Portola Dining Commons

today the food at portola was my favorite meal ever. it was so freaking bomb!!!111!!11! I ate some of the rice and it was so good, I was like «GG.» but where were the cheetos? lulz. s/​o to calvin.

Portola will never disappoint. Only the absolute danks. I would recommend this fine eatery to all locals and even those just visiting Isla Vista. Best grass-​fed burgers and onion rings of all time. Period.

Dear portola, my experience with you is something like a stale marriage. Sure things were great when I got here in the beginning of the year, you were keeping things fresh and exciting but just because you’re still here everyday doesn’t mean the love is. We deserve a better you.

I didn’t understand what good food was until I ate at Portola. I would happily choose Portola’s expertly cooked al dente pasta and luscious, tender steak over home cooked food and any other restaurant in Isla Vista. If you are even considering fine dining, look no further, for Portola is the pinnacle of culinary excellence. I only wish I could stay at UCSB during the summer, just so I could eat at Portola. Portola consistently presents delicious and aesthetically pleasing platters of nutritious food to the privileged residents of Santa Catalina hall. I would say that Gordon Ramsey should come to work at Portola, but I’m afraid he would be under qualified and ashamed of his own culinary failures as compared to the haute cuisine served by Portola’s chefs every single day. Portola is my favorite aspect of UCSB, if you are an on campus student here, the bike ride over to Portola is not only well worth it, but practically irrelevant when you consider the luxurious and reasonably priced cuisine that is served here. I encourage anyone who appreciates good food to eat at Portola and be stunned by the food, friendly staff, and ambience that exists here.

Epiphanies are defined as «moments of sudden revelations or insights,» fantastic junctures in which one’s very outlook on life can be changed. While many are unable to claim having experienced this phenomenon, I can safely say that dining at the Portola Commons has «epiphanied» me. Upon first glance, the place seems rather unassuming, with its clear, stainless-​steel bordered doors. However, after entering, one is pleasantly surprised by a delightful combination of proper lighting, sartorial diners, and thoughtful architecture. Concurrently, the unmitigated aromas of culinary sin waft into one’s nostrils. Five steps in and recently-​cooked meats and freshly-​prepared vegetables jut out like an adolescent’s erection. Surrounding these are desserts of multifarious flavor and type, each decadent and delicious in their own right. At this point, the diner experiences an unprecedented sensory overload, demanding that he/​she/​xhe rest for a moment on one of the commons’ luxuriously comfortable chairs. However, the diner does not realize that, beyond the chasm in which dirty dishes are dumped, an entire second section exists, a cosmopolitan hot-​pot that tends to feature delicacies from Meheeco and the Orient. ⁹⁄₁₀ would definitely eat here again

portoilet

I love Portola. It is the bae. I wish they did catering so they could cater to my wedding.

If only the restaurants back at home tasted more like portolla. Guys, lets be real, ft has the best food! I wish I could live at ft all 4 years, just because of the food. Ill be so depressed next year when I gotta go to… carillo.