Lava Lounge

Descriptive phrase: worthless.
No. Just, no. I lived in Madison for 4 years and never came to this place nor ever heard of a single person who had. Now I know why.
Location: hidden off the main drag. Bouncer: really, for this place? Bartender: nice. Drinks: not as cheap as other places and much weaker. Patrons: townies and/​or creepy as all get-​out.
The décor was the only saving grace of this dive. They really went all out on trying to decorate the inside with tiki-​themed posters and idols and the like. But it just couldn’t overcome the other issues.
Oh, and did I mention that the entire place reeked. Like, seriously smelled like a toilet.
We couldn’t believe how bad it was. We literally made a promise never to return.

The Lava Lounge used to be cool, now it sucks hard.
Went last Friday at about 11pm. I knew we were in for trouble when I asked for one of their tap beers and he said that we couldn’t get anything on tap because his lines were being cleaned. No apologies, just in a snarky asshole tone. Maybe you should have planned ahead.
So we get the special of the night, pre-​mixed long islands. We sit down and want to listen to some music and are ready to feed the juke box, but no options on the screen. I ask the bartender about it. «We turn it off on the weekends», he says in a condescending, not giving a shit, way.
So we deal with Ke$ha and the litany of pap crap that ensues until we finish our drinks. This place used to be a haven from the frat boy/​sorority girl infestation downtown. Actually, the bar’s concept and Tiki-​theme is credited to Rob Zombie’s bassist. Sorry to say that Zombie’s bassist would be appalled now, vomit, and then leave and never come back.

I don’t go here often and with good reason — there doesn’t seem to be anything this bar offers that another place doesn’t do better. If I wanted to dance or act crazy — there is Brothers. If I want to sit outside — I’d goto Vintage or Johnny O’s. If I wanted a quieter place to sit down and talk — there is Red Shed, Segredo’s (cause its usually dead) or Blue Velvet. The drinks are OK, the bartenders are OK and its ok to stop on a bar crawl but not somewhere I stay for long.

I appreciate surly bartenders as much as the next person, but I’m sincere when I say, fuck the fucking Lava Lounge. What I once thought was an amazing respite from the campus crap that is located near University Ave, I have just realized is full of lame ass poseurs and bull shit bouncers. Case in point: my dear friend was assaulted today (by a bouncer) for insisting that he drink his drink he just paid for at 1:30 am, before legal bar time but after Lava Bar Time. Despite the fact that the regulars and employees, were allowed to finish and order more beverages, we were violently and rudely ushered outside. The bouncer, grabbed my dear friend by his arms, ripped his shirt, forced him to drop his drink and then threw him outside. The people outside assaulted him further until someone sober enough finally listened to us and realized that we were not drunks, just people who enjoy beer and unfortunately thought we should enjoy it at this odious establishment.
Fuck this place. Do not come here unless you enjoy being harassed, because you’re not a pierced tattooed regular.

The Lava Lounge always finds a way to hire surly bartenders. And I mean surly in the best possible sense. They hate frat boys and girls who dress up to go to a bar, people who order things like Raspberry Stoli or something that involves a blender.
I spent basically my whole senior year of college at this bar, and learned to love the surliness of all the staff, the cheap drinks, the regulars there with me at the bar, and especially the little computer game machine in the corner where I would waste all the quarters I should have saved for laundry.

My girlfriend and I consider this our bar. I graduated and moved away from Madison in May 2005. I have been back a few times and every time I go the bouncer recognizes me at Lava Lounge. This is either because it is a great place or because we are the only people to go their that aren’t covered with tatoos.
The drinks are really cheap. The bartenders are friendly too, unless there are more than 10 people there. It is by far the best decorated bar in town.