Apalachin Elementary School

I went to Kindergarten here a long time ago.
I don’t remember a whole lot.
Here are the highlights:
–Every time there was a birthday in the class I remember eating cupcakes. I specifically remember eating an under-​cooked funfetti cupcake that I still crave to this day (I’m 25)
–This place had like 3 playgrounds. For serious. Not the overly padded, timid ass playgrounds kids have today. These were made of splintery wood, had about a centimeter of hard gravel as «safety surfacing», ginormous metal slides, a million hiding places that «paraprofessionals» could not find you and it was ideal for getting chased by girls, letting them catch you, begging them not to kiss you, and then loving getting kissed by them.
–Ms. Guilfoil grabbed me by my ear when I made a farting noise in line for recess, made me sit in her smelly, hot classroom while I was already bundled up head to toe in my snowsuit. After 15 minutes she let me free and I went around the rest of the day feeling ashamed, like a convict. Looking back on it, you, Ms. Guilfoil have mud for a soul. Kids will be kids.
–During free time I used to take a bucket of shapes and make them into identical designs. My teacher Mrs. Wheatley told me I was very «symmetrical». A source of pride to this day.
The next year I ended up in Catholic school.