiousness of Little Italy, I’ve ventured over to Ted’s at least 5 times in the last few months. A couple of times, I had to wait over 5 minutes, standing at the bar, with a 20 in hand, to get served. One time, I actually gave up and walked out. And forget about reminiscing about anything. You can’t hear a thing. If you’re working the bar, it sounds somewhat reasonable, but if you’re in any of the seating areas (back or front), with the speakers overhead, you’re just asking for tinnitus. And forget about asking the bar staff to turn it down. They just blast the next song even louder to spite you.
After several failed attempts to talk to our friends over the music, we sat there defeated in a pathetic conversation-​less state, chained only by the fact that our pints were still too full to walk away from. I think the point was driven home when our server walked over and told us it was last call, and asked if we wanted anything else. The response was given a mere 6 inches from the servers ear, and yet she never heard it: «Drop dead.» Thankfully.
If you’re playing Enter Sandman, and it’s so loud that your speakers aren’t able to handle it, and distorting all the beautiful notes and vocals, it’s too f-​ing loud.