Americas Best Value Inn

I’d like to begin this review with the following exchange from the classic British comedy «Are You Being Served?».
Mrs. Slocombe: «Exactly how good is a one-​star hotel?»
Captain Peacock: «Can I put it to you this way: There is no such thing as a no-​star hotel.»
I booked this hotel knowing that it was indeed called «America’s Best Value Inn», that the rates were so ridiculously low that there was no way the quality could match, and knowing that the property had been around since I was a child and that it wasn’t all that great then. In other words: I set the bar ridiculously low. And yet, they redefined a low bar.
After checking in, I was greeted that a room that was decorated in contemporary 1970’s décor (which is odd since the hotel wasn’t built until the 80’s). I pulled the curtain closed, and the rod immediately came off in my hands. Clearly, I do not know my own strength.
The furniture looked like it had been purchased at the Jonesboro Goodwill — with scratches, dents, and even screw holes in the top of the main cabinet. The TV was an HD tube TV — I’m not sure if that’s good or bad, to be quite frank.
The bed itself had a main blanket with holes in it. The pillows were nothing more than air-​filled fabric pouches that had been compressed down so much — that they resembled seat cushions you find at the football game.
Oh, and hey, let’s go to the sink area — where there were 3 appliances (a coffee maker, microwave, and fridge), yet only 2 plugs. Rather than spend $ 5 on a new power tap, one appliance was simply left unpowered. I’m sure I could have plugged in a power tap myself, but that would have likely triggered a fire. (A side note: the fridge was resting ON TOP of the vanity, which is about as unstable as it sounds.)
The shower did work — yay — but I was amused that instead of little shampoo bottles, they doled out pre-​packed shampoo packets that had enough shampoo for half of my head. The wallpaper in the bathroom was peeling, and the lights didn’t do much to light the room at all.
Free wifi was promised, but I only found the router to connect to once (out of about a half dozen tries), and the connection was so slow that it wasn’t worth the effort.
Look, here’s the bottom line — I understand that some places are going to be cheap and crappy — and that’s to be accepted. The main problem here is that any or all of these issues could have been solved a long time ago, without much expense. This hotel had a major case of «don’t cares» — as in – nobody involved with the hotel seems to have put any time and effort into the place’s upkeep. Honestly, that’s a worse crime to me than simply bad service. I’m just a guy writing a cutting and snarky Unilocal review who didn’t like things and probably won’t be back. I fear that if somebody were to flat-​out lose it on them, they wouldn’t have a leg to stand on.
If the owners are reading this — please — give a damn about your property, or at least pretend like you do. There are more lodging options popping up in Jonesboro every day, and 0-​occupancy rates don’t pay the bills.