Labcorp

So why would you sling five stars on someone who:
1) Pokes you in the arm with a sharp object,
2) Makes you wait for that privilege, AND
3) Charges $ 700 for a 10-​minute «service»?
«Um, idk: a hooker feeding your drug need who got caught in traffic?» (snicker, snicker…)
Read on: including you there with the bawdy retort …
Yeah — it’s the annual open enrollment rite of getting your blood work we’re talking about, of course. Our designated hitter is Labcorp. They have an online appointment system like Quest, and in many ways they are just like Quest. They open as early as 0600, with some offering Saturday service. Be forewarned: those early appointments go FAST, because everyone wants to get there early to their blood drawn after their overnight fast. This time of the year (November), you might need to get one a week or more in advance. I would not recommend going as a walk-​in even if you’re going to try them before they open — you COULD be there for a long time.
For me, what distinguished this from any like pedestrian encounter was one employee and an interesting situation.
In an encounter that channels a Larry-​David-​penned episode, I held the door for a gentleman going in, on the dot for my 0745 appointment. He nodded politely, but proceeded to sign in first! With no regrets, I looked to see what time his appointment was for — 0815! Dude was a half hour early! Hmm, I thought: would they reward him for his ‘good behavior’ arriving so bloody early, or would they take the guy who had the earlier appointment, but signed in after (albeit right at the appointed time)?
I had to wait 20 minutes to find out. I’d missed the part when I made the appointment that said you’re supposed to get there 15 minutes before your appointment — which is silly: why have an appointment time if it really isn’t your REAL appointment time?
As it turned out, the big AA teddy bear of a technician called MY name first. He was professional and friendly — beyond what you might expect at a place, and for a transaction, such as this. He chuckled when I told him about my little social experiment (more like observation). His technique was impeccable — barely felt a pinch.
The $ 700 comment? I don’t know whether they’re testing me for a rare disease or not, but my ‘bill’ totalled $ 687! (All to be born by the insurance coverage, one can only hope!) And sure, I know the real work is far more than the 30 minutes I spend there, but hey — ya gotta use hyperbole for a little levity!
I’m actually kind of curious, and hoping to see a Unilocal review from the half-​an-​hour-​early guy.

This is a dismal little office with stark pale blue walls, hard seats, and linoleum floors. You may have to wait a while, especially in the morning, but once you go back they are quick and efficient. I was sent to have some blood work done and waited about 20 minutes to be called. Once back in the lab I was put in a special chair where you can pass out and not fall to the floor. Luckily for me this wasn’t a problem. I gave my little vial sample and didn’t even feel woozy. The tech was nice and joked with us for the 2 minutes we were back there, then we were on our way. Getting blood taken is never fun but at least here the process is quick.