GNC

In an effort to make this otherwise boring review entertaining, I will be writing it as Hans and Franz. If you never saw their skit on SNL, then you will just think that I’m an idiot, which is true.
GNC has the supplements to make you the embodiment of perfect pumptitude! If you’re a little girly-​man you need to come here so you can get properly pumped up! Listen to me now and hear me later, they also have vitamins and fat burners!
Anyone who doesn’t take our advice is just jealous. Because their girlfriend looks at us, than looks at them, and realizes she’s just cuddling up with a girly-​man!
Hear me now and believe me later! They also sell whey protein, mass gainers, and creatine! These products will get you pumped up! Now you might ask yourself, «Hans and Franz, where do you go once you pump the muscle?» Well, if you’re not a crybaby, you enter yourself into the Mr. Universe competition.
They also sell herbs, natural remedies, diet, cleansing and digestion products. You may think these products are for sissies, so go ahead and laugh now, but let me tell you something my friend, we’ll be the ones laughing later! Ya! Ya! Maybe you don’t understand English. Maybe the only time you understand is when you’re pummeled and beaten with a fist full of pumped-​up muscle!
You can also get their Gold Card which gives you discounts on their products made to pump you up! Or you could spend that $ 15 you should be using to purchase the card on another bowl of Haagen-​Daaz!
If you want people to stop you on the street and stare at your amazing pumptitude, you need to stop being a girly-​man and check this place out!