Fishing The Gorge

Read others comments around the web and don’t make the mistake we did. We didn’t pay attention to negative reviews and suffered a miserable trip.
We bought a ½ off package on eBay, and booked our date with little problem. Communication was a bit slow at times, but we thought we got the information we needed.
We arrived at the Fishery on our departure date at 6:30AM, and our first surprise came when we had to pay $ 5 cash to park. We were told nothing of this, and others were evidently surprised about this also — asking us if we had change. «Captain Kyle» Battisti was on the ramp and acknowledged us without introducing himself or even asking who we were. My wife and I, our 2 teenage girls and two other unsuspecting souls loaded on his small boat. He didn’t give any boat safety talk, or even where the life jackets/​throw rings were or anything (especially important with kids on board), but quickly motored us right across the river from the launch, not more than a 30 second boat ride and anchored near the opposite bank. Kyle silently baited and tossed 6 lines in the water and sat in his chair with his back to us, chain smoking 2 packs of cigarettes, all the while talking about various subjects, politics, sports, dumb clients from previous trips (including putting down/​threatening to tell on his Cabelas clients)… and even breast feeding (discussed in front of a couple teen girls). BUT his most animated subject was about the Russians/​Chinese damaging the fishing on the Columbia by illegal catching, harvesting, and trafficking. During his long winded, mind numbing rant, I thought maybe he didn’t like those nationals, but after reading others comments online, I realized he doesn’t like anyone. not even those paying him to talk (notice I didn’t say fish). He asked one guy to help reel in lines to re-​bait, but other than that, he explained nothing unless we pointedly asked questions (and continue on his rants), didn’t offer anyone else even a touch to a rod, sit in the backseat, or engage the girls to explain fishing at all.
After about 4 hours of no hits, we suggested he take us to another location, anywhere! He declined, saying we would miss a bite if we didn’t stay in one place. It was asked as to why he runs the eBay trips at half price and he came right out, admitting he does so to put people in the boat while waiting for the fishing to pick up.
We spent quite a chunk of money to take our family on vacation and looked forward to going salmon fishing. We certainly were not naïve thinking that he could magically produce fish, but we were misled that the salmon were biting, that he was a good guide, and of his fishing tactics. We own boats and have been on many fishless trips, and they can still be fun.
After 6 hours of torture just a couple hundred yards from the dock, we were allowed to return and he promptly jumped off the boat calling over his shoulder to «get off through the bow». He didn’t wait to help anyone off his boat. We unloaded our gear and while making way to our cars he hurried by us with his boat on the trailer, and only then decided to schmooze for more business for a few minutes before tearing out of there.
Kyle’s cost: 6 hours, $ 1 of gas, and a can of cheap tuna fish.
We have been on several ocean fishing charters, and this by far was the most unprofessional, un-​personable, careless, faux fishing guide that we have ever paid.