Arms by Cavs

I was very excited when I first heard about «Arms by Cavs.» As everybody knows, there’s nothing that the ladies love more than being enveloped by a huge set of burly, veiny biceps. Unfortunately after seeing limited results after two months of non-​stop shake-​weighting, Cavs took me into his secret basement lab and tried to sell me his «double-​secret» protein powder. After a quick blend and just one sip, my biceps immediately jumped from 11 to 26 inches in diameter in seconds! I was super-​stoked until I read the ingredient label which included HGH, Deer Antler, Deer Balls, Nandrolone, Urine-​isolate of Mark Zammuto, Dehydrated testicle of Lance Armstrong, and Humpback Whale Dick. I had no real issues with these ingredients, but I did not enjoy the fact that I can no longer find any trace of my reproductive organs. Yes. Cavs will get you huge, but use with caution.

It was speedo season and I had gotten woefully out of shape. It was all I can do to muster the strength from my grandma arms to carry the soaking Shamwow that I used to wipe the flop sweat from under my man fupa. Luckily, I discovered Arms by Cavs. Dr. Caverly started me out slowly… a couple of curls, a couple of squats, etc. By the end of the first week, I was going bare-​handed big game hunting and growing three beards a day. One star off because I wasn’t offered the double secret protein drink that was mentioned by another reviewer.