John and Larissa’s Douchebag Bar Crawl

John told me I was never here. This was last month’s bar crawl. I’m certain it was still a five star event though. I’m not deleting my review!

I’m giving it three stars because it wasn’t super douchey and I had a good time!
The District wasn’t too bad. I liked hanging out there and talking to people. Barcadia wasn’t horrible. I would actually like to go sometime and play some games. Maybe in order to accomplish that I should go during the day. Ernst Café was interesting as always. I wish I could have stayed out longer. I would have loved to have made it to Red Eye.

«That John and Larissa sure know how to plan award winning events! They are not only incredible Unilocalers, they are phenomenal people.»
I wont tell you who uttered that quote, but I will say that they are quite famous. Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, I will resume my review.
The douchebag bar crawl required an enormous amount of planning. Multiple field excursions were taken, high powered planning dinners conducted, and a plethora of messages were sent back and forth all to plan for this one night. The planning sure paid of and this turned out to be the second best bar crawl ever conducted.
The bars were amazingly douchey. At the District one member of our party wasn’t even able to make it fully through the door before being accosted by two douchey bros vying for her attention. After seeing that, I knew we had picked locations wisely.
Barcadia was filled with douches, but not the predatory variety. The same could not be said for Lucy’s. That tiny bar was packed wall to wall with predatory douchebags. If you’re a lady and need a self esteem boost, head to Lucy’s and douche after douche will use his best line.
In the end, the best part of the bar crawl was the time spent at Rusty Nail and Brothers Three. I realize those aren’t douchey bars, but even our seasoned group of bar crawlers needed a break after a while. Speaking of our group, everyone who came out for this one was awesome.
If you have yet to come to a UYE, stop thinking about it, and get your ass to the next one.

I was debating 2 stars but I loved all the douchettes (spl?) that came out that night! Plus it’s my unbirthday and I’ll douche if I want to, gross! Way too much…
The District started the night on a mild note. I came hungry, but I refuse to get food here. Beer selection is good though.
Lucy’s = charlie foxtrot. Like little sardines in a can. At least on the way there I got to try Mande’s favorite wine.
To Barcadia! Dolly Parton pinball is always exciting. Still hungry…
Ernst, yay food! Also this bar is actually cool. We are at max capacity for the evening.
Coming in hot to the Red Eye. It was a hot mess. You card me but not the «21» year old in front of me, darn…
Rusty Nail = always a yes.
Brothers III, I’m sleepy.
I had to shower when I got home. En français, douche.

This sure as hell lived up to*all* expectations. John and Larissa really did outdo themselves with providing us with prime DB picks in the Warehouse District. Actually, what really was so great about this crawl was the attention to detail. As in, when Larissa realized that I was about to start dry heaving in Red Eye, she hastily suggested a change of pace and a trip to a decidedly way less DB bar, Rusty Nail, which was my favorite portion of the evening. It was a nice night and there was room for us to sit on the patio by heated lamps. Yep, now that I had gotten my fill of DBs by that point, I was D-​O-​N-​E. Wow. I had no idea. This really opened my eyes to a scene in NOLA that I barely knew even existed.
And what better way to close the night than with a stop at a true dive bar with nary a single DB in sight (just lots and lots of oldish men who are polite and stick to their drink rather than devour you with their eyes). I’d rather rub elbows with one of these gents than a flirty whippersnapper any day of the week. See, you never know what surprises J&L have in store for you on one of their bar crawls. They’re experts!
John and Larissa, keep ‘em coming. You know I’ll be there because no matter what the bar, I have a great time because of the company. What else can I say? I suffered TJ Quills last year and Red Eye Grill last weekend for you. Bring it!

Once again I am the FTR on one of John’s UYEs. I’m so proud. I arrived to the party late… on bar #4 to be exact and I was grateful that it was one that served food since I was starving.
I tried to claim that I won the bar crawl since I was the last person standing at 5 am this morning. But Lindsay A corrected me and says she really wins since she was there first and only left about 30 minutes before me. So I concede the title to her.
The douchey bars were douchey. The company was fabulous and finished the night at Brothers III. Really what more could I want.