Bernards High School

Macho’s food is unsatisfactory, mediocre, bitter, distasteful, uninteresting, unsatisfying, lame, inadequate, depressing, bleak, debilitating, dreary, hopeless, mournful, melancholy, horrid, ghastly, in the pits, miserable, murky, sad, dismal, and atrocious. The pizza is impregnated with enough oil to fill up Simon Cowell’s ego, and so little cheese that I wouldn’t be able to feed a strand of Ebola with it. The hot dogs are so horribly made that when I dropped one on the ground, it bounced. The chicken patty seems to be made of distilled lead infused with mercury, and has the texture of something between the spine of a sperm whale and the belly of a Toyota Prius. The cheese tastes like it came out of the back of an elephant, and the salad has the integrity and dexterity of Alex Rishty’s relationship infused with the happiness and joy of the «Paris Events». Expect higher quality.