Channel 955 – WKQI

I love channel 95.5. If you want to win a contest, or laugh your butt off, this is the station for you! They do pranks, hilarious stunts, and giveaway concert tickets for artists like Justin Timberlake and Alicia Keys. They’re located in Farmington Hills so they’re not too far out. Give it a listen if you like pop, rap, or alternative music.

I really don’t prefer to listen to Channel 955. I will only listen to the station if I’m flipping through channels and a song comes up that I like. Otherwise, I try to avoid the DJs as much as possible and switch to something else.
Channel 955 has been a fairly long standing radio station in Detroit. It was the destination for dance, club and hip-​hop music for years. Now that Amp and The Beat have brought some serious competition (and play almost the exact same stuff) there is no real reason for me to listen to 955.
My biggest problem is with the morning show. I know a lot of people who like the show, and I don’t think it’s done poorly, but the subject matter doesn’t interest me. I really don’t like such segments as «War of the Roses» where the radio station staff tries to catch someone cheating by seeing who they want to give flowers to. I’m not going to be sanctimonious and say how horrible this is. I just don’t think it’s funny and I feel bad for the people involved. For me it’s not the way I want to start out in the morning.

Meh! I’ve experienced better. A bunch of immature radio personalities, the same repetitive, tired top 40 pop & hip-​hop. It’s like a small iPod playlist of top 40 songs on repeat — with the incessant chatter of nimbeciles in between. Also, notice how they speed up the tempo of music just so they can get more ads in. Any audiophile can tell Channel 955 is notorious for this. They could take a few pointers from better stations like Chicago’s B96, NYC’s Hot 97, heck I even heard a better station in Toledo, Ohio on the way to Cedar Point! Go figure. And I know that new Amp Radio 98.7 is in the Detroit market now. They are the same shit, just a different toilet. So no, I didn’t make the «switch.» Seeing as Motown has such a rich history of music, it is kind of sad to see such a big name in music be so lackluster in what it plays or puts out there. Big thumbs down! I have yet to hear a respectable top40/​hip-​hop station in Detroit.

If I wanted to hear a group of nimrods talk about Lady Gaga’s nether regions first thing in the morning I’d go back to 6^th grade, not listen to Mojo in the Morning. If I wanted to witness people get cut off by a cocky, incompetent mama’s boy with a bad speech impediment, I’d drive down I-​696 midday, not listen to «Beau» in the afternoon as he asks listeners to call in with their (probably more educated) opinions. If I wanted to hear the worst music under the sun I’d go to any club in Pontiac during «Sexy Sundays» or «Thirsty Thursdays,» not turn on the radio.
Basically, this station is horrible and sadly there really are people who appreciate the ridiculous antics that take place on it. They play a rotation of about 25 autotuned songs, and the rest of the time they talk about garbage. It actually hurts to turn it on, so I don’t. I used to work in an office where the dipsh*ts I worked with insisted on listening to this, apparently they can’t get enough of «ella ella boi boi boi» coming out of Rihanna’s mouth 36 times a day. *Dramatic sigh…*
For a good morning show, turn on Dave and Chuck the Freak on 89x. For good music, turn on 89X, 101.1, 94.7 or 93.1. Avoid 95.5 (er, excuse me… CHANNEL-​NINE-​FIVE-​FIVE) at all costs.

Yikes. You want to find the source of the corruption of today’s average youth into promiscuous pre-​teens and wannabe thugs? 955 is the archetype of mass media’s arm extending to our innocuous children, feeding them an unyielding supply of mainstream drivel of the lowest common denominator.
Immature radio personalities signify the majority of the line-​up, taking calls from cretins requesting mainstream rap and the same tired, overplayed pop songs that are slowly converging to become the cornerstone music of today’s generation. If you want to listen to half decent hip-​hop tune to HOT 102.7; if you want to torture yourself with ‘Lil Wayne’s nasal whine, Lady Gaga’s attention whore antics, and whatever other flavor-​of-​the-​week crap they can muster, 955 is the station for you!
Finally, I must mention the radio station’s dedicated DJs, the «Bomb Squad». Amateurish jockeys who frequent popular local venues, oppressing the crowd with fleeting mixtapes: awkwardly brief samples of all of the same popular blather which we could only hope to be desensitized to by now. It can’t be avoided. Assimilation is imminent.

Dear Channel 955,
Thank you for hiring the greatness that is Mojo, Spike, and Shannon. Thankfully, the suits at this station allow these fantastical people to wake me up every morning rather than have me use the «alarm» setting on my clock radio — which explains the rather large dent in my wall from throwing it. Now, I no longer hit snooze about 8 times in a row but sometimes set my radio to wake up earlier just to get a good laugh in before getting ready for the day.
I never once thought I’d enjoy sitting in bumper to bumper, totally halted, not going anywhere for hours morning traffic. This delay in traffic allows me to listen longer. This therefore, in turn, allows me to yell at my boyfriend after listening to War of the Roses and blame him for all the shady things men do. I know he appreciates it.
These guys taking up 5 hours of radio time every morning makes my life that much better that day by starting it off with lots of laughs. Or, in the very least, irritated about something that I therefore, somehow, and inevitably blame my boyfriend for because these guys are so awesome they should remain blameless.
There’s something about a morning phone scam that makes one sit back in your seat going «wow, I’m glad I haven’t peeved someone off enough to set me up for one of these.» Or how about Shannon’s Dirty on the 30? I love hearing about the train wreck of a life celebrities lead because I always think «wow, that time I got schwasted, stripped off my clothes and danced on a table, and then left with a 400 lb foreigner» doesn’t look so bad now!
Thank you Clear Channel for Channel 955!!!
Sincerely,
Cranky, lovable, NOT a morning person listener
In all seriousness … Channel 955 is the greatest thing in my morning, and they should be yours’ too. After Mojo in the Morning, which ends at 10, they are followed by a string of great radio personalities. Then there is Buda. I would normally knock them a star for having hired him in the first place, but currently during the 7:00 slot of the show they are giving away Lady GaGa tickets I desperately want. Therefore, I’ll let Buda slide — for now.
Listen to Channel 955, NOW! They are the best radio station in the Detroit area — that is a fact. :-)