Midtowne Spa

Visited for the first time today for a facial. It was amazing. I had the best scalp massage I have ever had. Sara was great. She is also very good at threading. I will be returning.

If you’re looking for top dollar rental prices during non peak times, no glory holes, no coffee, no donuts and fat gross patrons then this place is for you. Unlike the other midtowne spas, this had no amenities except a zillion unoccupied rooms and a bizarre sex play area that wasn’t used but the sauna was the preferred locale for octogenarian sex. Not to mention it’s no where near downtown. You’ll probably have better luck at a Leather bar and at least you can drink for less. They don’t honor memberships from other Midtowne spas either. Only two showers for a three level spa! The hottub is uncovered so on a busy rainy day it’s useless. At least it’s clean.

I have nothing good to say so I won’t say anything

There’s nothing sexier than cruising for ugly gay dudes in a place that’s most like a laser tag arena. Sure there could be a pretty hot guy here and there, but don’t get your hopes up. It is what it is. If this is your idea of an avenue to get laid for lack of better options, I say go for it. At least there’s no mind games: everyone’s there to f**k. I mean, it’s not a bad place, but it’s just not my cup of tea. I say everyone should try it out once just for the experience.
Wear shoes at all times.

The crowd can be iffy. I like to go in the daytime as its better for me. Sometimes its all twink and a few daddies, other times its almost all daddies and one or two twinks. The 3^rd floor has rooms, a wet and a dry sauna. The ground floor has lockers, a tv room, wieghts, the patio/​hot tub area and snack area. The basement has more rooms, and a play room with a sling. The is notr a place for the delicate dainty prudes. You’re gonna see stuff straight out of 80s porn videos (not a bad thing). The music choice seems picked out by the twinks and can be a bit loud at times.

It’s funny how the first reviewer forgot to mention anything about sex at Midtowne Spa. The «I don’t know how I ended up there» or «I usaully get in for free» comments should tell you all you need to know about him but not Midtowne Spa. It’s a sex club and that’s why people go there. Not to sit outside around the hot tub and smoke.

Really?
Nobody?
Nobody’s going to review this place?
Ugh, FINE. *I’ll* do it. Because hey – it’s what I do. And it’s who I am: an adventurous, hard-​partying, up-​for-​anything Austin Unilocaler. And I have absolutely zero shame.
First of all – this is a gay after hours spot, and not technically a «gay bar». There’s no sign out front, so make sure you know where you’re headed, boys, if it’s your first time out there. I’m sure the regulars can probably find this place in their sleep.
I first heard of Midtown Spa because they oftentimes send friendly employees out to go visit the gay bars and pass out promotional flyers. They also leave out really big jars of Midtown Spa-​brand condoms on the bar which I use to fling at bitchy bartenders or the unruly friend across the bar who’s annoying me. If you’re lucky, you may be able to catch them handing out ½ off coupons for rooms and/​or lockers. I’ve been lucky enough to get a free room or two, since I’m always a magnet for swag and comps from a variety of establishments… and I know a guy who works there.
When you do go, you pay the guy behind the glass for whatever it is you want. Don’t ask me prices – like I said, I usually got in for free. I think it’s like $ 15-​$ 25 for a locker or private room… or something like that. You can look it up online or, chances are when you’re there, you won’t give a crap. Once they buzz you in, you get your key and towel. The staff has been hit or miss; sometimes there are welcoming guys working the desk, and other times they come across as exhausted, bored, and totally «over it.»
Lord, how do I go on tactfully? Skin to the wind, wrap your towel, and start walking around. They have workout equipment for you to use, har har. They have an outdoor pool surrounded by chaise lounges, and you can smoke outside. Well, I don’t know if you can officially smoke, but I sure did. Of course, there’s a hot tub. Most of the people are friendly. Read Wikipedia if you want a more complete list of spa etiquette. Etiquette *I* never knew. Like I would listen anyway.
It’s not an everyday venue for me, and believe me, there was a reason (a guy…) to explain why I was there. You won’t ever find me just meandering around in the hallways or anything.
Long story short – if you want a place to hang with your friends after the bars, Midtown Spa is always an option. Additionally, I think they put on events like «foam parties” – with hot underwear models and porn stars strutting around – every now and then. If that floats your boat, check it out.
Yes, I just reviewed Austin’s gay bathhouse.
You’re welcome.