Camron’s Place an All-American Bistro

Fine, so I don’t know Camron, though I would have met him at the last Elite event had I not been working, but I thought I’d address some of the trash talking I’ve heard on the street regarding his exciting new venture.
Yes, the options are finite, but it’s not like you need «options» anyway. In fact, in his 2004 book– The Paradox of Choice– Barry Schwartz argues that eliminating consumer choices can greatly reduce anxiety for shoppers (last sentence lifted vereffinbatim from Wikipedia). That is, the paucity of choices might help all of our over-​medicated brains to relax. Moreover, I’ve never met a person who doesn’t like a grilled cheese sandwich, bag-​o-​salad, spaghetti, or turkey sandwich, except for those comprising what a saner generation termed the Bolsheviks.
And you can see where Communism got those guys. Russia now has a negative population growth rate (which admittedly begs the question, is it still a growth rate if it’s negative?), a disparity in the concentration of wealth unrivaled outside of former African colonies, and a government-​mandated price floor (!) on vodka.
That is, to support Camron’s Place is to support what Sarah Palin describes for all of us, America: «We believe that the best of America is not all in Washington, D.C. …We believe that the best of America is in these small towns that we get to visit, and in these wonderful little pockets of what I call the real America, being here with all of you hard working very patriotic, um, very, um, pro-​America areas of this great nation.»
Austin remains a small town with hard-​working, patriotic, pro-​American folk who recognize the inherent value of grilled cheeses. And those people won’t let the terrorists (or Communists) win.

Wow, we all know this will be a great place to eat, drink, and hang out, because after all, it’s got the two key success factors: It’s got the Camron trademark and, what’s better, it’s All American!
With Camron’s prior culinary experience and success in the lemonade stand biz, the excrement over this new concept is building to a crescendo. I mean, since I woke up, I can’t sleep any more. It’s just that excreting! The buzz is deafening (oh, wait, I left my electric razor on).
I’m really hoping Camron gets the venture capital he needs from a group of investors so he can land a prime location in the D’ohmain and give that Uranus Grilled place a run for their money. As for the menu, well it’s obvious he doesn’t have one yet, but I hear it’s going to be heavily influenced by lemons and soy. Oh yeah, and live music (we all know who the house band will be)! Yes, that’s All-​American, and – better yet – it’s Bistro!
I’m really want to get hired on nights and weekends for minimum wage just to have the pleasure of working with a master chef at a five-​star restaurant with a long pedigree. I’m sure I’ll have a good chance of getting hired, because I have no prior experience. I hear that one thing restaurateurs like to see in a prospective employee is a lack of experience, so they know they’re working with a clean slate.
High fives all around, Camron! We’re all pulling for ya. Keep building that excrement!
(P.S. When you post your review, be sure to click on the «Good for Kids» radio button. Camron really needs the lemonade money.)

Being recently unemployed, I decided to start my own business venture and create a restaurant. I have never opened a restaurant before, and I can only make grilled cheeses, bag-​o-​salads, turkey sandwiches and spaghetti, but I’m pretty sure it’ll be the best damn restaurant ever created.
Ok, seriously, this restaurant is only an idea in my head. We’re not even open yet, Hell, I don’t even have any funding or a location, but by golly, I quit my job as a successful software developer, just so I could wash dishes for the rest of my life.
I’m so enthusiastic about my new restaurant. It’s going to be crazy awesome. I just know it because when you’re working with the caliber of person like myself, you cannot go wrong. If this venture is half as good as the lemonade stand business I created when I was 6-​years-​old, I’m destined to make about $ 3 (or $ 1.50 after overhead). And then my only customers were my parents’ friends. Just imagine how well I could have done in a more open market and had I sold Crystal Lite instead of Kool-​Aid.
Enough about me, this review is about my restaurant. Like I said, it’s not open yet, but it will be. So mark your calendars with this date: the future.