Burbank On Parade

I love Burbank and the fact that my fair city puts on an annual parade to celebrate community, inspire a sense of community or just show other communities that we have more bank than them and rub their faces in that shit makes me proud to be an upstanding mothereffing citizen.
Today wifey and rolled up to our spot at a local strip mall parking lot, lifted the gate on my gas guzzling, eco-​destroying SUV and watched the parade close up and personal.
This years theme was the Wild West or something like that.
Here’s what we saw: Dudes dressed as gunfighters blasting away with some heavy duty blanks. One guy was carrying a shotgun that sounded like a cannon everytime he shot it off. I almost felt like I was caught in a fucking drive-​by.
Next up was the Grand Marshall, who this year turned out to be Gerald McRaney, he was a guest star on Gunsmoke 1 time and I suppose that made him «western» enough for the theme, but who cares, I liked Simon and Simon and Major Dad so that was pretty cool.
Then the politicians started rolling by, waving and doing their usual schtick… yeah yeah glad we came out too, nice to see you too, now keep it moving and make room for things we actually care about. Horses were next, nice well-​mannered horses, that love to take huge dumps in the middle of the street, I wish I could do that without people calling the cops or laughing and pointing, but that’ll never happen. Righteous bastards.
Burbank P.D. unveiled some small, weird looking moped, electric motorcycle thing that looked like some dude built in his garage and sounded like a fucking blender. Come on guys you’re cops not mall security. I love you guys so don’t profile stop my ass.
Burbank Fire Dept. rolled up with a big ass hook and ladder, damn those guys are skilled as shit driving that thing. Made a tight turn in the middle of the street and even stopped for this cute little kid dressed in a firefighter outfit. Good job guys.
Our city’s great day program for kids and adults with special needs, BCR, also paticipated in the parade. Love those folks because they have helped mold my autistic kid into a great guy. Some old Burbank and Burroughs alumni that looked as if they’d served in World War 1, but played their old band instruments to perfection, a truckload of girls (seriously, a full on huge flatbed truck) dressed in Ballet Folklorico outfits that made an overcast dreary day a whole lot brighter.
All in all great way to kill a few hours and relax. Good job Burbank looking forward to next year!