Stir Crazy

Haven’t been in here since forever. Came in late on a weekend night and the place was bouncing. No, it’s not the most upscale place, but the girls have good attitudes and like to have fun. Recommended for a spontaneous stop.

Decided to spot by with some friends for a drink and I found the establishment was on Unilocal with free entrance. I presented voucher for free admission and they told me you better give us a good review. I kinda thought it was funny but upon walking in the place, I quickly notice it was lacking women. The majority of the girls, as noted in other reviews, are border line average, with maybe few decent ones. There is 2 stages and the girls come up to you ask for tip just like that. They make more just asking for tips than they do working the pole. I had one beer, thought the place was cool, just needed more hottier girls and less thirsty women.

Only thing worth seeing here is the churrasco. Might be the best in town, sadly it’s in this dump. I would rate higher but, this is a strip club and not a cafeteria. Saggy and floppy are the only words that come to mind.

This place is horrible from the girls, to the service, to the structure of the place.

This place is disgusting!!! I don’t like the atmosphere the girls are not even all that and they’re so annoying all they want is money. I understand that’s what they’re there for but come on they don’t get their hands when you tell them not interested and on top of that they’re giving out their numbers to do personal favorite that’s how desperate this place is this is a walking disease please beware be careful guys!!!

WOOF

I stopped in their last week. I saw a guy take a girl for a lap dance. The whole time the creeper bouncer was peeking through the curtain watching. Very weird. I had one beer and left

Wow! Just wow is all I can say about this place. I had never (In the 32 years of living in Miami) been to Stir Crazy and yesterday was my day. It was a super random «let’s go» moment and their famous Churrasco was the reason. Although I don’t eat red meat my trusty friends were very excited to try this so-​called «best skirt steak in Miami» and I must say they were very pleased. It came as a surprise to me because, honestly the strippers seemed like they were all on heroin. Yeah, I said it. I could go on and on about the shit I saw in that place but this is about the «Churrasco» hahahah!
Overall, I think I’ll go back and experience that again.

decent at best. i dont know the chicks name but she was in black last night… she should have my babies. the rest of them are just typical strippers… maybe a booty, ugly face… nice titties, chunk in the belly… pretty face, and nothing else…

Weeknight. They won’t let you in with a gun, so leave it in the car. In for $ 5 and a light frisk. Dancers: 7 latina, 4 black, 1 whitey from Tallahassee. One chick’s an 8.5. Another is a 7.5 with a wig. Bud Lite is $ 2.00. There’s no 2-​drink-​min harassment. Dancers do walk around the bar for your dollar when they get off the stage. $ 25 lap-​dances are semi-​private.
Decent alternative to BT’s. 6 or 7 visits in a 12 year span, its consistently a 3-​star spot.

2.5 Stars (rounding up thanks to Striller)
Dear Stir Crazy,
So many mixed emotions that it makes it hard to write this review. Overall, I give you a 2.5… BUT you just have infinite amounts of potential! You could be a really hip Strip Club if it was just run a little differently.
Your venue itself is small, but not too small. Just intimate enough, which I always like. There’s a main stage in the front, and a back bar, with tables spread in between. There are VIP rooms, which I’ve never seen, and what seemed to be some kind of an upstairs (?) — but that could have been VIP.
And how can I forget, you serve FOOD! Full kitchen til 5am. And it’s pretty damn good. Just the other night, the bf and I were here (story to follow below) and we enjoyed some of your tasty delights. :) Quite impressed my friends. Quite impressed.
The girls for the most part are very… voluptuous and full-​figured, to keep it nice and PC. Very hit or miss… So for those reading, if you’re looking to «fall in love with a stripper», try another spot.
However, there is one thing to be said about the entertainment value here. :) I have never had a bad time! I’ve had all kinds of random adventures here and not once did I ever leave saying «I’m not coming back». Stir Crazy, you definitely keep me on my toes! And I like that!
Which brings me to the story I want to write about my last and most recent experience here, just a couple of Saturday Nights ago… ;-)
We will title this story — STRILLER! (Use your imagination or just keep reading!)
It was very late on a Saturday night and we were on our way home from Brickell. I was starving but pizza was not an option. As we are getting nearer to our house, the bf suggests (as we’re just a couple blocks away) «hey, let’s stop at Stir Crazy! Besides, they serve food». Hmmm Food at a Strip Club? We’ve done it at Tootsies and really enjoyed, so I thought I would give you a try.
We came in and of course were not impressed by the dancer on stage. We headed straight for the back bar — our spot. We sat down, ordered drinks and asked for a menu. We decided to split a cheeseburger and fries, so we placed the order.
The night was progressing as it should. Different girls dancing… Girls asking to be tipped for dances we didn’t see… Etc. The usual strip club protocol.
But then… As the food arrived smelling so tasty (was I just that hungry and drunk?), the lights got dimmer and the familiar sounds of Michael Jackson’s Thriller started creeping into my ears… Little by little the song got louder and as I continued to enjoy and devour my burger, I was immediately drawn to the commotion on the stage…
There she was. STRILLER. In all of her glory. Beautiful caramel colored skin with matching honey-​colored hair… Wearing a Leopard-​print leotard. Yes a full-​blown dance leotard. Long sleeves and all.
And the show began.
This amazingly talented dancer proceeded to perform the entire, what I call the Theatrical, dance routine of MJ’s Thriller video. For the full legnth of the song (what is it, 12 minutes?!). She did the zombie move and all. This was the BEST thing I’ve EVER seen!!! And for that, I give Striller 5 Stars!!! :) She should have her own headline show here. You need to have her name all up on the marquis!
I wish to God that you would not have made me return my camera to the car when you searched us upon entering (is this necessary, by the way?). I wish to God that I could have video-​taped this and been the next YouTube sensation. But alas, rules are rules, and I understand the no camera policy.
So instead, I write my review… Glorifying my Striller forever.
Much Love,
SabrinaAnna*
PS. See you soon. Make sure Striller is there. Thanks!

Mostly large women dancing. They frisk you when you go in ever since several people were shot there several years ago. Better off skipping this place.