Depot Tires

Hello, baby. Yeah I’m talking to you. Why don’t you slide over here and let me bathe in your positive aura.
Mmm… mmm… My goodness. You’re smelling sweet today. Is that Channel No. 5 you’re wearing? If so, let me dial up my cable company on my blue tooth so I can get that station on my plasma. YouknowwhatI’msaying? Ha ha.
But I digress.
So peep this, baby. Let me tell you about Depot Tires.
One day, I was just cruising down the street in my ride (which if you play your cards right, you might be able to sit in with me)… bumping the dulcetto tunes of Al Green on my sound system… when suddenly I hear a little noise in my peripheral auditory lobe.
I pulled over to the side, smooth-​like, and took a look. And what did my eyes behold? A nail had penetrated one of my tires. Now a lesser man would’ve crumbled under such dire circumstances, but not yours truly. Composed, I scanned the horizon, much like the Tusken Raiders scanned the horizon on Tatooine looking for droids and stuff like that, and — lo and behold — I saw my salvation: Depot Tires.
I pulled up to the establishment and explained my predicament to the gentlemen working there. After a quick assessment, they pulled out the intruding nail for a nominal fee — and soon, I was able to go on my merry way… «I… I… I… I’m so in love with you…»
Three stars, baby. Now let’s talk about you. How was yo’ day? Mmm hmm… Is that right?..
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P. S. I apologize for the creepy tone of this review. Just trying something new — and it failed.: /