Dick’s Last Resort

Hmmmmm. What to say…
Certainly wasn’t all I had expected for it to be. Honestly, I was more enthused with the décor than anything else.
Food? Mediocre Bar Food (at best). Quite honestly, I’ve had bar food, dive bar food that blew me more outta the water than this.
Price? I’m not typically one to get all bent outta shape over the price of a great meal. $ 175.00 for 6 people though, 3 of them being kids– that hurt a bit. Even with $ 50 worth of gift certificates, it still stung.
The «insults»? So so. It kinda takes the fun outta it, when you glance across the dining room and see people with the same things written on their hats too. Kinda takes the unique creativity and wit you soooo wanna give your server, away.
All in all, I’m not angry about the visit. It’s a one and done though. I certainly won’t go out of my way to rush back.

Food order didn’t get taken until after my group had been seated for just short of one hour. The place was so loud it was insane. As with other reviews the food was not worth it and by the time the food arrived and we ate, we had been in the place two hours. The waiters are too busy
to attend to tables because they are busy making hats, throwing napkins and making sure everyone at your table gets insulted. Yes it was hilarious but not worth the time or money.

Didn’t like this place at all I know the servers are doing their job but I can’t handle the sarcasm maybe I would have enjoyed it if I wasn’t so hungry. But the food sucked the salad was good and the fresh croutons. Just go when your drunk or getting drunk order bar food because the real food menu jus is horrible

Service aside… The food is absolutely terrible and way over priced. That alone is enough for me to never return.

My two stars has got nothing to do with service, the server was exactly what we expected. He was rude and aloof and made dirty jokes and it was awesome! Exactly what we wanted. The two stars is because the food is pretty cruddy and way over-​priced.
Got a double burger, it was swimming in grease. The tots were crunchy, but there were really only like 10 – 14 tots in the basket. Definitely not worth the upcharge. Beers are also way too expensive, you’re looking at $ 5.50, FIVE MOTHERF*#KING FIFTY, for a bottle of Coors light and all the equivalences. Menu is super limited too, really you’re gonna get either a burger or some wings that are way to small and with a small variety of sauces. The all around consensus was that food sucked and cost way too much.
The people were cool, the atmosphere was what we expected and wanted, but the food was garbage and for that reason, we will not be back unless some friend with bad taste really wants to go.

Came for lunch in July ’15 after grand opening, I can tell you the burgers are greasy and you can literally count the small pittance of (cold, soggy) fries you get. Remember to ask if what you ordered gets season salt and have them skip it, or you’ll be swimming in seasoned salt. I can’t comment on the service, they kind of warn you its terrible service. And it was for lunch, so they don’t go full throttle on the sarcasm and offensive jokes. But overall, lunch took forever, and was expensive, greasy, and terrible.
Went back again for just drinks and appetizers October ’15 after work. Service was actually great this time. Had corn dog, shrimp, ribs, catfish, and chicken appetizers for a going away party. They were all pretty good, except the catfish appetizer got the season salt, which made it terrible. We just had to skip the pieces with pounds of season salt. Mixed drinks are just bloody awful. Long Islands and Margaritas (the specials for this time) both get a horrible smelling and tasting sour mix, and they are the worst I’ve had in a while. The only difference was that one glass of sour mix got salt and tequila while the other got a splash of coke. Otherwise, it was hard to tell the difference between those drinks.
If you must go here and see what its all about, I say get something fried (they do fried things well) and/​or sitck to the appetizers and beer at happy hour. Can’t go wrong. Oh, and save your blood pressure and skip the seasoned salt.

Not one entrée for vegetarians. I had two side salads for my meal and they refused to combine them onto a single plate. Overpriced as well. Would not recommend.

I totally understood going into this place that I would be insulted by my server. Honestly even if you are going to be insulting… try to keep it classy. There were kids at the table behind us and the waitress continually asked our table if they liked balls in their mouth. And to top it all off she was making fun of homosexuals while their was a gay couple sitting next to us.
To top it off… food is way over priced and the quality sucked. Food is either overdone, under done, or over salted… and portions aren’t that big. Don’t waste your time.

Went here with some coworkers, probably wouldn’t have been my first choice for a team lunch but in the interest of having some potential fun, I said what the heck.
So the place was empty and I get why — who wants to spend $ 13 for a burger at lunch? .and not some gourmet or grassfed beef like burger, nope just a regular old burger. Everyone’s meal seemed substantially overpriced and the food was average at best; plus way too much salt, I’m talking sodium overload!
The place is a very touristy gimmick, in both price & presentation. The waiter was alright, but I was expecting more. he appeared to be timid and uncomfortable, maybe he felt upstaged as our group cracked more jokes than he could come up with including a few at his expense. All in all I had alright time, but that’s probably more due to the company at the table than the Dick’s experience — seriously doubt there will be a return visit.

I’ve never written a Unilocal review but my experience was so bad that I couldn’t go without saying something.
I’ve been to Dick’s before in Chicago and the service was slow but I figured they were just really busy. Service here was beyond slow… or should I say almost non existent. It took 30 minutes to get drinks and place our order in. Then in took an hour for our food to come out. Our sever was no where to be found. We saw other servers busting their ass off but we rarely saw ours. She tried to be funny but was terrible at it… calling me Taylor Swift and asking if my mom likes balls in her mouth (which none of us found funny). We didn’t get any hats either which just proved our server had no humor or was just plain lazy with her job.
We went here on a Wed. night before a concert and I told our server when we ordered our food to please bring our dessert and checks out with our dinner because we didn’t want to be late. Did she do that? Of course not. I again asked for checks 20 minutes before we needed to leave and we never received them. They finally brought dessert 5 minutes before we were supposed to leave but it was the wrong one we ordered. Finally a manager walked by and I complained that we never received our checks and needed to leave that moment. I never thought I would dine and dash but the manager just told us «Go, Get out of here and go see your concert» … damn, service with sarcasm or just plain rude?
As far as the food — don’t waste your money or calories. It’s extremely overpriced and not at all worth what you pay for it. I’ve had better shrimp and crab legs at a china buffet… with a lot less salt. They had waaaaay too much seasoning and the fries were still mushy and not cooked all the way. The crabby balls — fried and burnt.
What is sad is that I had two $ 25 gift certs that they wouldn’t let us use together. I refuse to go back here ever again even though I still have them. I’d rather put them in the trash then give them to someone else to experience what I just did.

So… I have no idea how to review a place like this lol. The experience is definitely unique, the food not so much. The concept for this restaurant is interesting, but not for everybody. AKA I probably wouldn’t be taking kids here lol, but that’s just me. The prices are high for what you get, cause the food’s just about average diner quality, nothing more nothing less. TBH I felt extremely uncomfortable the whole time I was here, but everyone else seemed to love it so if this is your vibe (think frat party crossed with spring break) then I’m all for it haha. Being right outside the arena makes it a prime spot for a pre/​post-​game meal too. Long story short, if you wanna be joked with by your waiter while wearing a paper condom on your head while you eat, then this place is for you.

The verdict is still out. I personally don’t enjoy these staged environments. I have a choice of where to eat and this is a once in a blue moon stop. My girlfriend and I came for happy hour and warned the waitress that we were sensitive and prefered to forego the normal sarcasm. She was cool with it and we enjoyed chatting ot up with her. She made an effort to make us smile and ensure we were entertained. The food was good. We had the crab balls wich come with fries. Drink specials are reasonable, the patio is big and well covered. The gift shop as some fun and edgy items.

I completely understand the concept of Dick’s but my experience was beyond terrible.
It took 30 minutes to get ANYTHING to drink. I understand that it was a Saturday night but seriously? Out of control. I ended up going to the hostess to get a water because it was evident our drinks weren’t coming anytime soon.
By the time we got our beverages, it had been almost 45 minutes so we expedited the process by ordering appetizers only. The food was okay, but I think it’s more of the experience you pay for. Even so, one person didn’t even get their food and other orders were wrong.
It took another 45 minutes to get our checks and we were done waiting so we filed up to the cash register to get payment taken care of.
Advice? Smaller sections, put a bartender exclusively on your service bar. If you run out of tortilla chips, send someone to Giant Eagle.

Chase was awesome. Danced seductively on strangers on request and the food was pretty good too. Down side: he kissed my fiancée.
The food was delicious. Our appetizer didn’t get ordered in the kitchen so the manager took it off out bill and personally brought it out.
Chase aka Big Sexy is an amazing waiter and I would suggest him if you get the chance!

I’m sure the bartenders and staff are funny and great company, but I just couldn’t hear them over all the noise. So, felt kind of awkward.
The food itself is pricey and not really that good either. But the atmosphere seems like fun.
I don’t know, I might give the place another chance. Perhaps sit at a table next time and not at the bar. Might be easier to hear the staff.

This is not my usual type of place but a friend was in town and wanted to meet here on opening day. Now, I have a general disdain for «touristy» places. And, make no mistake, this *is* a touristy place.
Some things to remember about this place; they will be jerks to you (it’s their job), there are fake bathroom doors that they will steer you towards so you look like a fool, and practically everything on the menu is fried. I did not order food on this visit, I had beer for dinner which seemed like the healthier option.
The beer list is all right, they do sell some local beers which is nice… but most of the time any beer will do when in a touristy place. I am sure that this place will do a brisk business on game nights and during happy hours. I am not so sure that tourists will flock to downtown for a visit though.

This is written more off of personal opinion than anything, but I do not want to pay money to be harassed by a waiter or a bartender. Every time I’ve been to Florida over the past few years and friends plan to go to one of these, I avoid it. And now that there’s one in Columbus, I remember why. They write very mean, derogatory things on weird paper hats and you have to wear them for the duration of your meal… and then on top of it, the staff makes weird sexual jokes on purpose and somehow it’s supposed to be fun? I know that some people enjoy that, and maybe it’ll be popular with the hockey crowd since it is right outside of Nationwide Arena.
And on a totally separate, less personal note, everything is very expensive for what you get. I refer to it as ‘vacation pricing’ because the restaurant is expensive, and priced at something you would find in a tourist-​y location. But let’s be real, Blue Jackets fans aren’t tourists and I’m not sure they’ll be willing to pay when they could go down the street to Boston’s Pizza for half the price. But hey, who am I to judge! I wish them luck on their journey to make people feel bad about themselves while eating dinner

This place is fun with a question mark.
I came here as part of the Unilocal Block Party event. It was one of the spots on the party tour, but we circled back to it at the end of our schedule to order some food. We were done drinking when we were ready to order food and saw that they had run out of the free beer for their portion of the block party. To put eager Unilocaler’s minds at ease, they offered complimentary shots as a replacement option. That was nice of them.
I think you have to be in the right mind set to eat at Dick’s. I had never been to a restaurant where being rude/​sarcastic to guests was the theme, so it took some getting used to. I was telling one of the bartenders that another bar on the tour had run out of the complimentary drinks for the Unilocal event — I expressed my feelings that this was somewhat upsetting, since this was part of the deal and it was only an hour and a half or so into the event. Her response was, «Well, I’m glad you chose to come back here — NOT.» Ok, kudos on keeping up with the rules of the house, but that just kind of rubbed me the wrong way. I get the goofy/​fun spirit of the restaurant — the hats they put on people, the birthday traditions, and décor. (beware of the fake women’s restaurant btw) But I think the rudeness could be cut from the act and the experience would be much more enjoyable. I will say the bartenders did a great job of engaging with the ladies and the ladies seemed to enjoy it. So, maybe if you want to embarrass your friend for her birthday or bachelorette party, take her here. Being a lady myself, I would not choose this place for a party — I’m at the old winery age I guess.
The food menu is quite annoying — a chalk board on the wall of the bar. Also, when I asked one of the bartenders about the options and sides, I received more of the sarcastic/​rude banter, rather than helpful tips. I truly had questions about the meal, but felt too awkward about the situation to push it and really try to get my questions answered. I asked if the meal came with sides and I got one of those shouldn’t-you-already-know-the-answer responses. After our conversation, I thought the bartender alluded to the fact that I would be getting rice and vegetables with my entrée, but it turned out to be just fries. The crab legs were pretty good — better than I had expected, so that was nice. We waited a long time for our check, but it turned out they had some issues with their register.
Also, on my way out of the bathroom, I heard a server complaining about serving too many waters or something like that — saw me walking by and shouted «give us good reviews on Unilocal!» Hmmm. Right.
We had a great time on the patio at the beginning of the Unilocal Block party. The lady running the prize wheel was very nice and funny — not sure if she was a Dick’s employee or not. The patio is a nice setting — outside with large umbrellas and views of the lighted trees at night. Quite nice, but… you’re still at Dick’s.
I do not plan to make the trip downtown to go back to Dick’s. I guess if I worked downtown, it might be a fun? place to go to for happy hour, but would be nervous what kind of remarks would come out of the staff’s mouths while with colleagues. For me, I like the kind of happy hours/​restaurants where people are purposefully courteous and nice and I can relax after a long day of work… just not my kind of place I guess.
So, again, to sum it up — Fun?

I stopped here as part of the Unilocal block party. They did an awesome job welcoming people and creating a fun atmosphere for the event.
Towards the end of the night we came back to eat a dinner as regular patrons. The main menu is written on chalk boards around the restaurant. Some kitsch hanging from the ceiling and people walking by can block viewing angles which is a minor irritation. The menu isn’t too extensive: mostly a couple versions or combinations of chicken, ribs, steak, fish, and shrimp.
We shared an order of cheese sticks that were pretty ordinary. I went with the «Captn’ Dick’s Seafood Platta» which is catfish, crabby balls, and fried shrimp over some fries ($ 19.99). The first thing I noticed was that the serving size was smaller than I hoped. The fish looked like an oversized fish stick. The taste was very good, but I wouldn’t have guessed it to be catfish, maybe cod. The shrimp were fine. The crabby balls, which are crab cakes balls, were a little too wet on the inside, but that’s better than dry I guess. The fries were average and there weren’t very many of them.
App came out quickly, entrees were a little slow. The server did a good job keeping to the jerk theme. Overall, OK food but overpriced.

I had «the dolly» it was two delicious chicken breasts. You have the option of grilled or fried. I had grilled and added BBQ sauce. It comes with a good portion of rice and half a corn on the cob. The whole meal was excellent. I was surprised considering it just opened on two days prior. I also had a 40 oz bud light. Shared some of it with a buddy. The 40 oz bottle was $ 10. Price and bottle is comparison to 3 – 4 beers. They also bring you a small bucket and ice to keep it cold. The only thing that is horrible about the place is the menu. The drinks are on paper that you can hold. The whole food menu is on chalk boards. I had to stand up and turn around just to see the menu.