Supercuts

I’ll preface this by saying that this was the worst haircutting experience of my life, including the times I’ve cut my own hair and the time my hair was cut by my little sister as I slept.
My first hint should have been when the stylist asked me if I was new in town or just visiting as she had never heard of my surname before. My family (and an unrelated family that shares our surname) have been in this little town for at least a hundred years, and right down the street is an old, prestigious business that has said surname pasted all over its storefront and on their giant new LED sign by the roadside. At first, chalked this question up to the stylist trying to make conversation or perhaps being new in town herself, but by the end of my experience, I would decide that the question was sparked not by a desire to make small-​talk but rather because the stylist had never paid enough attention to notice the name in all of her time here.
The haircut began fairly normal: I sat down, got my paper priest collar and my cape, and the stylist asked «What are we going to get done today?»
Now, I’ve had my hair cut the same way for the past year and a half and I thought that I had discovered the most concise way to accurately explain what I wanted done. I told the stylist I wanted her to trim the sides with a #1, round the back as normal, and leave the crown of my head to the base of my skull alone. At this point, I used my hand to trace out exactly where the base of my skull was and said, «Basically, I don’t want it trimmed above this line».
She was silent for a while and then said, «So you want a fade?»
I said, «No, I don’t want a fade,» and explained again what I wanted and again traced the back of my head to show where I wanted the short trim to end.
She was silent for a bit more before asking: «So you want a low fade?»
I said, «I don’t know what a ‘low fade’ is, so probably not.» I then told her to just trim the sides to a #1, and round the back.
She told me «I don’t think you want a #1,» (though I knew that I did), «this must be your first time here,» (it was not my first time at a Super Cuts), «our blade numbers are different from other places, so I’m going to start with a #3.»
She then took that #3 blade and shaved a strip from the base of my neck in the back to the top of my skull, completely ignoring what I had said and where I had pointed. I knew that there was no sense in stopping her because she 1) obviously didn’t care how I wanted my haircut, and 2) she couldn’t put hair back anyway. I allowed her to finish with the #3 blade. She then turned me toward the mirror and asked «How’s that?»
I told her that it was too long on the sides. She said «okay, let me use the #2».

She then went back over what she had already cut with the #2. She asked me again how it was and I told her it looked better. She asked if I wanted to see the back and I said, «Yes, please.»
When I got the mirror, I realized that not only had she not followed my instructions, she also didn’t even fade it like she mentioned she might. She had given me a bowl cut. I looked like a cross between a mushroom and Moe from the Three Stooges.
I told her I didn’t like it at all. She said «I think it looks good.» I said «I don’t. Could you please just trim my hair down on the back and sides so it doesn’t look like a bowl cut?» She sighed and said «Okay, fine,» and did so.
I told her «Also, can you now trim the top so that it’s a bit more even since all the back is shaved off?» She said «How much did you want off?» I said «Just an inch or so». Cue her removing about four inches of hair.
She asked if I wanted my beard blended in to my new short hairline. I said «Yes, just fade the sideburns into the #2 on the sides». Instead of doing that, she took a #2 blade and started to crop my entire beard down to a #2. She asked if I wanted her to trim my mustache and «goatee». I said no. She did one half anyway and said something like «Well, it looks better this way.» When she was done, she asked if I wanted a neck shave, but I decided that she had done enough damage and told her that I was fine, paid and left.
To make a long story short: I walked in with a long haircut that I had been cultivating for over a year, gave the same directions I had given every other time I had received a haircut for a year and a half, and walked out with a stupid-​looking version of a high-​and-​tight that I had to pay $ 15 for. What’s the point of a stylist asking what you want done to your hair if they’re not going to listen to you? What’s the point of paying for the same haircut I could have given myself with a set of horse clippers and a cereal bowl? I don’t think a human being alive or dead could pay me enough money to go back to this location for a haircut. With the sheer amount of stylists and barbershops in Alice, you have a much better chance of a good experience somewhere else.