Royalview Deli & Beverage

If one sees a sign indicating that an established place of business is a deli & beverage, one, it seems ought to be able to enter the premises and procure fresh deli meats, fine cheeses and either beer or wine as befits the occasion.
I entered Royalview Deli & Beverage and queried the manager on hand if he had any lean cured Wiltshire ham or a gammon steak perchance? No, they had ham. Just ham, I asked. Just ham. The gentleman, I might add, at no point referred to me as sir. The correct response would have been to say that this establishment had no gammon steak, sir. A quibble, perhaps, but worth noting just the same.
I asked if he had a smallish wheel of fine Stilton cheese. No Stilton. As you’d guess, no Maytag or any of the inferior blue cheeses either. No, I fumed, I do not want Swiss and yes, I am aware it has holes.
The wine selection was exquisite and I quelled my hunger with a tawny port poured into a styrofoam cup I had found in the parking lot. It had lipstick on it and I dreamt of the fair lass who had used it before me. Indeed, each sip became a kiss to remember and the alcohol likely served to sanitize the gritty love cup that became my treasure.