Circuit Court of Cook County

My first encounter here was with a lovely, witty gentleman who worked upstairs where you file your paperwork for family-​related cases. That’s not sarcasm; he was genuinely helpful and put me at ease. Of course the only reason he had to be helpful was because the website contained outdated information but that’s neither here nor there. He was great.
The judge was also kind to my ex and me during the hearing. Less so to attorneys but I can understand the frustration towards people who are supposed to be professionals at this.
But everything else is the reason for the rating. The court clerk was just about the most unpleasant person I’ve ever encountered. She gave me a lecture on how I am representing myself «and need to come prepared» just because I pointed to a number on the docket next to my name and said «this is the case number, right?» Sorry, hunny, it’s not like you all let us hang out to see how these cases are done, so how exactly can I «come prepared»?
The court cop had the biggest stick up her *ss and spent the whole 2+ hours we were there patrolling the court like a Catholic nun. Here is a list of things various people were yelled at for:
— Reading a book while waiting for their name to be called («no reading in court! You can go in the hallway if you want to read»… wtf?)
— A respondent quietly asking the petitioner for the answer to one space on their form
— A guy replacing his belt after having just gone through security (he was running late)
— Silently chewing gum
— Having a bottle of water (not drinking out of it or approaching the bench with it or anything, just holding it while sitting)
— Using lip balm («no applying cosmetics in court!» «But my lips are dry?» «Then go in the hallway!»)
— Returning the judge’s pen to her after she had put her hand out to indicate he should bring it to her
— Leaning forward (no I’m not kidding… the cop actually came over to this poor woman, said «are you ok?» and when the woman said yes, the cop barked «well then sit up straight»)
At one point I had an itch on my ankle and really had to hold back the urge to waive her over and ask if I needed to go out into the hallway to scratch it. Keep in mind, all of these people are here for divorce– and custody-​related things. They’re not criminals. The best part is that I never would’ve even known that anyone was doing any of these things if it wasn’t for her yelling at them, so she was being a far bigger distraction than anyone else.
I don’t expect court clerks or court cops to display customer service skills or anything (that’s not their job really) but most of this stuff just seemed like they were going out of their way to be complete *ssh*les to everyone.

The place is beautiful and up to date. The view of the highway and barbed wired fences give a grace of security, the only thing missing was a tower with an armed guard. The maze of a parking lot shows the artistry, planning and thoughtfulness that only God can plan. Everyone who enters are thought provoking, well mannered and overall happy. I do believe this is where rainbows and dreams are made.

I find it hard to believe that I’m the first person to Unilocal about the Maywood circuit court, but here goes:
I’m not giving this place 1-​star because I was irresponsible enough of a driver to warrant coming here in the first place. I’m not giving this place 1-​star because the vast majority of the officials here were gruff and short-​tempered. I’m not giving this place 1-​star because it’s located in freaking MAYWOOD next to a correctional facility lined with barbed fences (and tripwires, proximity mines, or something equally terrifying)…
I’m giving this place 1-​star due to the unbelievable asshattery I had to deal with just to get my traffic tickets annulled and regain my driver’s license.
First of all, the parking lot situation was complete bananas. Some jackass in a Ford Explorer (a large vehicle) managed to park smack dab in the middle of THREE spaces. Another upstanding citizen parked ½ in a handicapped spot, ½ in a pedestrian walkway, and to top it off, had no HDCP plates, sticker, or pass. Way to keep it classy.
Security checkpoint – empty out your pockets, remove your belt, I travel a lot so this is no big deal. Finally inside courtroom 106, I sit down at 8:45 sharp for my 9am sesh with (most of) my paperwork in hand, and begin to wait. And wait.
And wait.
…
The honorable Judge Hill eventually shows up and begins to call out names, most of whom aren’t there. This goes on for quite some time; for every 10 names that he calls, only 2 or 3 answer. As 10am nears, the majority of us 9am offenders haven’t yet been called and the next traffic court session filters in. Apparently, they had the tickets all discombobulated and had to call a brief ‘recess’ to get their shit together. At long last, a full 90 minutes after my appointed time, my name gets called and I approach the judge with my paperwork. «Do you have proof of blah blah blah?» «Why yes, your honor, here it is.» «Okay, what about blah?» «Uhh…it got sent to the wrong address, I was an out-​of-​state college student» «Alright, you’re free to go.» «WAHOO!»
I actually caught a HUGE break in not having all of my required forms, but I nevertheless got my DL returned and made a beeline for the exit. So while all’s well that ends well, I still had to sacrifice virtually my entire morning to get my beautiful state-​issued picture back. So what should’ve taken 30 minutes tops, took thrice as long. Disappointing and unacceptable.
But hey, silver lining: I was expecting everyone around me to smell like sweaty assballs; rather, many had on perfume, cologne, and deodorant! Kudos to them.