Sony Crestwood Theatre

No.
Just don’t.
Well, if you like the rudest audiences in North America, then go. I finally quit going there when I heard people accepting and making phone calls. The shout-​outs, the smell, the sticky floors, the blurry projectors, and the supposedly-​humorous bickering between obese women («Ima cut cho throat you keep talkin’ like a turkey!») apparently weren’t enough to deter me.
This place is ghetto. Every color or hue or variety of people that go there is ghetto. No single race or group of people could create this level of unpleasantness. ANd how could I forget the Juggalos? Yes, twice a group of Juggalos (they’re trashy people who listen to awful music and cover their entire faces – their entire faces – with clown make-​up. They converse and swear and poke fun at the movies; my two-​year old was scared to death of them. Hell, I was scared of them. Later that night, I accidentally switched to an obscure AM station which happened to pick up God talking to Moses and St. Francis d’Assisi. «Next time,» God said, «I’m taking out the gene that is responsible for those Juggalos. How could I not foresee that?»
Hey, we have all been critical and disrespectful before. We have all beeb cynical and have poked fun at movies. But here’s a hint: If you hate society, then don’t go to see Pixar films!
I go to the theater in Orland these days. It’s a much more comfortable and respectful atmosphere. Same selection of candy, but the eye candy in Orland is much better. In other words, there are plenty of milfs. Most of the men and women who frequent Sony Crestwood, however, can be seen grazing for Skittles on the side of the road in between features.
So, no.
Just don’t.
Stay home and read the book.
Bury yourself alive in a box of snakes.
Pay a friend to repeatedly run over you with a car.
Bite your own fingers off and rub the wounds with rock salt.
Anything is better than a movie at this place.