Hostess

Hostess, they were fab
wonder bread, twinkles, flings, ding dongs
ate them all, made be glad.
nagging thoughts of obesity, strokes made me sad.
no idea why hostess is bleeding red.
–is it exorbitant executive pay?
–funding employee layaways?
–america’s desire to live, not be dead?
twinkles may technically die soon
no need to be overcome with swoon
twinkles will be born again
to clog arteries again and again.

Twinkies and Ho-​Hos might be a thing of the past, but the world will always have plenty of Ding Dongs!
The Company that makes Hostess products may or may not go out of business, but I’m sure that the brand will live on through another owner. Some view this latest turn of events as a Union environment gone wrong, complete with stories of multiple people being required to load trucks and deliver product. My gut tells me that poor management and questionable investment games (at worker expense) have predicable negative consequences.
My first introduction to Hostess Products was the «Day Old» Bread Store located in my home town of Estherville Iowa. My Grandfather was notoriously frugal, and this is where he went and on the way to his gasoline station business just a few doors down. Since I really didn’t know any other way, these bakery items tasted pretty good to me, and I totally bought into the «Helps Build Srong Bodies 12 Ways» Wonder Bread jingle. That was until I woke up one day to discover that ordering a Corned Beef Sandwich on white bread with mayo was considered to be taboo in the Jewish Deli World!
In between, I often bought an occasional package of small powdered donuts, Twinkies, or Hostess Cup Cakes, until I felt that the price wasn’t worth the baked goodness that I was receiving. It’s still great junk food, but in Northern California the Local Bakeries are so good that there’s no reason to snack on this stuff anymore.

HATERS GOTTA HATE…
and some people are just B*tches and got nothing better to do but FLAG others reviews… Unilocal guidelines My A$$
Hi Pancho,
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I’ve read in the WSJ about the greedy unions, and then read about all the staff bonuses in Business Week.
I also read about how the baker’s union didn’t want to give any concessions after the Teamsters agreed to a 17% give back (about $ 110 million annually according to Forbes). I’ve also read how the leverage buyout (LBO) group added $ 890 million in debt.
On a personal note, I also have a dear friend who’s well known cookie business failed three years ago because sugar prices more then doubled domestically and he didn’t want to move his business to Mexico to take advantage of the lower world sugar price. That’s because US sugar subsidies are substantial.
So in the end, it sounds like everyone loses. Or, maybe not. Reuters has reported that: «Bimbo Bakeries USA, a division of Mexico-​based Grupo Bimbo, and Pepperidge Farm, a division of Campbell Soup Co, were considered prospective buyers.»
You can read more here:

It has not been too long since I had a Twinkie. A coworker gave it to me as well as a Ding Dong. I had a flooding of memories of when I was a kid and wanted Twinkies all of the time. My brother was a Ding Dong man. I ate the Twinkie because I was hungry but WOW! is there a lot of sugar in that stuff! I felt nauseated from the sugar afterwards. I ate the Ding Dong the next day, thinking that my stomach was having an off day. Same thing. Way too much sugar for a grown man. I still bought Hostess fruit pies of my own free will but oddly enough I am not too sure I will miss Hostess all that much. Maybe it will be one of those things that once it is gone we will all miss it.
I personally think we should support our independently owned bakeries. Many of these places have a better conscious as to what is better for them to eat when it comes to pastries.
I don’t really have too much else to add other than these so called pastries are iconic to our country we are probably better off without them.
I will go ahead and paste a Facebook status of mine that covers the rest…
I got some random thoughts and ideas with this whole Hostess/​Twinkie/​Ding Dong thing.1) Before I start cracking jokes I will make my serious point. I feel really bad for all of the people who got laid off at Hostess. The economy is still very weak and this does not help things at all. The holidays are right around the corner to boot! The workers are going to suffer the worst. The CEO can retire if they choose. I am sure they have plenty of their own money to live on. The cloud in the silver lining is if they do retire they wont be making decisions that would lead another company to bankruptcy.2) On a more humorous side I am wondering how much hoarders will ask for Twinkies on EBay? I collect many things but I am glad I do not collect discontinued food product.3) If Andy Warhol were alive perhaps he would have done a sequel to his Campbell’s Soup painting and would have done a painting of a Twinkie or the Twinkie Man himself.4) Fear not, Hostess products like Twinkies and Ding Dongs will return. Not only do they have the longevity of cockroaches but they are too iconic. Copyright garbage may still be a factor but Twinkies can outlast even a copyright dispute!5) I am sure there are kids out there that are upset that Twinkies are no more. They will take it the hardest. Some may equate it to Christmas being cancelled. Take them to independently owned bakeries and get them hooked on donuts there. Support small businesses! Twinkies will indeed make a return if there is enough demand for it. It is similar to when people wanted the zebra striped gum back. It returned, so will Twinkies.

I suppose it’s a slice of Americana.
Not the good kind though.
Goodbye food that is not food.
(What is everybody so messed up about? These hockey pucks will still be lining the shelves for decades. They are the anti-​food. They cannot die!)

I have absolutely no sentimental attachment to this stuff and so the outpouring of grief over the demise of Hostess mystifies me. My mom coined the word «kvatchy» to describe the texture of Wonder Bread. I may have tasted one Hostess cupcake. Because I’ve always been partial to chocolate over any other flavor of sweets, Twinkies never interested me. I still remember seeing Sno Balls in the market as a child and being repulsed by their pink and white marshmallow coating covered w/​coconut, to the point where I never knew until I looked them up just now to check the spelling that there was chocolate cake inside. I’ve never tasted Ho-​Hos or Ding Dongs. And I can live the rest of my life w/​o regret that I never will.

It doesn’t have to end this way!
As of this typing there are at least two petitions posted to the White House public petitions portal purportedly by people perplexed and perturbed by the passing of the popular pastry producer.
2,343 electronic signatures on the petition to rescue and nationalize Hostess, fewer on the petition to ban the union leader blamed for the demise from the White House itself. As if he was a regular guest. I don’t see Mr. Snack Cake Union Guy and Michelle having a ton in common but I’ve been wrong before maybe her drive to enrich our supper tables owes to some secret family Twinkie infatuation.
This is serious!
If we hurry we might be able to grab a pallet or two at a big box store before they’re gone for good (I’m not holding out a ton of hope for the nationalize-​Hostess thing really going anywhere). They stay fresh forever.
I ate the pies as a kid. I still eat the pies. I can get them (could get them) for 75 pennies at the bodega downstairs from my house. A pie and a glass of milk is a pretty sweet way to end the day. I don’t care what they’re made of. They make my face happy. How many things these days make our faces consistently happy?
Not many.
I’ll leave it to the talking heads to peel the onion that is the demise of companies like this and globalization and the little Southeast Asian children working like 20 hours a day making pies for offshore competitor pie companies earning only a penny a day or maybe even just being paid in pies.
This review is a more simple epitaph. Rest in peace Hostess. Thanks for making my face happy all these years.

I never really loved thee but I do remember you fondly from my childhood. Someone once told me that if you soaked a Twinkie in kerosene, you could light it for many hours before it burnt out. For those of you who will miss the Twinkies, I give you, the Cream Canoe:
Im Memoriam: