Bistro on Elm

I’m going to just be upfront: do not go here, what so ever. Made the mistake of getting the breakfast buffet and it’s probably the worst food I’ve ever had. I came there feeling ill from being hungry, I left feeling more ill from the food and still hungry. The only thing that didn’t taste horrible was the bacon. Eggs were digestible but watered down. Nothing else was even worth trying to eat to feel full. It was also $ 15 for one person. The biggest waste of money, ever.

I’d like to tell you a story about Bistro on Elm. It’s a little long but please bear with me.
I’ve read Bistro’s other reviews and can’t speak about their controversial breakfast buffet but I can talk about their lunch experience. It felt like the opening scene of a horror movie; everything looked fine but I felt like something unexpected was going to happen at any minute… and it wasn’t going to be a good surprise. My entire meal had a cloud of suspense hanging over it.
I walked in just after 11AM on a Friday and the entire first floor was empty. I’m not kidding; the Bistro, the hotel lobby, and the hotel reception… all empty. The lights were all on but the people weren’t there. I looked into the Bistro to ask about restrooms but no one was there; went to the hotel reception desk but no one was there either. I walked through the back hallways near reception and couldn’t find anyone. I finally spotted a figure wearing a hotel uniform but they rushed out the front door. I called to them but they kept walking and didn’t look back. Finally, I caught another employee as he exited the back room. He directed me to the restrooms, which were nice inside.
I returned to the Bistro and it was still empty. I timidly called out, «Hello?» to no response. I walked up to the bar area and it looked clean and well lit. I repeated, «Hello? Is anyone here?» A soft voice in the shadows replied, «I’m just opening up. I’ll serve you.» It was Connie, a delightful lady who seems to be a veteran employee at the Bistro.
My clock showed 11:21AM so I asked Connie, «Thanks, do you open at 11:30AM on Fridays?» She nicely replied, «No. We open at 11.» I was confused but didn’t pursue the matter when Connie added, «The dining area opens at 11. We’ve got a girl who does that area but she’s wandered off.» In all honesty, I was a little worried about this girl and whether she was safe, because wandering off in this abandoned hotel could end badly. It seemed presumptuous and rude to share that I was worried so I didn’t mention it.
Connie was a lot of fun. We talked about the crowds at the Bistro during Bengals and Reds games. I ordered a Pepsi, but something was wrong with my beverage. It was too sweet on some sips and under carbonated on others; it was very unusual how the taste changed but was never quite right.
I ordered the Bistro Burger, with a patty cooked medium. Connie went through a list cheeses I could add. I asked her opinion and she said bleu was her favorite.
About 15 minutes passed while Connie and I chatted. She was very attentive and eventually said she’d be right back with my burger. Now, I don’t know what was going on behind the scenes but Connie was gone for about another 15 minutes. There was an eerie silence while waiting.
My back faced the lobby area and that was unsettling for some reason. I turned to look for Connie and was startled to see another patron seated at a table just behind me. He was alone and just kinda staring at me. He didn’t say anything but seemed to be waiting for service. I fiddled on my phone for about three minutes and looked back again to find that he was gone, but without making a sound.
Connie returned with my order. The fries were pretty good. The burger was pretty good too; except the patty was well-​done to the point of having burnt parts. Not a big deal but it almost felt like that happened on purpose to hide something. The rest of the burger (tomato, lettuce, onion, bun) were pretty good.
Another employee delivered a cardboard box to the bar. While looking through the contents, Connie said, «Brie?! That’s my favorite.» I thought bleu cheese was her favorite but felt rude bringing it up.
Connie and I chatted a bit longer. She mentioned not liking Macy’s in Kenwood because of the «Oriental» men outside who offer massages. I paid quickly and scuttled off. I didn’t see a soul on my way out.
Overall, my quirky interaction with Connie was pleasant but everything else about the experience put me on edge. I’m sure it was sanitary but the Bistro Burger didn’t sit well in my stomach. I feel especially bad giving only one star despite Connie’s positive interaction but something just wasn’t right about that place, the people, and that food.

Love cheap-​quality food at high prices? Come to the Bistro on Elm! Our waitress was nice enough, but wasn’t attentive at all. We never got a refill for our drinks. We were never checked on, as were the 4 other people waiting for their food. We ate there for breakfast, but we waited almost a half hour for our food. The food was bad. That’s the only word I have. The French toast was sour dough, which really made it taste like sour milk. The eggs were dry and had obviously been sitting out. I got one biscuit. One. And it could have fit inside a graham cracker. I honestly have not been to a worst hotel restaurant. Just go get fast food.

Ok breakfast buffet. Certainly not worth the price. Staff was very nice but not very attentive.

No. Don’t do it. Do not eat here.
I made the poor decision to settle for the breakfast here than go out to a Tim Horton’s or any other decent breakfast café. Like I said, poor decision.
I don’t even know where to start. I will say that the waitresses, while horribly inattentive, were well mannered… Not quite friendly, and neutral at best.
Anyway, so both Allyn and I decide to order the Steak and Eggs. This included a «sirloin», hash browns, eggs, and a biscuit for $ 13. When the plates came out, they looked promising. The presentation was decent, at least.
I just… everything was flavorless. Upon first tasting the steak, I wanted to pour ketchup on it. Luckily, my boyfriend thought the same thing, and put ketchup over everything on his plate. I quickly followed suit. I swear to you, this was the only thing that could be done to the food at this point to make it palatable.
And, I’m sorry… but I’ve had better service at Steak N’ Shake. She just dropped off the food and left. She did NOT check on us a few minutes after she delivered the food to see how everything was. (Come on, that’s extremely basic.) I had to stop eating my food after a while, because I definitely needed more water to choke it down. (Okay, I’m kind of exaggerating. A little.)
After several minutes of looking her way, exaggerated eye contact, etc… she finally makes her way over. We had to ask for water refills. (I know this sounds trite, but I was already annoyed at this point.)
I still have more to complain about, but I am exhausted from everything I’ve already said. Terrible food. Bad service.

This place is more like Nightmare on Elm Street.
–Slow to be seated
–Slow Service
–Single focused staff (no team work effort — ZIP ZERO ZILTCH)
–Frumpy, over-​worked waitress
–No lunch until noon — inflexible (Sunday Morning)
–Buffet Breakfast: doughie french toast, over cooked bacon, under cooked sausage, scrambled eggs that tasted bland and like powdered eggs…
–Coffee that tasted like it was sitting for a while
–Understaffed (come on… a convention is across the street, the hotel is booked and you don’t staff up. You don’t get a schedule of events to be «in the know».
–Overpriced
Yup — it’s a nightmare… to your time, waste of your money and a nightmare on your tummy.

Scary.
This place looks abandoned. We stumbled in here only for the adventure. I quickly realized how dark, outdated, and just run down this poor place is. It is sad that guests staying in the hotel have to rely on this place for their hotel bar.
We just had drinks, I had a gin and tonic which was fine, but how can you screw that up? Everything in this place is brass and 70’s looking. There are so many other amazing local spots to grab a drink. Avoid this place.

Blach.
Problem 1: the free breakfast — buffet omitting all warm items. The warm items were $ 4 more and is not worth it.
Problem 2: dirty. Dirty tables dirty carpet dirty staff. Dirty.
Problem 3: understaffed. They had a captive audience and didn’t have the staff to accommodate it.
We ate 2 breakfasts and attempted to eat dinner but we never got our food. We finally got beer and menus, finally ordered and then we waited. My husband got bored and ordered pizza while we waited. The pizza was delivered and the waitress came by to tell us we were next up on the grill. So the four of us cancelled our order and just ate pizza. The amazing thing is our order was fries, onion rings, and chicken pasta — not exactly difficult to make, but they couldn’t do it. They said we could stay and eat our pizza but we decided to just go to our room.