Speedy Stop

«Cheetos?» — kk
«They are everywhere…» — guy behind counter
I had a little «run-​in» with the Travis County Sheriff’s deputies about a month ago while i was on a highly secret Unilocal reconnaissance mission that went astray. The review has gotten lost in red tape and, hopefully, will be released for my hundredth after it is reviewed by my lawyers, or maybe never written if «they» show up on my door step again and freak My Sweetie out by playing a game of a hundred questions with her about my whereabouts.
So, that explains what I didn’t say next, and believe me, life is made up of the things that I didn’t say… «Officers, all three of you,» while pointing a long finger at each of them and tapping their Disney epaulets, «I will put MONEY on the table that none of you, not one of you, would leave your car running outside as you stand here shooting the shit while drinking your extra large coffees, not one of you, would waste gas and money in such a blatant power-​ass display if YOU, and NOT the fine people of Travis County, were paying for the gas.»
I am just an angry, orange-​fingered, middle-​aged, hormone-​raging, suppressed tree-​hugger who was once falsely accused by these wasteful donut-​eaters.