Porter’s Pub

My friend and I went to Porter’s last Friday for a burlesque show. After reading the other reviews on Unilocal,I was wary but we were going for the show, not the bar and I figured that might make it bearable. I love me some dive bars but this was pretty dismal. I ordered my standard, a g&t, and they didn’t have any limes. What kind of ass-​backwards bar doesn’t have limes or even lemons?! My friend ordered a gin and juice and they didn’t have juice either! Needless to say, I don’t think either of us will be going back.

Worst bar in Columbus. you have to flush the toilet with a bucket. only go there if you want to f****** be grossed out.

This place is a dump, which I could care less about if the fat blonde behind the bar wasn’t such a rude piece of crap. Take your $ elsewhere!

Total townie bar — but the bartenders don’t give a shit if you’re a local or not, the lady had my drink served quickly, and I don’t think I ever had to turn around — she was always right there checking on our table (the table of five, with a group of us it was about twenty, including the people at the bar).
Great service with a smile!

My beer was skunky, and the place was dead.

Great place for beer and games. Porter’s has a pool table, four dart boards, and an Indiana Jones pinball machine.

My love for townie bars is everlasting, and Porter’s is a great addition to the ‘hood. Situated slightly north of Clintonville in a location that has been several things in the past couple years, including most recently a pretty decent Mexican restaurant, this lil’ gem really works as a bar — and I think it will do well. The boy and I went to see our friend’s band play here last weekend, and had ourselves a great time. But just so you know, the five stars are based on this being a great townie bar — so don’t go into reading this with any expectation other than that.
We walked into Porter’s a little before 9pm, since our friend’s set started early — and it was already packed, which is a great sign for a place like this, which has been several other things before it was a pub. A word of warning — the well bourbon here is Old Crow, and even we draw the line there, so ended up drinking Beam instead. Keeping it classy, we also enjoyed a plethora of Miller lites, until the bar ran out circa closing time, when we switched to High Life — but while ze boy noted that they had a wide variety of imported bottles — this place has NO draught beer. However, the bartender, a lovely, down to earth lady, was perfectly wonderful to us all night.
The patrons included a woman sitting at the bar in her OSU pajamas, a woman with Very Bleached Hair who kept almost passing out at the bar, and many, many moustached gentlemen in Nascar and/​or denim shirts who kept telling me I smelled nice and standing too close to me when I’d get in line to get us beers (leading to the boy finally opting to be the one to get us beers). Also, there was definitely a balding gray haired gentleman with a ponytail (yes, you read that correctly) who kept dancing with every new single lady in his age range that walked in — and there seemed to be a steady supply of them for this casa nova — his rhythm was terrrrible and he was amazing to watch because the ladies were just soooo taken by him. I swear to god he had to have been asking them what their (astrological) sign was. I took to referring to him as «Age of Aquarius.» He is undoubtedly a regular fixture here. And good for him. I saw him leaning against the bar talking to a hippie mama as we left when the bar was closing — no doubt discussing how he followed the Dead in ’76 or something. But his moves — oh, his moves! You get yours, Age! Yeah, it was THAT kind of party.
It should also be noted that because of the (awesome) band who were playing here, some of Columbus’s more legendary and well known musicians and music elite showed up while we were there — meaning Porter’s hosted some of Cbus’s finest as well, whether any of the regulars knew this or not. I thought that was pretty cool.
Oh, and TeeJaye’s is on the way home… at least if you live heading back south toward Columbus — so you really can’t lose out here. Porter’s Pub FTW!