Delcano Scooter

So I went to this place to look at a vintage Vespa…
Their website doesn’t list hours of operation, so I called and made an appointment. The girl on the phone was really nice, but seemed kinda ditzy. She seemed kind of confused that I actually wanted to buy a Vespa from them. I go there and it’s a house in a residential neighborhood, so I thought the whole deal was super-​shady. Whatever. I’ve done dumber things.
I ring the doorbell. The woman who answers tells me to go around to the garage. So I walk around to the garage. Sure enough, there’s a totally sweet Vespa front and center. I ask her how much and her pitbull starts humping my leg. I laugh it off and say I’m not used to girl dogs humping my leg. The lady looks at me and says the dog’s a boy. What? Who puts a pink collar on their boy dog? The lady tells me that she checked and the dog’s definitely a boy. Whatever. She totally made her dog gay.
Anyway.
So, it turns out that the scooter wasn’t for sale. Didn’t even belong to her. She was just fixing it for the 16 year-​old owner. Instead, the crazy Filipino lady stuffed me full of pork nachos and her neighbor’s hooch beer. Some scary dudes came over and started eating, too. One totally looked like one of those kingpin skinheads from English mobster movies. One was this dude with a totally bald head and kick-​ass Husker Du t-​shirt that I swear I saw at a concert. He wasn’t that scary, actually, but he looked so out of place that it was really intimidating. The last dude was the neighbor with the hooch. Some Oriental dude that looked like the bad guy in every kung-​fu flick ever. They even started talking about guns and shit and I really started to freak-​out. I mean, I’ve seed Deliverance. And I kind of look like Ned Beatty in the right light. Turns out that they all had some sort of ties to some weird, shadowy, Government agency.
I woke-​up the next day in my car, so I’m not sure how much of that really happened.
So, as a scooter shop, the place was total rubbish. No scooter for sale, even a crappy one. But the food was flippin’ awesome, hence the two stars.