Hidden Beach

Calling this a beach is a joke. The water is dirty, there really is no beach sand, and since it is the only beach like place in Minnesota it gets way overcrowded. People watching? more like ugly people watching. Not to mention it is a hotspot for bums, rapes, and police brutality. If you want to have a horrible time, catch ecoli, and lose your faith in humanity get at it. If you are not a Minnesota homer who has been to real beaches stay away. Also don’t go after night because the place is dangerous as sin.

Pathetic excuse for a beach. So tiny, dirty, and shaded. What’s the point of going to the beach if you’re not going get your tan on?
It’s mostly run amok with hipsters, mixed in with a few sketchy characters (the folks who were there before the hipsters invaded).
Hidden beach makes me really really miss the glorious California beaches! ha!

This is not a review — I actually have a question! Does anyone know if this is still a nudist optional beach? I just moved to MN and would love to find a nude-​friendly place. Suggestions welcome!

People watching is the best part of this beach, other than that it’s not that great. The beach is dirty and there are quite a few people who seem untrustworthy. Not very pretty or relaxing but interesting and casual.
It is worth trying out if you haven’t been but it’s not a place to bring your kids or recommend to out of town guests.
Tip: RIde your bike and take the Cedar Lake trail, there isn’t a lot of parking so riding your bike is the best option.

As a beer-​drinking, cigarette smoking hipster who just moved here and doesn’t understand what it was like before, I love Hidden Beach!
All the other beaches around Calhoun and Lake of the Isles are blown up with families and are too public. This is where you can kick back and drink a beer.
Unfortunately, because the place is a popular hang out spot – it even has a mud pit! – the kops have been coming): to harsh everyone’s buzz. Luckily as a community the beach-​goers let each other know the cops are there by yelling ‘5−0!’ so we can hide our beers. Frankly, f*** the police. Sure, there might be kids with dreadlocks doing molly on the far end of the beach, but they are not hurting anybody by playing Sublime covers on acoustic guitar and hoola hooping.
This place is where I like to hang out on sunny afternoons, and would really be a lot better if the police stopped going there. I wouldn’t bring your kid there, but I would bring your barely legal teenage daughter.

My favorite beach in the city. But then again who doesn’t like a shady path to a tiny beach and giant mud pit?

Hidden Beach is the dive bar of beaches in Minneapolis. Dirty, crowded, and perfect for people watching. The sand is pretty terrible, and once you find a spot for your towel you will be grateful that it covers the cigarrette butts and other assorted junk. There was an odd mixture of visitors yesterday afternoon, but the majority were hippies and hipsters. If you want to get even more dirty, take a dip in the nearby mud pit. The water at the lake was surprisingly cool and there weren’t too many weeds, but I’m glad I didn’t go too far in. Although I saw a couple of families, this is not a great family destination in my book.

This beach struck me as dirty and swampy. Apparently the major complaint people have about it is that it is no longer as dirty as it was. But at least it wasn’t crowded.
Drinking beer on the beach would be pleasant, but I’d rather do it on a beach that didn’t make me check the date of my last tetanus booster. A beach where you can see some sand under the cigarette butts.
I did go there once or twice when it was supposedly a nude beach, but I didn’t see any of the partying that is supposed to have gone on there; just a couple of families.

Hidden Beach is a NIMBY victim. Once upon a time, it was an unofficial and dirty beach frequented by the louche, the weird, the drugged out, the naked. Now it is an official and dirty beach frequented by the same, along with cops.
It’s a big difference.

Hidden Beach, I hardly knew ye. Of course, you’ve changed — cleaned up your act. You no longer grow out your underbrush and you’ve gone teetotaler. It sounds like you were a real party animal back in the days, but have become tame in recent years. I hear you even call yourself «East Cedar Lake Beach» now!
We took our dog, Ajax, to Hidden Beach to teach him to swim because it is one of the few places that you can let your dog swim in the lake. It is still technically a offense that can get you a fine, but the Park Rangers were more concerned with alcohol possession. 4 people near us got tickets for having a whopping total of 4 beers between them! Ouch!
The lake and swimming area are really nice. The beach itself could use a little work — there are tons of cigarette butts everywhere. There is a port-​o-​potty for those who need some privacy and don’t subscribe to my philosophy that to a man, the entire world is a bathroom :-)
There is one BBQ grill and two or three picnic tables as well.
This is still a pretty fun place to go, but now that they are cracking down on alcohol, there is no reason to go here over the cleaner nicer beaches all around Cedar Lake and throughout Minneapolis. And I have a feeling the local million-​dollar-​homeowners want it that way. As long as Kenwood is the most expensive area of the city, this beach will see heavy enforcement and fun-​squelching.
Move on folks. Nothin to see here.

Oh, Hidden Beach. You are the exact opposite of hidden. Some people are nostalgically attached to you. I’m not one of them. Ima tell ‘em what’s what, Hidden Beach, and you can’t stop me… ’cause you’re a beach.
I went for the first time last summer and… hmm… the word that comes to mind is dirrrrrrty (X-tina-style=too dirty to clean its act up). The beach was ungodly crowded and I think I shaved about three years off my life by breathing the second-​hand smoke hanging in the atmosphere like Hidden Beach’s own personal smoke monster.
I could see nary a square inch of sand, which turned out to be a blessing because under the beach towels were old cigarettes, broken glass bottles, used condoms (at least they’re being safe, right?) and rusty nails (YEP, I found an actual rusty nail). I don’t even want to know what has gone down in those mud pits over the years. Yelch.
The two stars are for (a) best. people-​watching. ever. (saw some water-​walkers on stand-​up paddle boards, cute dogs, cute babies that should have been taken to a less rough-​and-​tumble beach, really good and really bad tattoos, etc.) and (b) for simply being a beach (gotta give it up for that, I’m not heartless).
Oh, I feel for you, Hidden Beach… you sorry has-​been, I hope you aren’t too upset by my criticism. Either way, you’re a beach, so you can’t hurt me. Unless there’s something you’d like to tell me about that rusty nail…

Hidden Beach was my second home summer of 2007. people would chill and do whatever; smoke weed, drink, socialize.
theres an awesome mud pit in the back of the beach that people wrestle in and stuff. it was always relaxing to post up with some beers in the mud.
unfortunately, its now a public beach, which breaks my heart. they have lifeguards on the weekends and they turned the winding dirt path through the woods into a gravel road for the coppers to cruise down.
i miss the old beach very much, but last i was there it was still good for drinking beers at night by the lake.
and everyone should go in the mud at least once.
it would be deserving of five stars had it not been publicized.
do me a favor if youre ever there and the papos roll up: yell «REDS! as loud as you can…
thx.