Billiard Factory

«Midnight Moan of The Lair»
I have a formal dining room/​living room in my home (aka The Lair).
I hate formal dining and living. It’s pretentious and anal.
So the room stayed empty.
For over a year.
That made The Lair moan at night, sometimes for hours, aching for its hole to be filled.
I’m usually quite adept at filling vacant spaces, especially those moaning for me to do so, but this one had me scratching my head – a fate more painful than you might imagine.
Yet serendipity has pervaded my life since youth, and it befell me yet again one chilly afternoon as I was driving my Crown Vic LX with leather interior.
I had been on my way to my favorite pizza joint when I saw a building on my right.
It was your typical Vegas strip mall: lifeless, mass-​produced stucco with a bad case of the uglies. But the sign overhead beckoned brightly with tacky, over-​used neon seen everywhere in this So Faux city I call home.
Billiard Factory.
I must have been 20 miles from The Lair but I heard her screaming with desire.
«Yes, Michael! Yes! Oh, yes! Give it to me now! Oh, pleeeeaaassse you incredible man, pleeeeaaassse!»
I hit the brakes of the Crown Vic LX with leather interior and parked in the dusty lot.
Inside the Building Ugly was lots of cool bling for people who hate formality.
Pool tables. Air-​hockey. Dartboards. Foosball. Poker tables. Cocktail tables. Bar stools. Ping pong tables.
Sticks, balls, paddles, powder, chalk.
The Mother Lode.
I already knew what I wanted.
I’ve always known.
Ever since I worked in that poolhall in Philly.
Thy name is Olhausen, and she is nine-​feet long and made in America, baby.
From there it was just a matter of details, and I hashed those out with the polite but no B.S. manager, Robert.
Hampton model, please. Green wool cloth. Leather thong drop-​pocket. Maple wood. Extra wide handrails. Mahogany finish. Tapered legs. Plain diamonds. Top-​of-​the-​line cushions.
Balls, four cues, chalk, racks, bridge – all included.
200 bucks for installation.
We struck a deal for the inch-​of-​slate beauty and I handed him the Mastercard.
Six weeks later they arrived on a Saturday, my custom made sex pistol ready for assembly.
Two men worked quickly and efficiently. Ninety minutes later she was done. More important, done RIGHT.
She looks beautiful in her room, even moreso with the light, furniture, and stereo.
That first night I slept not a wink, for The Lair howled with pleasure at being filled with such massive love.
Ah, memories.
Sigh.
Sometimes I miss The Lair’s late-​night moans, yet I sleep better knowing I have sated her desires.
If only for a while…

They have darts and supplies and are really nice to work with! I recommend stopping by and checking out not just the wall but also check out the glass cabinet for more in darts!