Gopher Liquor

If you’re looking to spend 25−35% more, on a terrible selection of items, and then get treated like a jerk for bothering the cashier to have to come inside from their smoke break to ring you up, then this is the place for you! Surdyks is merely blocks away and is the vastly superior option if you’re on foot — If you’re in a car, Sentyrz is about 5 minutes away by car and is the Mecca of NorthEast treasures, as they’re one of two places in the state (so the story goes) that is grandfathered in to be able to sell not only a full liquor selection but a full grocery selection as well.
Long story short — unless you’re hobbling to the liquor store on crutches and can’t make it the extra 4 or 5 blocks to Surdyks, there’s no reason to step foot in this place. Heck, even then, might as well grab an Über, go to Surdyks or Sentyrz, and probably still come out ahead.
About the author: I live a block away from this place and have lived in the neighborhood since 1986. In other words, not part of the recent hipster invasion.
Hope this helps!

I don’t have anything horrible to say about this store. I stop here often to grab some beer on my way home from work. It’s fairly clean, well-​lit, and it has the products I want to buy. It might be a smidgen overpriced, but it is a small local joint so I expect that. I can see what people are saying about unfriendliness, but overall the ladies that work here have never been downright mean or unwelcoming. They just don’t seem to have that Minnesota-​nice, smile-​broadly-​at-​everyone-​and-​ask-​how-​they-​are-​today-​thing. More like, I’m-here-to-ring-you-up-and-that’s-it.

this is the kind of liquor store you go to for these reasons:
1. you live in walking distance
2. you want most your liquor in plastic bottles
3. you want your beer extremely cheap. (you want cheap beer. get it?)
4. you’re wandering the neighborhood drunk already and need a refill.
5. you l like carpet
6. uhhhhhhh?

I can walk to Gopher Liquor in about 60 seconds. Great for convenience and those «oh DAMN it’s five minutes til 10» moments, not so great for my wallet. Their prices are higher than what you’d pay at other places, but they’re a tiny business trying to stay afloat.
The people that work there are entertaining… it’s kind of dingy and smells like cigs and the selection is basic. They have surprisingly high-​quality juice though!
Always good for people watching and eavesdropping on other customers.

Not bad. High prices. Convenient location. Cashiers friendly.

The reason that I am the first to review this liquor store is probably because of the fear of retribution that people have. What might happen if I negatively review Gopher? I will never show my face there again so I’m taking the risk.
Downright. Scary. It brought me right back to the night I spent in the Cleveland bus station (my own personal scariest place on earth). The people working here all seemed like they would prefer to skin me than to sell me beer. But you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. So we browsed for awhile (thank goodness I was not unchaperoned) and ended up leaving with nothing despite the very heavy weight of obligation to buy SOMETHING under such intense discomfort and scrutiny. Anything to improve the situation! But we chose to flee, for everything in this place was considerably overpriced and there are other liquor stores close by. More importantly they didn’t have what we were shopping for. Even if I had been on foot in a blizzard or a flood I would have probably opted for the jaunt to Surdyk’s.
I don’t need my liquor store to be fancy or shiny. It wasn’t the lack of either of those qualities that made me turn away, but rather the prices and selection combined with the unwelcome feeling. I prefer to shop local, and I still can since there are a number of other liquor stores close to home. When we were leaving empty-​handed we were dismissed with very obvious sneers and a snide «thanks for shopping with us,» which absolutely was not mistaken nor meant to be sincere. I am fairly certain that we didn’t do anything to warrant such abrasiveness, unless bright yellow coats or ’94 Saturns offend them.
Would I rather live in a house with snakes in the walls or buy vodka at Gopher Liquor? Would I rather high five a hungry grizzly bear or get a case of PBR on my way home at Gopher? If anyone else has had a positive experience and this was just a very, verrry bad night for them, I beg you to share! The only other experience I’ve heard of is that of a friend who’s boyfriend left her locked in the car the last time they stopped… am I just paranoid?