Highway 127 BP

Whew, the only station near Four Roses. I’m almost running on fumes. And I’m BP brand-​loyal. And wow, gas is cheap in rural Kentucky. My lucky day.
Ten pumps. Each with a hand-​lettered cardboard sign:
«Pump 3 & 4 Unleaded
Diesel – Pump 9″
Grr.
Maneuver over to Pump 3.
Swipe card.
Lift nozzle, push button for 93. Beep.
Push button for 93. Beep.
Push button for 93. Beep.
Enter station and approach clerk.
„Excuse me, I’m trying to use Pump 3 but it’s not working.“
„You want unleaded or diesel?“
„Unleaded. I keep pushing the button for 93 but nothing happens.“
„Well, you can’t use those buttons. You have to use the button for 87.“
[confused look]
„You want unleaded right? That’s 87.“
[decline to argue about the definition of ‘unleaded’]
„So there’s no pump here that can give me 93 octane?“
„No.“
“89?»
“Naw, we only have diesel and unleaded.“
[clench jaw and suppress a snide retort]
Return to Pump 3.
Reswipe card.
Push button for 87.
Grudgingly pour two gallons of rotgut into my poor thirsty darling.
Resume course.
Mentally flip the bird to Highway 127 BP.