Fast & Easy Mart No 22

My friend wanted a Redbull so we walked over to this little janky liquor store (open 24 hours) across the street from Black Bear Diner.
She changed her mind and decided to get some coffee instead. Thinking it was a self-​serve coffee machine, my friend pressed a button, to which the store owner/​clerk approached her and started yelling at her, saying things like «What are you doing? What are you even thinking? Why do you not even think to ask me first??!» while pointing to his head as if my friend had a problem. Seriously bro? Chill out — it was an honest mistake. There was no need to scream at her.
Aside from the terrible service, everything is overpriced and probably past its best-​by date (I’m looking at you, Cherry Coke). The one time that I did find unexpired soda, it came out flat (how??!).
If you really don’t care for service, prices or quality, then this place is definitely «fast and easy» and super sleazy.

I love you, Fast N Easy. The only place I can get a pack of smokes downtown at 12am.
If I walk in drunk or sober, at 2am or 2pm, it’s the same semi-​condescending look every time. No judgment here, just a consistent slight disdain regardless of your color, sobriety, or gender. :’)

Terrible customer service. TERRIBLE. Very rude workers. One guy ignores you and talks on the phone the entire time while he rings you up. The other one is worse… Just today I went in to try out their slushy, and I didn’t want to stick my fingers in it, so I used a cup to taste it (it was disgusting so I didn’t get one).When I went to go pay for the drink I decided to buy instead, the worker yelled at me to buy the cup I threw away for $ 2 and threatened to call the cops. Are you KIDDING ME? Terrible.

Really expensive comparing with other places. They rise the prices for special occasions like picnic day or similar. Very unfriendly staff. I won’t go again.

King Boss, Little Boss, & Purple-​Lipped Boss are the 3 guys who run this place, if you have been, you may understand what I mean… This place is first degree price discrimination at it’s finest. The big hairy guy, King Boss, who I am assuming is the owner because he is there 24/​7, loves to make prices up. No price tags will be found in this establishment and depending upon the temprature outside, or how much he is sweating all over the counter, the prices seem to rise or fall. Still it is the best place if you live downtown to get a late night 40oz or some Peanut M&M’s. Plus, if you get on their good side the prices tend to fall within the same range everytime you go in.

$ 5 for a small GatorAid and Twix. Not Cool. I’m thoroughly unimpressed with this place’s lack of summer air conditioning and price gouging. Sleazy.

I won’t go into details about what the college crowd calls this place (It rhymes with «easy» and consequently also insinuates one might be. ok ok ok we call it the fast&sleazy) but it is nonetheless a staple when you’re on or near campus and need to grab whatever your vice (Beer, Wine, Smokes, Energy Drinks. Marley Mellow Tea in my case). To be honest I don’t visit that often and the people (person?) who work there have remained relatively mute during my visits.

Typical exchange with my college roommate/​friend Corey:
«Dude, I really want some ice cream,» I would say rubbing my beer gut while I picked my next play on Madden.
«I am always down for ice cream,» Corey would say, trying to look over at my controller to steal my next play.
«Okay, let’s finish this game and then we’ll go get some Choco Tacos or something,» I would say smiling knowing that I was about score.
«Sure, and whoever loses this game, drives to the store and pays for the ice cream.»
«Sure. I guess you’re driving and paying.»
«Whatever.»
“Whatever this, sucka! TOUCHDOWN! In yo’ face, bia***! You ain’t got nothin’, on me son!” I would yell as I danced around in the living room.
«That play was total bull****! No way Garcia can throw 45 yards off his backfoot like that!» He would yell throwing his controller.
«Here let me show you the instant replay. You see that? Garcia to Owens. Perfect spiral, baby!»
«Horsesh**! I hate this game!»
Anyway, we would end up going to” Fast and Easy” Mart since they carried Choco Tacos.
He would pull up the store and I would say:
«Oh wow, Corey. They named this liquor store after your mom.»
I miss college.
I also miss buying forties from here. Well, my friends would buy forties and I would buy a 32-​ounce Mike’s Hard Lemonade. We would then walk to the local party, brown bagging our beverages, and every girl wanted to take a sip from what I was brown bagging (drinking).
The best part was that I could reuse the bag later. Either a girl could put her puke in it or put their head in it.
Bow-​Wow-​Chicka-​Bow-​Wow!

Basically a sleaze place to buy beer and chips. Standard spot for frat boys to buy their weekend drinks.

Turn on the air conditioning, or just stop stocking candy bars altogether!
In fall and winter, the Snickers bars here all feel like Baby Ruths because they decomposed in summer heat, and then recomposed, and they are also full of dioxin from the wrapper.

Fast and Sleazy

this place has everything you could need at a corner store: beer, wine, chips, and cigarettes. the counter guys are great when you get to know them. i’ve lived around the corner from here for over two years, and they are never surprised by anything i’ve bought. this is including the time i brought my underage friend in and we carried out four bottles of green boone’s farm. they were, however, surprised to find out that i’m not indian.