Holey Moley Coffee + Doughnuts

We went to this doughnutery over the weekend. We had a City Tin for the place otherwise we would probably not have known about it or gone there. Glad we did because it was yummy. People were nice and they laughed at my jokes. It is a small joint, kind of more like a Kiosk in a hallway.
Now about our purchases. My wife and I bought 1 hot coffee, 2 iced coffees, and 4 doughnuts. I liked the doughnuts. My wife thought the one she had was ok. But she is nuts so I don’t base my eating decisions on her wacky tastes.
There was plenty of variety. This is a boutique doughnutery and I don’t expect 20 varieties. A few good ones are enough for me.
We will be back.

Holy Doughnuts Batman!
Yes, this place reaches to levels of perfection in terms of the righteous requirements of doughnuts. We took the advice of another Unilocaler and made our way in before 10:00am to get first dibs on their ever-​changing selection of doughnuts.
We ordered a half dozen.
1. Coffee & Doughnut-​By far my favorite. Had a glaze that seemed to have actual coffee grounds in it.
2.Passionfruit Coconut
3.Bourbon-Indonesian Vanilla
4.S’mores-My husband really liked this one. It had an actual toasted marshmallow topping to it.
5.Samoa
6.Classic Coffee Cake Donut
All were really, really good. But can you really go wrong with a doughnut? Possibly. Possibly.
The only downside to this place is they have very limited seating-​I think because it’s in the middle of a little mall? They also have a coffee selection available.
I will be traveling back to this holy land in the future.

Get there early, they frequently sell out or have extremely limited flavors to pick from post 10am! Passion fruit coconut didn’t have me too excited when a friend ordered, but it turned out to be my favorite! Filled doughnuts have just the right amount of filling– not oozing out, but not searching for more. Old fashioned doughnuts are my favorite– but they are heavy!

I haven’t had a chance to stop by in a while, but a coworker brought a box last week and I really just wanted to hide in a dark corner and devour them all myself. If it weren’t for the embarrassing sticky fingers and pile of crumbs that would have been left behind… I probably would have. Darn corporate life. Anyway, Holey Moley, you never let me down. I have a special place in my heart for your Old Fashioned yummies. The texture and crumb is so satisfying and delicious and decadent. Not to mention that HEAVENLY CUSTARD FILLED DREAM that I had at Miller Park this summer. So, what am I trying to say? Thank you. Thank you for keeping Milwaukee yummy.

Disappointed not with the selection but with the quality and flavors of their donuts. Was initially excited to find Holey Moley donuts on a business trip– I’m always looking for the best donuts in town– but the Indonesian Vanilla tasted bland and stale, Samoa was too sweet and also felt stale, and Raspberry Lemon Old-​Fashioned was sour– felt soaked in ReaLemon– and, yes, stale. The coffee was also lukewarm. Two coffees and four uninspired donuts set me back $ 16.
Don’t worry about replying, Joe S. I won’t be back.

Hmmm. After coming to this place more than a handful of different times, each time months apart and hoping for a change in service, flavor/​texture and pricing, I feel that I can give an adequate, cumulative review of my experiences here and can honestly say I probably won’t be back.
Each time we have stopped by, it’s been on our way to work (so, between 8:00 and 8:25 AM). There is still, usually, a decent selection (and I use the word «decent» loosely) of donuts to choose from. They also serve Hawthorne Coffee (which is probably my favorite coffee roaster in the area!!!). As someone who was once vegan, and has learned to appreciate gluten free treats, I also like the fact that they provide options for dietary restrictions.
Why only one star?
Service: Subpar, if even. The individuals who have been there in the mornings are hardly awake themselves. We’ve gotten some pretty rude service: annoyed when we ask questions about what is in some of the donuts, or, simply ignoring us when we are trying to get their attention. Each time I’ve been there, there has also been somewhat of a line or wait, which shouldn’t happen when you have a space that small, have limited hours and have pre-​work breakfast rushes.
Product: I love Hawthorne Coffee! But I don’t love it when it is stale and/​or burnt. I don’t know if it’s that they keep the coffee on the burner long or if there is something wrong with the machine with which they make the coffee — but having made Hawthorne at home and having tried it at other places (Ardent! & also Hawthorne’s actual shop in BV) — this tastes NOTHING like the tasty goodness I’ve gotten elsewhere. I would go so far as to say that the way they make and/​or serve it here is a disservice to the HCR brand. I also love donuts — but not donuts as in «Dunkin’ Donuts» — real, homemade, fresh, donuts. While I appreciate the somewhat small variety of donuts they have here, I do think that they could work on maybe not putting hard/​dry/​stale donuts out for sale. While the flavors sound delicious, I have found many of the donuts to fall far from what I imagine they would taste like (based on doughnut flavors at other places) and often leave me not wanting to finish them. This is especially true for the donuts that have some sort of cream in or on them — as they have been hard or brittle by the time I buy them and taste them.
Price: Like some of the other Elites here have said, I have trouble justifying the price. It’s one thing to have an amazing doughnut that is moist, rich in flavor and meets or exceeds all of your expectations of a doughnut. It’s a completely other thing to pay a ridiculous amount of money for a doughnut you can’t stomach or finish because of how hard and dry/​stale it is.
I appreciate that they make an attempt to bring gourmet doughnuts to the Milwaukee area, I just don’t know that they are really selling what they «think» they are, if you know what I mean.

This place has good doughnuts, don’t get me wrong, however they are not 4 – 5 star quality in my book. The raspberry glazed was different, but very sugary, same with the coffee cake. The coffee I got was delicious and a nice saving grace from the overly sweet doughnuts.
I have passed by the sign outside several times and finally decided to stop in on a Sunday morning before heading to the Public Market. My friend and I ordered several different kinds and they were all too sweet and very heavy on the stomach. What’s lacking most for me in this place is the «hot n’ fresh» quality you look for in a good doughnut. It’s why most of us get excited to see Krispy Kreme’s «Hot» light on. They say they’re made fresh, but I just don’t get that feeling.
If you have a serious sweet tooth then I say this place may be for you.

Ordered a dozen vegan donuts last Friday in time for a Tuesday pickup. They turned out fantastic! The pistachio donut was my favorite. Next up was coconut passion fruit. To be honest though, all their flavors are amazing.
Highly recommend ordering for your next office breakfast!

Great Milwaukee gem! Excellent doughnuts with a very wide variety! They make doughnuts fun again!

Decent donuts. No parking. We came at 1130 and there were barely any left. My expectations were pretty high and I left feeling pretty underwhelmed.
$ 7 to park across the street.
Should have just went to dunkin donuts.

Best gluten free doughnuts I’ve found so far after traveling and searching the country. Don’t know why gf doughnuts are SO hard to find, but these guys do them great.
Tried the pumpkin, baby spice, and the chocolate glazed gluten free… all great, moisture texture, not dry or crumbly like many other gf baked goods.
The menu of potential gluten free doughnuts or vegan options to order ahead is very extensive but they seem to only have one or two flavors in the shop at any time, but these rotate out.
Tip: check out their Facebook page for a list of flavors they have in stock that day.
In all, Holey Moley is now one of my absolute must haves in Milwaukee!

yaay for expansion of the gourmet doughnut scene in MKE.
the menu is vast, with quite unique flavors and bases [vegan, cake, gluten-​free, old-​fashioned, and fritter]. I tried the samoa and the chocolate glazed. holey moley has perfectly captured the flavors of the beloved girl scout cookie and translated it into a doughnut.
relative to the typical Midwest portion size, these donuts run on the petite size. but because the bases run on the heavy side, an increase in the size of the doughnut is unnecessary.
to continue the local small business support, holey moley carries coffee/​espresso beans from hawthorn coffee roasters. the roast of the espresso beans was on-​par with the many premier coffee shops I have visited.
the décor here is sheer brilliance. only downside is the limited seating.

I’m already a fan of the downtown location, and I was curious as to what we’d find here.
I was extremely happy with the staff here (fun and chatty even working up a sweat) and pretty stoked at the selection.
It’s not as varied as what you’ll find at the 3^rd Ward location, but still had the right easy flavors to choose from. They’ve also got decent coffee, which is great through most of May since it’s still (evidently) winter.
The highlight would be the custard/​donut sammiches. Any combination of custard, a donut, caramel, Nutella, nuts (other than deez) and bananas is pretty full of win. Worth the stop and a fairly quick line.
Entrance level, down first base line by AJ’s.

This morning, I felt like the donut jeanie granted me a wish. Yesterday I Unilocaled about how the Violet Beauregarde is my favoite Holey Moley donut (and maybe my favorite donut ever, so far) and I saw it this morning on my way to search for breakfast at Downtown Kitchen. Yes, I bought one, and it’s still awesome! Blueberry frosting on and blueberry filling in a yeast donut. I’m willing to try something that might taste even better. Good luck with that.

So… I know I’m going to get in trouble for this whole review… but this was definitely a three-​star visit for me.
Starting strong, I LOVED the maple bacon donut. Loved, loved, LOVED it. The yeast donut was perfectly light and airy, the maple was sweet, and the bacon was the perfect salty, crispy bite to balance the whole thing. I got the last one, and was having a mini anxiety attack as the line crept forward, because I KNEW that was the one I wanted.
The other donuts that I sampled were WAY too sweet for me. I was super excited about the bourbon-​indonesian vanilla, but I thought the bourbon flavor got buried under an overwhelming sweetness. There was also a blue/​purplish glazed cake donut (I thought it was blueberry, but I don’t see it on the menu… so maybe I’m wrong), but the glaze was way too thick and sweet. I split it in half with my mister, and neither of us really wanted to finish it.
I can see how the two cake donuts that I tried would be a nice contrast with a strong, dark coffee, but standing alone, it was just too sugary for me.
The only sweetness that I didn’t mind was from the girls who took my order — they were incredibly nice, helpful, and efficient at what they did. Will probably try again — and just ask the ladies to steer me to the less sugary options.

I had high hopes for the establishment. I will admit i was apprehensive at first because 25.00 to 30.00 for 12 donuts sounds insane to me. I’m more than sure that they don’t taste that good. Picture a lil Debbie cake… we know that as 50 cents or 99 cents right? The same size donut 3.00? Hmm I don’t know about this one.
On the way to work i stopped by. Its next door to Smoke Shack in the 3^rd ward. It occupies a spot that another pastry establishment once held. I cant remember. However i was really disappointed. They had all of these exotic flavors and such. I’m a pretty plain straight forward type of guy. Its not that i am not open to change because i am. Its just that i don’t eat chocolate and how many chocolate donuts were there? To many for my liking.
So i wasted a lot of time because i didn’t buy a donuts at all. The one donut that i might have got was not available at the time i was there. It was a bourbon glaze cake donut i think. Im not a fan of places that are more style then substance.
What you can expect: An establishment that’s prices are higher than average and parking can be a royal pain. Flavors that are not conventional. Hours that only allow you to go before work and no guarantee that they will have any one donut at any time because they or may not sell out at any time.
I would love to stop back in and give them a chance. My issue is that there is literally only one donut that i would eat. There are maybe flavors that would appeal to others. For me im straight forward about what i want. If i have to drive to another side of town that i dont live, meet here at hours that aren’t convenient for working adults and pay prices that makes Dunkin Donuts look like their entire selection is the equivalent of the dollar menu at Mickey D’s then dagnamit it better be freaking delicious.
But ill be back i will give it a chance.

Mind = blown. I pre-​ordered doughnuts for my office the day before (great feature!), picked them up in the morning with no wait and the friendliest service. The doughnuts, whether they were the cake, yeast, or specialty, were incredibly moist, each flavor was complex, yet not overwhelming, and the icing or frosting was a great addition — not too sweet and not too heavy.
I barely like doughnuts, but this turned me into a huge fan. My office was raving about how good they were. Even the gluten-​free doughnuts were a hit!

I. Love. Donuts.
I don’t even need fancy donuts. Hook me up with a glazed donut and we’ll be friends forever.
Valentine’s weekend, the boyfriend and I stopped at Holey Moley on the way out of town. The business is located inside an office building, tucked away in the corner. It draws attention to itself with the lime green accents on the chalkboard. There is one lady working, and I’d honestly say she is pretty inefficient. She handles each customer one at a time, and is pretty slow. When we arrived, there were only two ahead of us but the entire process still took about 20 minutes.
The four we ended up trying were the Fat Elvis — peanut butter/​banana combo, crème brûlée, vanilla crème and the bourbon Indonesian vanilla cake.
Of the four, my favorite was the crème brûlée. It has a really creamy filling and I loved the caramelized sugar on top. The others were okay, pretty lackluster and not memorable. While Holey Moley had really interesting flavor combinations, I felt execution fell short. The donuts were pretty dry and cakey.
Aside from being slow, service was fine. The lady was friendly. This seems like a get-​in-​get-​out type place. There were no tables or chairs to sit at.
TL, DR; still on my quest for the best MKE doughnut

As a connoisseur of fine pastries, I find that my sophisticated palette tends to be quite fickle when it comes to the consumption of sugared or frosted confections.
When it comes to Holey Moley, I feel no shame in admitting that my monocle flew off my face as the first bite entered my face mounted taste cavern. The frosting slowly saturated my mouth with what I can only describe as what it would taste like if you melted an angel, and generously spread it across fried dough.
I normally judge my morning based sweets on how well they dip in coffee.
This practice dates back to the ancient Mayans, who would judge the quality of their cocoa beans by crushing them up into a fine paste and spreading it on their most artisan of breads, and then dipping it into a nice dark coffee to see if the flavors would blend harmoniously.
I’m 90% sure I just made that up, but I’m going to stick with it.
The point is, this is the first trial, and you don’t want to dunk a fancy filled donut into a coffee. Too many different flavors, and then the crème or jelly will mix with the coffee, and it will turn into a giant mess. Nobody wants that, except small children. You’re not a small child are you?
No.
You’re not.
And if you are you shouldn’t be on the internet or drinking coffee anyway.
So for the coffee test, I went with a raspberry old fashioned donut. Nothing too fancy, no Saffron encrusted bacon crumbles or anything like that, just a nice sweet layer of frosting.
The Trial of Caffeine was passed with flying colors. The donut did not crumble apart, yet was able to soak a surprising amount of coffee and maintain itself and it’s layer of frosting. This is great on two levels, as it gives you the flavor mixing experience you want, while keeping the mess minimal.
This is the way you want to dip if you want to make sure you come across as a person who knows what they’re doing in life, and not some Dunkin Donut box buying plebeian.
The thing about trials though, is that there is more than one… so you have to get more than one donut. Darn.
For the Trial of Consumption, it’s all about the biggest, baddest, most artery clogging donut you can get. The two options for this were a chocolate bacon crumble donut with a peanut butter chocolate filling, and a donut with Nutella filling with crumbled nuts and chocolate frosting.
I’m all about chocolate, bacon, and peanut butter, however how often do you have a chance to try a Nutella donut?
I had to do it.
I did it.
This beast of a donut almost did me in. Every bite was savory and soft, the melodious dance of chocolate and hazlenut ballroom dancing across my taste buds. The climax was hit when I bit into the filled part, and Nutella burst forth, like some kind of flavor volcano, pouring out onto a small village below, only the screams are screams of joy, not terror.
While it’s a difficult donut to eat without getting your hands a little messy, this is not a donut you’d order in the first place if you were planning on not looking like a complete and total hedonist.
The final trial, the Trial of Wilford Brimley, I did not feel awful after eating all this donut. In fact, I felt invigorated. Maybe it was just a sugar rush, maybe it’s just that these donuts are actually as magical as they taste.
I will definitely be coming back. On a scale of one to diabetes, Holey Moley is a solid YES.

Holey Moley! You had me at Hello. From the first glance at your chocolate-​glazed, filled deliciousness, I was in love. Your smattering of bacon was a signature move that put me over the top. And that sampling of peanut butter custard inside you? I simply had to devour you.
Don’t get carried away folks. It sounds like a romance novel, but I’m actually writing about… a donut. A delicious donut unlike any I’ve ever had. I urge you to try em for yourself, because you too will be hooked and have your own love affair with these sweet goodies.
Owner Joe Sorge will tell you what makes these donuts different. For starters, the secret is in the dough. Most donuts rely on the toppings to bring on the flavor. Holey Moley makes it’s dough delicious. You can taste the hint of Ceylon cinnamon and fresh ground nutmeg. Real orange in the Orange Old Fashioned donut. Truly hand-​crafted with love.
Then there’s the toppings. Delicious. Fresh. Homemade. Does it get any better?
Yep. These wonders are as beautiful on the inside as they are outside. Unique fillings like blueberry, or as I mentioned, peanut butter custard. Heavenly.
Get to Holey Moley right now for some donut love. I promise you will find a treat as unique as you. Now there’s a match made in heaven!