Rino

This bar is super whack. I will say that the doorman was cool cause we weren’t on a list and he let us in without being a dick or making a big deal about it. It was all downhill from there. The bartenders were surly and the drinks, while free, were weaker than Ron Howard’s hairline. The DJ sounded like he just came back from a tour of Spain’s shittiest night clubs and the women, my god the women, across the board it was either too much or too little. Too much skank, too much make-​up, too much girl in too little clothes, two little trolls grinding on each other and I had to wade through ankle deep douche to get to the restroom which was actually pretty nice.

I must admit that I was plastered when I arrived. I have to thank my friend, Viral (pronounced Veeral), for greasing the doorman and getting us in without waiting. I am not a club type of guy but if I remember correctly Rino felt more like an exclusive lounge than a club.

I don’t know how I managed to get dragged into here. This club is terrible. They have booths that are so small (literally a 4 person booth) and they try to fit 10 people in there. You figure that if you have a group of 10 people who are planning on getting at least 4 – 5 bottles, you’d stick them somewhere bigger. How are we first supposed to fit 10 people in a tiny booth. Secondly, how are we supposed to bring girls back to this booth? It’s like trying to stick 2 fat people into a mini cooper. One person can fit. Barely. But he’ll fit. 2 people. No way! It’s a good thing I had finished a bottle of vodka as a pregame before we went here. Because it would be impossible to even get to the bottle at how tiny of a section we got.
I have no idea why this club is always packed and there’s a line up outside. You can barely move around. If you have to go to the bathroom, you’re screwed. I started planning before I had to go to the bathroom on how I was going to get there. I had to start heading there before I even had to piss just to be able to get there. And it’s a maze to get there too. Uggh. Never going back.
Oh. Don’t really remember the bottle service or the price of a bottle because we did not stay long. And I think we snuck a bottle out in someone’s pant leg because this place blew.

Rino has free vodka drinks from 12am-​1am on Wednesday nights and it is STILL the worst place in the world.
It is SO fucking loud and you have to choke down the free, yet hard to get drinks while standing amongst a bunch of pretentious jerks and ugly go-​go dancers.
Some dude made some rude comment about me so when he turned around I rubbed my red lipstick all over the back of his expensive white t-​shirt.
I’d rather get a colonoscopy than go there again.

Don’t come to Rino before 2am. It’s just getting started around 1!!! Come here if you want to go to sleep at 5 – 6 am. Be prepared to wake up the next morning saying, «wow, I wish I would have just gone home before Rino last night…»
I always enjoy coming here, none the less, I am always extremely drunk. I love the design of the place, gives off a very good vibe decorated in all wood and brick and open space. A ton of open space for dancing, but a small club for a more intimate atmosphere. Always good music, with a diverse crowd of people.

Never ever ever will I go back to this place. Unless I get dragged there and the group doesn’t tell me we are going. Plan on tipping the bouncer who thinks he is a bad ass $ 100 spot just to get in, even if you know somebody there. It isn’t that bad once you get in, but I’m not going to support a place that can’t even have somewhat friendly people at the door. I know bouncers aren’t suppose to be friendly but not everyone wants to tip you for looking tough. All negative comments about this place on Unilocal are very accurate.

This place was HOT! Great looking people, music got us girls moving, and the gogo dancers really added to the vibe.
My only knock on this place was the heavy handedness of some of the security and the place is really tight in terms of space. Other than that, we had a great time and will be back.

I had one of the best nights I’ve had in a LONG time at Rino. I must say, I’m not a club person, or a pretentious place person, or a late night girl.
Yet I found myself stumbling my way out of Rino at 4am on a Saturday, after dancing all night long!
I think all clubs have to be taken into perspective. If you look around Unilocal,there are virtually no dance clubs that have very positive reviews. Primarily, because ALL clubs suck. They staff is usually extremely annoying and snotty, the clientele is always a little «amateur hour», and it’s generally just a pain in the you know what to get all dressed up, stand in a hot room with snobs and pay $ 10 for a drink. Also, I don’t know about you, but I like to surround myself with semi-​smart people. Standing around listening to Lil’ Jon scream «shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot» doesn’t make you smart, in fact you have to be a little dim to like it. Over, dance clubs are just not pleasant. No matter how cool the dance club you’re at is, that part of it is never cool.
So in comes Rino. Despite all of the general annoyances that comes with going to a club, I liked it a lot! The music was great (despite the Lil’ Jon song), people were dancing, most people were semi-​attractive, and I got the kicks of watching at least 3 drunk girls fall down. Too hilarious.
I’d be back, as long as someone else is buying bottle service!

2.75+++
I want to write a fair review with pros and cons…
Some Pros: Great décor, great music, good lookin’ crowd.
Some Cons: Small place and rude customer service and attitude from some staff. It’s not the most famous club in the world. C’mon. Underground is a far better club with better treatment.
Customer service. Clear rules. Work on a nicer staff without so much attitude.
Ok, it was good from the beginning of the night. We had a group of 6 and had 6 more coming but it was later in the evening. Then my pals brought a group that just paid cover and later was hanging out in vip area.
We started getting trouble for that. «Too many people in ViP, means order another bottle», I get that part. I understand. So, we bought a round of shots. Then my group of 6 that wanted to get another bottle came. It’s hard to organize a group of 12 to 22.
Anyways, almost every staff member was rude, by that time. I guess they were thinking we were trying to shaft them of their VIP space. I dunno. I had to kick out the group of people who just paid entrance fee. And we bought the other bottle with the new 6 people.
Then we were asked to leave as 3am hit. 12am-3am…the place is open till 4am, but I just felt they were rude to us on purpose because of the amount of people. Even though the club was super packed by that time. I thought they could have been a bit more polite to VIP customers, yes our party got to be a little more and had to manage the #s better, and I did.
We ended up spending over $ 700 – 800 there.
I will never go to Rino again. Their customer service and attitude is rude. I understand it was a busy night, but still they could use some more customer service manners.
My friends bought a round of shots at the bar. We were mostly «ASIAN». I dunno, if it was rudeness for that or what. But they were told to pay for their shots twice in a very rude manner. After they paid and tipped well. We all work in the service industry, bars, restaurants, etc.
So, we clearly saw the rudeness of 80% of the staff. Especially, some of the security was quite rude. Most of the bouncers and VIP coordinator, VIP waitress, manager tried their best to be polite and treated us with some good customer service after some «attitude» that I needed to show back. I look 25 but I’m 33. I know how a business and customers should be treated with logic and fairness. I get that.
The vip coordinator did comp us for champagne. I thought mostly more than ½ the night was great… so those are 3.5 — 4.0 stars…
=====================
Still I didn’t like feeling we were treated well. Maybe it was the miscommunication. Who knows.
I’ve had bottle service at Underground, Crimson, Manor, Le Passage, Vision, and other places as well. It was always a smooth process. We had people buy bottles and others just hang out in our area.
I just thought the rules were a bit unpleasant. If you pay for over 2 bottles, and there is 1 more hour of the club to be open, why would you kick those people to the dance floor?
Unless the table was being paid for another party. But there wasn’t another party there.
Anyways, if you expect people to stay and spend $ 1000 and more… shouldn’t you give them the comfort of drinking for the rest of the night? And maybe we order more?
Thanks for a fun Halloween but no thanks for the «attitude of some bartenders and some security and «assuming we didn’t want to be fair as customers»…

People, you must must must be in the mood for a party if you’re going to go to RiNo on a Friday or Saturday night. Keep in mind the following:
— RiNo is in River North. It’s a River North crowd. If you don’t know what that means, I’ll break it down for you: guys want to flaunt their dolla dolla bills y’all, and girls just want to dance and reapply their makeup in the bathroom (with the attendant who expects a dollar every time you go to take a tinkle).
— RiNo gets crowded as hell. Be prepared not to move much and, ladies, for lots of guys to hit on you hardcore. It’s not as sleazy as I’m making it out to be, but you’re probably going to get some male attention. Duh, it’s 4 a.m.
–RiNo’s drinks are not cheap. They’re not super expensive either like a hotel bar. But you’re probably going to pay at least $ 8 for a drink, if not more.
–RiNo is fun, like I said, IF YOU’RE IN THE MOOD. This is key. If you’re in the mood to socialize and fraternize and partay, get thee to RiNo. If you’re in the mood to sit down and chill, do not come here. The only people who sit down are the ones that pay $ 4 million for bottle service.
–RiNo has dancers. They are scantily clad. They shake their asses. It’s… interesting.

I heard about this place from Metromix (Channel 10 CLTV) and it looked like a pretty happening place. I attempted to go in one night and one of the doormen told me the place wasn’t for me. I had a pretty hot girl with me at the time, but I guess that wasn’t enough. Then he told me the Chicago Blackhawks were hanging out in there, which I really didn’t care because I am not a fan. The sad part about it is that I found a pretty good parking space (what a waste!). The girl I was with insisted that we leave and I concurred.
Months later, I was hanging at one of my favorite spots (MOONSHINE) with a couple of buddies. A group of wild women rolled into the place and took a liking to me and my friends, so we wound up hopping around to various bars. They actually knew the owner to each bar we went to. Hmmmmm…
The final destination: RINO! The same place that would not allow me to come in 9 months earlier, allowed me, my buddies and these crazy women in ahead of everyone. I even had a triumphant moment when I heard someone in the background say «Damn I wish I knew those guys!»
We walked in and barely made it to the bar because it was so crowded. Drinks were expensive as expected, but to my surprise the service was good! The music was pretty diverse and some people seemed to be having an ok time. The most memorable moment came when I was attempting to get to the bathroom and there was a guy in front of the door making out with some girl with his hand locked in her pants. Once he realized I was wanting to get by, he looked at me and said «Hey man, you see what the hell I got going on here, keep it moving!»

I know I am going to get roasted for a positive review for this place… but…
I love to dance. I always have. I went late one night on a bachelorette party with some of my oldest friends who also love to dance. We’d had a couple drinks prior. We didn’t have to wait in line or pay a cover. Everything went pretty smoothly.
The music is great, the layout of the bar is cool. The bartenders were friendly enough (although at this point in the night, I was confused as to why they all looked like clones.)
Aside from almost getting into a fist fight with two 22-​year old idiots at the bar, I had an awesome time.
I don’t make clubs part of my regular routine, but the company I had made my time here thoroughly enjoyable. And danceable, for sure!
And dudes by the bar, if I ever see you again… I will do more than just mime punching you in your face. (Yeah, sometimes I pretend like I’m tough. Deal with it.)

I know this is supposed to be the «it» place at the moment and a celebrity «hotspot», but in reality it is a tiny bar packed with Loyola students and guys in Affliction tshirts. If it wasn’t for the waitresses, bartenders and go-​go dancers there would have been a total of 10 women in the whole club and this was a Saturday night.
The staff take themselves WAY to seriously for a club that doesn’t even have a dancefloor. Otherwise it would be a fun place in its own right, but trying to be pretentious in Chicago will get you nowhere in the long run.

This was my Rino experience. After a $ 12 drink, a guy grabbed me and my friend and asked if we wanted drinks at his little roped-​off area. How could I say no? This was our brief conversation:
Him: «Want some champagne?»
Me: «Sure!»
*pours drink*
Him: «Let’s dance!»
Me: «No, I’m cool.»
Him: «Are you just one of those girls that likes free drinks?»
Me: «Yeah.»
Him: «Then get the fuck out.»
Me: «Ok.»
I walked away, chugged my champagne and threw the empty glass in the trash can.

I will be brutally honest straight off the bat here, if you don’t know someone to get you on the list, and you’re not willing to spend money, you might want to think about going somewhere else. To a degree this warning even applies to women as well, unless you are crème of the crop prepare to wait just like everyone else. If you even want a chance, try to get there early (before 2am definitely) and dress well, I can’t stress that enough.
Once 2am nears, this place fills up quick. I would argue that it is at the top of a very short list of 4am clubs in Chicago and they bounce the door accordingly. If want to cut the line, greasing the bouncer is a good way to go. I would say $ 40 for two, $ 60 for three and maybe $ 100 for 4 (guys) will get you in the door but on top of that there will probably be $ 20 cover per person unless the bouncer is feelin generous and whisks you through without paying that.
Once inside the club is small, there is a U-​shaped bar at the center with tables across against the walls on all 3 sides and an elevated platform behind the bar with tables on it. If you are booking table service and you have a large group (6 or more), ask for the table in the back corner of the club, it’s larger than the others. Otherwise, ask for a table behind the bar, it will allow you to over look the dance floor and is a great place to see and be seen.
Insider tip: if you are doing bottle service, or have a strong enough connection to get you access, try to get into the kitchen in the back. The ‘kitchen’ (just as at Manor) is the back service bar for the cocktail waitresses located in what was formerly a kitchen. It has its own restroom and there are sofas and chairs on the loading dock adjacent to it. If you want to take a break from the noise and crowd of the club, it’s a good place to get a drink (the bar back there is cash only) and chit chat. While sitting on the loading dock (its inside) may sound a bit low brow its really not a bad set up at all and the high level of exclusivity in being allowed back there gives it a cool factor. If you want to impress women, bring them back for a drink on the sofa.
The crowd is really good, especially for a wednesday if you are looking for something hot mid-​week. Although not quite the same celeb draw as Manor, RiNo certainly gets its share of the beautiful people. The dance floor is always packed, the DJ is good and the gogo dancers are gorgeous.
Price wise you will find it the same as Manor (they are sister clubs), $ 6 – 7 for a beer $ 11 – 14 for mixed drinks, $ 275 and up for bottles (+20% grat) but you wont have to wait in line or pay cover if you have table service.
Bottom line is if you want to have a good time, bring money and remember its not what you know, its who you know.

Abso-​feckin-​lutely overrated!
I understand that this is one of those guest list only deals… well I was on the guest list so that got me in. meh…
The drinks are pricey and the music was lame. And there is no space to dance — it’s a smallish place… and not even in a cozy sense. Anyone pining to get into RiNo needs to get over themselves. Not in a hurry to go back to this poseur haven.

A-​hem.
They tried to make me go to RiNo. I said, «No, no no.»
It’s got lots of ‘working’ girls — all up in v.i.p. They ho, ho ho’s.
Now, I ain’t got the time to kiss some jackhole bouncer’s behind.
They tried to make me go to RiNo. I won’t go, go, go.
I’d rather be eating tacos
Or, maybe, getting ‘comped Prosecco
Cuz RiNo ‘tude — RiNo ‘tude can’t go no higher
The crowd’s not fun; just broke and tired
Bartenders need to get some class
’til then that dump can kiss my black ass
They tried to make me go to RiNo. I said, «No, no no.»
It’s got lots of ‘working’ girls — all up in v.i.p. They ho, ho ho’s.
Now, I ain’t got the time to kiss some jackhole bouncer’s behind.
They tried to make me go to RiNo. I won’t go, go, go.
*does the crackhead shimmy*

I am absolutely in love with this place. And I live in NYC, so I know what’s up. I’ve been going to RiNo since day 1 way back in the day, and I have yet to be disappointed. The music here rocks, the staff is friendly once you get to know them, the boys are always hot, and the vibe makes you want to party til 5am (which I do. often.) It also doesn’t hurt that you’ll very often find yourself hob-​nobbing with whatever few celebs happen to be in town on that particular night.
Thank god for RiNo. Chicago nightlife would really be dismal without this place.

Being a visitor to Chicago and knowing NO ONE to tell us where to go, we relied on some guy named Jesse James (yes, it’s his real name) who we met in the notorious «Viagra Triangle» earlier on in the evening. Transfixed by his Tom Brady-​esque looks, he could have told us to go to to BFE and back, and we would have done it. Anyway, we walk into RiNo (literally, walked in and briefly stopped for an ID check, no cover Yippee!) and immediately noticed that you had to be really good looking to work here. I’m no lesbian, but these girls were super pretty and wearing really cute-​slutty outfits (It’s OK to be cute slutty if you’re required to wear it and look great in it!).
It became packed pretty quick and we had a great time. It really is a cool place to go. Warning — if you go with your boyfriend/​love interest/​husband etc. beware that he MIGHT drool a little at the employees. You can feel a little insecure if you’re not as bangin’ as the staff, but you’ll get over it after a few good drinks! Awesome music.
PS — I met a three time X game gold medalist. That was interesting. I also met someone who was born in 1986.
PPS — It got REALLY crowded around 4am on a Saturday night. Try to get your drink on and head home before the RiNo mosh pit begins.

I would like to title this little essay, «NOT THAT THERE’S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT.»
RiNo is a club of the «Chicago Scene» variety & while it’s not my cuppa tea, it certainly serves its purpose.
That being said, here are a few observations:
— I think I was one of maybe 3 women (okay, let’s be honest here, some were still just barely legal girls) who wasn’t wearing an outfit that bared at least one, if not all of the body parts one could label «private.»
— A guy was getting a lap dance in the «VIP» area (which is really just a little section above all else … metaphor much?
— Apparently, faux hawks & screen print t-​shirts two sizes too small are the «it» thing for the club’s «No really, I’m straight» clientle of men.
— Had the bar suddenly flooded, I’d have had plenty of dual flotation devices I could have grabbed a hold of … if you know what I mean.
— Nonchalant passing of items between hands below the bar was so common place, I would have thought I was on the set of «Blow.»
— Women were being passed from guy to guy like they were gifts. «Oh Johnny just broke up with his gf … here … take this one.» «Mikey lost a million dollar client today … c’mere Tawny.» «Y’know what’ll cheer you up? An Eastern European blonde!»
— For the amount of superficial in that place, I would’ve thought I was in LA or South Beach.
BUT … like I said, NOT THAT THERE’S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT. The Peacocks & their Prey have to have a place to preen. &, at the very least, it provided a fun backdrop for me to feel good about myself. No, I may not have had a neon sign on me that screamed, «SEX SEX SEX!» but I could rest in the comfort of knowing that I was not only naturally attractive, but also beautiful on the inside, too.
So it was a nice little ego-​boost found in the most unlikely of places.
PS: Apparently, there’s a secret back room area (a.k.a. the kitchen) where all the «cool kids» get to go. Not quite sure what the allure is, considering it’s seriously like you’re just hanging out in the back hallway of a bar/​restaurant, but whatever.