Campustown

Campustown — live like a champion…
If by champion they mean «if rather live like a loser living in my moms basement sucking my thumb in the fetal position» because this could not be farther from the truth. Picture this, you’re traveling to college for the first time, excited for the independence from your parents. Finally you can get rid of those annoying nagging parents who overly love you and support you. You arrive to campus town apartments and are dropped off. The immediate thought that goes through your mind is «oh my god eff me I wanna go home» but you can’t. Welcome to your vomit filled cold loud empty apartment that you now have to call home.
The rates are outrageous. It’s $ 554 for a person… Why $ 554? That’s such a dumb number! Might as well round up to $ 555 to make it easier to remember since you’re fucking my wallet without consent as it is. You get to enjoy the luxuries of the resort. What is the resort you ask? Let me fill you in. Drunk loud college students bathing in a hot tub filled with dead skin cells. They never clean it and it’s disgusting but hey, that’s what it takes to live like a champion. Fun parties though, good times good times. I’ve seen many people punch holes in the walls, and every weekend is a s*** show. Have fun sucka you’re under contract for the next year HA HA HA you’re gonna regret it.