Really Terrible Orchestra Of the Triangle

The Really Terrible Orchestra of the Triangle (RTOOT) occupied the Chapel Hill Bible Church on Saturday, December 10^th to bring awareness of their «Revenge of the Sugar Plum Fairy» show to Chapel Hill. Their radical notion of time, meter, and tuning, not to mention their elastic approach to musical phrasing, raised eyebrows among the crowd of musical enthusiasts. The conductor who goes under the nome de guerre, My Strow Hobgood assembled his collective of occupiers from throughout the Triangle area.
RTOOT’s initial musical salvo was a manfiesto of Leroy Anderson Favorites, «Blue Tango,» «Belle of the Ball,» «The Syncopated Clock,» and Serenata” that left the audience stunned by its use of enhanced syncopation. While the audience was still reeling, RTOOT lit into Johann and Josef Strauss’ Pizzicato Polka. It’s unclear of the piece was a joint composition of if each man blamed the other brother for it. RTOOT’s last number in their first set as the Prelude to Act 1 of Hansel and Gretel interpreted through the eyes of political correctness.
After intermission, RTOOT assaulted the holidays with a medley of excerpts from The Nutcracker, including the RTOOT dancers whose movements appeared more like a brewing riot than a dance troupe. That was followed by a subversive interpretation of three parts of Handel’s Messiah. Finally RTOOT engaged and confronted the audience in a series of holiday carols in which the audience singalong sounded like bullhorns directing RTOOT to stand down.
The Chapel Hill Police Department was unavailable for comment. No one was arrested.

This is the middle school concert for the rest of us.
Grade schoolers are just so cute, you can’t help but root for them even if they’re awful musicians. High schoolers might actually be showing signs of talent, so you can usually get through those concerts OK, too. But ah, middle school concerts. The perfect blend of ineptitude, rebellion, hormones, and awkwardness to really set your teeth on edge. RTOOT makes this particular experience available to everyone, no school involvement needed.
DH and I attended the RTOOT holiday concert, «Revenge of the Sugar Plum Fairy,» at Chapel Hill Bible Church on a Sunday afternoon. Earplugs were handed out at the door, and cellphones/​pagers were encouraged to remain on, so as to compete with the cacophony onstage.
The program was a mix of modern songs, a few classical selections, and selected holiday singalong songs, including a rousing rendition of «Hava Nagila.» Bonus points for the ecumenical dysphonia. Florence Peacock and Philip van Lidth de Jeude lent their considerably greater talents to leading the singalongs, bless them. They must have been heavily medicated.
The all-​volunteer «musicians» played, bleated, dinged, and plucked their way gamely through the program. The colorful hats that some of them wore were a welcome distraction from the sonic pollution. And My Strow Hobgood led them splendidly, doubling as a «player» for one of the pieces. The Nutcracker excerpts were particularly painful – even the neighborhood cats in heat stopped what they were doing to don protective earwear.
I highly encourage you to check out the next RTOOT concert, and make sure to wear sneakers in case you need to make a quick getaway from the noise.