Zenas

I’ve been staying at the hotel/​conference center for three nights now, totally exhausted from an academic research trip at the university (and it’s way too cold to go outside!). The perfect solution to this would be to call room service, but there is consistently NO ANSWER. I’d love to be able to give this place a review, but unfortunately, I’ve been unable to try it yet – so the review does not reflect the food, but merely the nonexistent service I have no good things to say about.
Day 1 (Sunday). Call at 8:43, no answer. Call at 9:17, no answer. Call at 9:26, told that room service closed at 9pm (despite the fact that the in-​room menu insists it closes at 10). Whatever. Long travel day, order pizza elsewhere.
Day 2 (Monday). Call room service at 6:23, no answer. Think I might go down for happy hour, grudgingly, since I’m tired and annoyed by a very long work day but at least maybe I won’t have to go outside. Arrive, there is no one there – no customers, no hostess, no waitstaff – no thanks! Walk to Walgreen’s (6 degrees F), buy wine. Eat leftover pizza.
Day 3 (Tuesday). Loooong day sciencing; out of pizza (ate last slice standing up between reagent swaps). Call room service at 5:49, no answer. 6:14, no answer. Go downstairs at 6:37, annoyed I have to put on pants again. Wait at hostess stand for 9 minutes, tapping my foot as the lone waitress waits on a 4-​top, while making a concerted effort to not make eye contact with me and rapidly disappears. A nice young hotel employee asks if I’d like him to find someone for him, but at this point, it’s become far too awkward and uncomfortable to bother.
Now it’s a balmy 14 degrees out, so I’m gonna put on every single item of clothing I brought with me in a desperate search for sustenance. Thanks for nothing, Zena’s!