Triple R Repair Service

Other than just trying to figure out a way to write out the sound of loud painful groaning («aaauuuuugggggghhhhhhhhgaaawwwwwwd Lord — why? Whyyyyyyy!!!»), I will tell you that you might want to keep on going to the next line in the phone book («Phone book!!! Wtf is a phone book anymore? Whyyyyyyyyy!!!») under «Handyman Service».
He showed up like 40 minutes early, argued with me about what time it was and then immediately asked to use the bathroom. He seemed like he had been drinking (when he showed up to work on my gas line…) but I can’t say that he was, maybe he just seems that way. Then he wanted to know if I had a flashlight for him to use…(No bitch — Why do you think I called you in the first fucking place?) Then he left for like an hour to go find a flashlight (Shouldn’t this be like the saber of the handyman world?) When he returned, he fixed the small repair we needed done to the water heater — but didn’t relight the pilot light. So I had to call him again later that night to come over and relight the stupid thing, but basically after multiple phone calls and excuses about funerals and some other crap, he never came back again to fix it — a small thing, yes, but if I could do such small things myself, I wouldn’t be calling handymen out of the phone book in the first fucking place.
So basically, fuck a phone book. And this dude. Next time I’m going to go buy a wrench and one of those Dummies books. Or make my man go buy a wrench and one of those Dummies books.