Ultimate Pizza

Ultimate Pizza?
As I walked to the front door, I mused in what way their pizza was, «Ultimate.» Would it be the best, «New York Style Thin Crust Pizza,» or the worst?
At 1:30 in the afternoon, the place was empty except for a pair of young guys working over some hoagies. That surprised me, and should have alerted me to what was to come.
Their pizza special of 2 slices and a soft drink for $ 4. sounded good, and I went for it.
The slices were delivered several minutes later on a single ply paper plate. The slices hung over the edge so when the plate was put on the table, the pizza was under it touching the table. Picking it up to correct this, I detected a small pool of oil collecting there. I picked up one slice to alleviate the hangover, but had to hold the folded slice over the plate to allow the oil to continue to drip from the pizza. Okay. I didn’t mind, because I had yet to taste anything.
First bite/​first impression — Definitely thin crust, but lacking any body to hold the tip of the slice firmly to get it in the mouth. It folded like a dog’s ear. The taste was weak as the tomato sauce was nondescript, and the cheese tasteless. Oh, what a disappointment.
I left the takeout menu on the table knowing I would not return. I speculated whether anyone had ever even gone to the City and tried New York pizza, and wondered how they had the «chutzpah» to suggest there was any relationship between the two. The reference only forced attention on the fatal shortcomings of their primary product.
Sorry, fellas. Ultimate only in a bad way.
Ultimate or Old Tomato? (Thank you, Marx Bros.)