Crabbby Kim’s

Much like the seasoning of aged skin, time hasn’t been too good, to Crabbby Kim. A few updates. They updated their bar! A nicer look but still an odd experience. However, they didn’t update their washrooms? Still cesspools of hate, angst and the possibility of a «jail-​house-​butt-​raping.» The square footage in those tiny washrooms; if one were to get stuck in there… it’d be psychological I tell ya.
Another update is that I haven’t seen a bikini in here in over a year! I wonder if Feminists are clapping. =) What happened? Who knows.
This isn’t one of my usual stops but when our bowling league is in play, the guys might like to arrange a meetup over here to see how the ladies of the team take it. Childish? Definitely, except for those times when it’s the ladies requesting we meet there for drinks.
Of the bars nearby this one serves food and chips and fries are made fresh at the time of order. (Or frozen fries and freshly fried chips for salsa) On a few trips, slow cookers were going with something interesting bubbling inside adding a new scent to the room.
I would guess that due to the economy within their walls, it’s taken a turn for the worse. Way back when, they offered draft beer. Today they don’t and you can see beer spouts missing handles! (To see a draft spout missing handles, is quite depressing. I guess as depressing as seeing a bikini bar minus the bikini-​clad-​bartenders) Beer and booze are available but only beer by the bottle and booze that’s stirred. As I’ve never seen a cocktail shaken. Prices are still cheap and they offer specials on both offerings.
In the writing of this review, for the sake of shits and giggles, I Google searched for other local bikini bars. In the research results I found the most interesting «easter egg» YouTube videos about Crabby Kims! Who knew they were «popular» at one time… Harlem Shake video:

This is a dive bar. Good food, cheap beer.
If you don’t like dive bars, don’t go. Move back to Hinsdale.
If you are «uncomfortable» around a bartender in a bikini, you’re gay, or female, or you listen to too much NPR, and need to get over yourself.
This is a weird place, and that’s what’s fun about it. If you’re not fun, move to Wheaton.
This is thee bar to go to after the Toys for Tots Motorcycle Parade. Kim brings in 4 hot bartenders, naughty Santa’s helper outfits. If you feel «uncomfortable» about that, see above… ^^^

I’ll go in this joint once in awhile… The Owner has ruined it by turning it into a Bureaucracy! First he has «Shot Regulator»? What is this an Airport Bar? Then he got the «Scanner» to scan EVERY Beer Bottle into register… Now he is making the girls write down each draft beer they sell in a LEDGER? Haha, I totally get your point but you are also ruining business at your bar! Nobody likes getting nickel/​dimed to death. Bartenders have no lee-​way to buy a customer a beer that costs .25¢? Sorry… But that only loses you business! If you have a Manager there that’s watching (And You Do) then let him do his job– the place could be way more fun if the bartender wasn’t hovering over your cash like a vulture when you order a beer! I live very close by and have for years but won’t frequent this joint/​Other than «That»… The Bartenders are great/​Wearing Bikini’s – Great Burgers – Great Plasma TV’s in High Def!!! Just a shame that the owner is clueless… GTFJD

This is where strippers go to die. I think my bartender may have been a tad bit pregnant. Good wings though.

I LOVE this dive bar! Most of the bartenders are pretty AWESOME with the exception of one whom just seems to hate her job. But overrall, the food is AMAZING for a dive bar and the gals always make sure my glass isn’t empty. Love that… the staff overrall are GREAT!

Despite my 2-​star rating of Crabby Kim’s, it’s a decent place to grab a drink, and a quick bite to eat. The food isn’t great, but it does the job if you’re within walking distance, and prefer something more than the local fast food options. The beer off tap is pretty basic, with a few imports, but what the this place lacks is a good selection of the ever popular micro-​brew craze that has swept the nation. To some a beer, is a beer, but to others, a beer should be crafted with love, something Budweiser and Miller just don’t offer. Crabby Kim’s has weekly special’s on food and beer, but outside of that, they’re a bit pricey. However, it’s a good place to watch a game, and most of the bartenders are good eye candy. Just remember, you can look, but you better not touch!

Yes, the bartenders are in bikinis but the bartenders and customers are usually very friendly and will let you get into whatever bar conversation is going on. On Saturdays, ALL the draft beers are $ 2.50 including Hacker Schor, Blue Moon and Heineken!

What a creepy dump. We were on an exploratory trip around the dives in the area so obviously Crabby Kim’s was on the list. Filled with creepers and a bartender that was completely lit, we left when we couldn’t get her attention away from whispering sweet nothings into some sleaze-ball’s ear.

THIS IS A DIVE BAR. People need to keep that in mind when going and reviewing. The girls who work there know very well what they are getting in to. If you don’t agree with the bikinis, don’t go. The $ 3.50 burger was pretty good, but only worth the price on Sundays. The fries weren’t too bad. The burgers are charbroiled, so they have that nice grill taste. $ 10 buckets on Sundays is also a pretty good deal. It’s a great place to watch sports. The staff is really friendly as well!

The bartenders at this sausage-​fest are forced to wear bikinis.
Oh that’s not enough for a 2-​star rating? Really? Ok… I’ll continue.
I got duped into going here by some friends after a Bulls game. The place isn’t that bad I’m told. It isn’t as creepy as you’ve heard they say. It doesn’t have the grimy feel of a strip club they claim. They, of course, are very, very wrong.
There is a beat up, crust covered, wall mounted machine in the bathroom that sells novelty condoms. NOVELTY CONDOMS. And trust me when I tell you it isn’t there to be kitschy or ironic. Creeeepy.
The interior feels like Hooters Junior with it’s heavily lacquered, bleached wood. It does have plenty of TVs for sports, they did have Lite bottles for $ 2 and the bikini clad bartender was very nice. I’m not saying that this awful little place doesn’t have merit for some. I just don’t ever need to be in a bar with 20 middle aged, white dudes all smelling like cheap cigars and honestly believing the bartender is into them.
The drinks were cheap, the bathroom was disgusting but the wings smelled good.
Not my scene.

I went there with a friend to get something to eat and had always heard about this place. It was pretty nice, the bartenders were friendly and attentive, the food was cheap and Miller Lite bottles that night were only $ 2. I would go back again.
They have enclosed tent out back to smoke in which if you’re a smoker during bad weather or winter helps. I think this No Smoking law sucks myself, and I’m not a smoker. But it’s wrong for government to tell people how to run their business. If people knows there’s smoking there, than don’t go there.

I decided to come for a burger and a beer or two. My expectations weren’t very high, but was intrigued by other reviews stating that the burgers were ‘close to Kuma’s’.
Pros:
The service was friendly and fast. Our burgers were only three bucks (Sunday special) and drinks were cheap.
Cons: The food wasn’t very good. They use frozen patties, mine was very undercooked on one side, and their beer selection sucks.
The place was dark, dingy, and seedy. This might be great if that’s your thing.

Nice boobs and cheap drinks.
God made you a happy place…
Go forth, be at peace.

I use to meet the scooter guys up there before a ride. I havent been again in a while until just a few days ago.
They always have a good special, and the waitstaff is very polite.
I would have given them 5 stars but the beer selection was down because they were having problems with the tap. But they do have bucket specials which you cant go wrong with if its a game night.

Girls in bikinis! Girls serving me in bikinis! Girls in little string bikinis!
Meh, it wasn’t as good as it sounds, trust me. Yes, there were girls in bikinis, but only two and, although attractive, they were not the friendliest. Come on, I’m a girl, not some dirty old man who seemed to be eye f*ing you… Granted, the guys do spend more money on you, I guess.
It’s a total dive bar which is completely cool with me, but the middle-​aged men and drunk guys are not what I strive to be around.
Besides the girls I was there with, the only other highlight of the evening was meeting a girl who worked there, but was off at the moment. At least she was nice (thanks Mayra for showing me how nice the girls can be there).
Oh, and on Thursdays, you do get a pretty good deal with $ 3 burger and fries… guess that’s a deal I can take or leave; guess I’ll be leaving it.

note to self: do not show up at crabby kim’s alone on a thursday, especially if there’s a game on. i arrived early for once in my life, and there was absolutely nowhere to sit, and minimal standing room.
when i set up the strip club event last month, some people were worried about being surrounded by the strange, lecherous men that are stereotypically linked with these places. at pink monkey, we hardly saw anyone fitting that description. crabby kim’s was a whole different story…
i’m all about girls in bikinis, but there was something a little weird/​contrived here… i mean, the strip club is one thing, but do i really need to see some old dude handing over a fiver so the bartender will jiggle her tits inside her top while rolling her eyes? nah. nice concept, but not enough fun or sexy to be your main selling point.
nice looking ladies, excellent cheap burgers (huge, tasty, and come with fries for $ 3.50), and top shelf drinks for $ 3 on thursdays (though comes in little dixie cups, is somewhat weak, and they don’t have ginger ale). i would go back if i was in the neighborhood, but i’d think twice before going out of my way.

Ok, it’s been a bit since I was there last, but since it looks like the annual tour is comin’ up once again I might as well do a quick chime off…
The bar could use a lil update, as it’s most definitely a dive… which is great and all for what it’s worth, but i just don’t like sticking to «wood» paneling when i lean on the wall…
Last time I was there I believe the waitress was 19 yrs old and in a bikini top, which was by far the high point… especially when she was the one working the fryer and subsequently putting on a dominatrix show with the jalapeño poppers as the hot grease would occasionally jump from the fryer and scald her pale firm stomach causing her to leap backwards in… ecstasy?
Mmmmm… poppers.

I have no idea how anyone can rate this place 5 stars. Yes, the burger is delicious. Yes the drinks are cheap. There is something off putting about being in a bikini bar though. When asked if the waitresses came to the tables she advised me no, due to too many wandering fingers.
Seriously, this place is full of perverted old men ogling young women they would never have a chance with.
Way better than Hooters ever could be though.
I just can’t find myself rating it five stars. When I left I felt like I needed a shower, I just don’t know if it is from the greasy (but really delicious and cheap) food, or being surrounded by perverted old men.

Okay, so after reading Unilocal reviews I thought, ‘why not?’ Just to say I’ve been to the bikini bar. Christmastime means that friends come home for leave, thought if anyone’s interested in drinking and ogling women in bikinis it would be a bunch of soldiers, right? Yeah, not so much so it took me this long to go here with a friend of mine from school. You’d think big deal, it’s a chick in a bikini who cares? but it’s so out of context it’s mind blowing to see-​also didn’t hurt that the bartender was really attractive. It definitely was the topic of conversation for a while-​and then it branched into related subcategories like «would you let your girl work in a place like this?»
Anyways, they had a $ 10 bucket special, domestic bottles and you can mix and match anyone you wanted. The food was good and cheap for what you get, it’s a standard bar bacon cheese burger but the servings are generous and the taste decent. It seemed like it was nothing but regulars besides me and my friend so no flirting but it didn’t mean the bartender wasn’t friendly-​she was and we had a short conversation about workout supplements. My friend and I definitely want to come back and it will happen.

I had to give Crabbby Kim’s five stars to counteract the bad reviews (yeah, it’s cheating — get over it) but more importantly for the unintentional comedy.
We recently went in to celebrate a good friend’s last final of grad school. It was a random Monday with nothing particular going on. We walked in and there were half a dozen patrons, all apparently by themselves (based on their distribution down the bar). This elicited several jokes under our breathe and a few good chuckles. The bartender welcomed us and took our order by leaning over the bar and pushing up her cleavage as much as possible, a move so blatant it would make a Hooters girl blush. Her motives were hardly subtle. Retreating to a table with our pitcher, we had a couple more laughs at this exchange. This shameless flirting continued the entire night with equal time to each party at the bar.
The rest of the evening went very much like the first few minutes — we would quietly joke about something absurd or hilarious amongst ourselves, whether it was the meathead cook/​bodyguard drinking cranberry juice all night, the sex toys dispenser in the men’s room, the hammered British guy buying the whole bar several rounds, or the jukebox being out of order because it was «full».
Now anyone can say this place is a crappy bar, with sub-​par food, questionable service, and a goofy theme. But that’s exactly why I love it! I wouldn’t go here all the time, but for random occasions, the «experience» can be priceless. It all depends on your sense of humor, but if it’s anything like mine, you should have a blast.