Caffe Joy

I haven’t actually been here before, but I can say that after living 30 seconds away (requiring me to pass by here every time I go anywhere), I have never seen 1 customer there, or anyone else for that matter. Ever. And that’s five and a half years of living here. I dont think it’s anything but plywood, fencing and a sign now.

Dear «Caffe Joy» or to whom it may concern,
Congrats on the new ownership! I noticed you did not have a Unilocal listing yet. I think it’s important for a successful business to have one, so I’ve taken the liberty of creating one for you.
I wanted to share an objective account of my experience this morning and perhaps offer some constructive criticism.
At 8:40am I proceeded to order a venti soy chai latte and a poppy seed muffin, (assuming fluency in coffee-​speak, one can assume the term generally refers to a «large» or more specifically, 20 ounces.) I was somewhat concerned by the lack of cognitive recognition the barista displayed, however she turned around and began to prepare my order which led me to believe we had effectively communicated.
Approximately 8:45am: A small or «tall» sized beverage was placed on the counter along with the muffin. Willing to overlook the size mix up, I opened my wallet and asked how much I owed her. The following conversation took place:
Barista, in a blank stare with eyes glazed over– «Twelve dollars.»
Me– «I’m sorry? Did you say twelve dollars?»
Barista– «Yes»
Me, pointing to my tiny drink and prepackaged muffin– «Twelve dollars… for this and this?»
Barista, maintaining awkward, glossy eye contact– «Yes.»
Me-“How much is this latte?“
Barista, looking as if I’d asked her to recite the periodic table of elements– «…Four… thirty.»
Me-«And this muffin?»
Barista– «…Two… seventy-​five.»
Me– «So together that equals twelve?»
Barista– «Yes.»
We held each other’s gaze for about 5 seconds, mine questioning what combination of medication has caused this to make sense in her head right now; her’s reading absolutely nothing. It was like I was talking to Rainman, except she couldn’t add for shit. I told her I’d pass on the muffin, her response being an exasperated «Oh my God…» to which I replied, «Ya know what, here’s a five, have a great day.»
8:52am: Back in my car, thoroughly confused as to what just happened, I take a sip of my soy chai latte and– but of course– it’s regular coffee and milk.
Now, I know that was a lot to take in. Hopefully moving forward you can implement some sort of zero-​tolerance drug policy, or at the very least encourage taking a day off when normal social functioning is debilitated. Because even though Caffe Joy is only 30 seconds from my house, Starbucks is only another 45.
Sincerely,
Rachel (newly converted Starbucks enthusiast)