Tommy T’s Hamburgers & Malts

I found myself alone and hungry in downtown Parkville on Saturday. Not having been around the area in ages, and with the Power Plant no more and the Mexican restaurant inside a train car metamorphosed into an «American Bistro,» I settled on Tommy T’s. I wouldn’t say it was disastrous, but it was vaguely unfortunate.
The place is first and foremost an ice cream joint. Had I gone with ice cream, maybe I’d have been better off. Instead, I tempted fate and went for the Super Dog, a ¹⁄₃ pound sausage with your choice from a laundry list of possible toppings. The list included kraut, onion, chili, cheddar, BBQ sauce, tomato, banana peppers, jalapeño, and I can’t remember what else. The lady working the counter seemed mildly surprised when I said I wanted everything, but didn’t charge me any extra. I added a chocolate malt and was advised to have a seat.
Ten minutes later, after hearing a microwave stop and start at least three times, I was brought the Super Dog, completely smothered in crap – which was the idea. My expectations were extremely low by that point, but fortunately it exceeded my expectations and was not only edible, but kind of tasty. However, the uneven heat of the microwave meant that there were some parts hot enough to blister my mouth, and others merely cool to lukewarm. The chili was depressingly bland and some of the beans were like ice cubes. Most of the dog’s flavor ended up coming from the kraut, banana pepper, and jalapeño, all of which as it turned out were pickled. So I ended up with a big, sour, unevenly warmed sausage. It wasn’t awful, but it seems like a higher inventory turnover would allow them to, say, keep the chili on a steam table or in a crock pot.
The malt was just bad, though. It tasted fine, but was filled with weird chunks of ice which made it seem as though the ice cream had been allowed to melt and had then been re-​frozen before being processed into my drink. I know, because I’ve made the mistake of letting ice cream melt and then putting it back in the freezer. If you’ve never made this mistake, don’t do it. And if you do, don’t try to make a malt out of it and sell it for five bucks.