Two

It’s like a 1970’s Ron Jeremy lounge. Like art bar, this place is cool in theory. Bartenders — awesome. Vibe — interesting. Jukebox — good. But like it’s cousin, Art Bar, it has been tainted by some douchey clientele.
Or maybe Milwaukee just sucks? No lo se.

Two is a diamond in the rough. Never expected for such a hip, classy, chill spot to be nestled into Riverwest. Two is well decorated and features some intimate areas as well as open booths to start or end a night out on the town. If it’s not two busy you can bring your dog in too. You would never guess that this place is as sheek as it is from the outside. The owners of Art Bar did a great job to compliment their space next door.

Cozy, intimate bar with yummy drinks. The bartenders were very chatty and willing to help you find a drink you would like. The drinks are a little pricey, so it makes this a more of a special occasion bar for us.

The first and only time I’ve ever been here, I immediately fell in love. Wonderful craft cocktails. Calm old school atmosphere. Perfect for dates will your closest friends or dates with your beloved. Sometimes if Art Bar gets to crowded or loud, this is the perfect little escape right next door.

Oh, what a dark & dreamy den.
Lounge lizards slither from booth to bar to street to smoke under the orange glow.
While I lounged among them, a character of contemporary local infamy recalled a familiar phrase from his father.
«You used to be able to tell if a bar was any good by the jukebox.»
I think it was his father. He was, and is, a lizard. In his culture, the term is used to refer to the male figure who the speaker most fears & respects. And depending on the circumstances, he could truly mean his literal father. I didn’t much care who said it to him. The lizard was dead right.
Two has a jukebox that can tell you something about Two.
Motown. Oo, baby. Hall & Oates like it ain’t no thang. Barry White. Ray Charles.
Get off me.
I can’t help but be drawn to the velvety vermilion interior. Some people wish that the beads at the small booths were removed.
DIS. A. GREE.
It adds to the charm. Plus, where else do you have the option to sit in very private, very cozy booths?
Slide on in. Lean back in the lounge chairs. Befriend a neighborhood reptile. Otherwise, he might just continue to sit at the end of the bar, blinking at you.

I super dig this place, and not just because it’s within stumbling distance of my humble Riverwest abode.
Two is a lounge, through and through. It had been on my radar for years, but rumo (u)rs of a creepy, swing-​tastic vibe kept me away initially. This all changed one fateful night… Art Bar was hosting some loud-​ass band and smelled particularly strongly of «Riverwest,» so we walked in and walked right back out. Upon leaving, some sidewalk smoker suggested we check out the spot next door for a more chill + relaxed ambiance. The recommendation took hold with little arm twisting as I had most surely consumed a beverage or two prior to my arrival at Art Bar so… what the hell? L and I mosey back inside, except exactly one door over.
Two’s retro and mid-​century-​modern-​esque, with booths for two covered in beads and curtains lining the walls. Communal/​general seating’s at high top tables, a few comfy lounge-​y chairs, and the bar only.
(An aside: Those booths? If it were my bar, they’d go, or at the very least, I’d ditch the curtains and beads. This place is great, and the whole «romantic» angle isn’t necessarily bad, but it’s not so apt in my opinion, either. Sorry, owners. I hear you’re nice folks but I’m just being honest. Plus, it’s a great spot without the angle! I’d sit at booths with friends if I didn’t feel like they thought I might be trying to make out with them. Also, I’ve never seen anyone sitting in those booths. That says something, I think.)
ANYWAYS…
Two’s pretty rad and I like the spot quite a bit. The bartenders are always nice; a special shout out to *Brandon, who pays attention to Unilocal and is a real-​deal super funny/​nice dude. There’s a diverse set of regulars and patrons and the bar stocks solid boozes and suds. I can get a well-​made hot toddy, a Rehorst gin and tonic, or interesting craft brews. I can also apparently get amaretto-​flavored vodka these days, which I am excited yet a touch embarrassed about liking and ordering. (Don’t you judge me! Or go ahead. I don’t care at all, actually.)
Overall: Two’s a chill, old-​school/​retro lounge-​type spot nestled just next to Art Bar on Burleigh in Riverwest. The more I go, the more I prefer it to Art Bar, to be honest. Check it out, and don’t judge a book by its slightly creepy booths or reputation.
*I think his name is Brandon. Or Brian. He worked at/​works at Trocadero, too.

People! All of you lovestruck folks out there! Get your buns to Two!!! You will feel like a naughty teenager, sneaking down to your parents’ parents basement for a good make-​out session with your steady. There are red lights; beaded curtains concealing booths pour deux; velour rockers; plastic chairs; Dirty Minds. I mean the game, but I could very well mean the patrons. I have not even started with the beverages. I was there on Valentine’s Day, but I am certain the coolness factor is ever present. Grab your spouse, sig. other, F with B and cuddle up with a coffee drink. Mine was served with chocolate vodka and in a pint glass with a cardboard ring. At Two they are all about a tasty drink, protection (from hot beverages), and sassy ambiance. There are welcoming locals and happy bartenders. You will feel the love from everyone.

One of my favorite lounges in Milwaukee happens to be just a stone’s throw away. Not sure if it’s my favorite because is so close or because of the beaded curtains that make each booth seem so private or maybe it’s because of the chill vibe the bartenders put out. hmm…
Avoid bringing anyone loud, drunk, obnoxious, or otherwise crazy because they will stand out in a bad way. yup, I learned this the hard way.