Rebel Race

Ok, let me ensure I clarify one thing as you read this review. Yes, I have done obstacle courses in the past. No, I don’t give a damn about neck candy. Finally, I have run/​slept in mud for weeks at a time as a part of my job. That said, let’s rock.
My friends and I, always looking for a way to punish our bodies and remind ourselves that we’re stupid and just getting older, found the Rebel Race and thought it might be a good «break in» for a Tough Mudder. Having done obstacles courses before through military training, we figured this should be a good fun run/​event. Boy were we wrong.
As they advertise, «Escape the Weakday…» only to run into a weak course.
Avoid this race like the plague as it is 1) poorly run, 2) the course sucks, and 3) it’s unsafe. If it’s the only game in town that you managed to get a ticket for, then go for the 5k. I shall elaborate below:
POORLY RUN: Why do I say it’s poorly run? Well, for starters, I personally was happy to discover that they didn’t require for me to sign a waiver when I showed up. Most of these courses have them there at the registration table and if you don’t walk up with one pre-​signed, they make you sign one on the spot. Nothing like absolving a third-​party from responsibility if you die, are maimed, or are otherwise injured. My lawyer would have licked his chops and probably prayed for an injury just to get after these guys. That’s just the beginning.
While on the the course, in the 90 degree weather, there were only two water stations. I usually have no issue with this as I don’t need water every five minutes, but having it available when you’re running the 15k route (really just three laps of the course), you’d want it more often in the afternoon sun. They had no food stations either and you were unable to get at your stuff as the only other way off of the course was to cross the finish line. So, after about 6 miles and several obstacles later, you bonk and have no way to replenish yourself. I heard there were bananas at the water stations, but the morning waves ate them all and nothing was left for those in the afternoon. Joy!
Also, there was a line for the mud slide into the poop pond (more on that later) that took almost 20 minutes because they ONLY HAD ONE. I don’t know how you sell waves of 100+ only to have one slide for the mass of ass that is coming through to play on your course. Poor form, RR. Oh, and for the fire, can you please not use Duraflame logs? You’re in horse country, not my suburban living room.
THE COURSE SUCKS: So, you’re pumped, you’ve paid your $ 100+, and you’re expecting a good course. Uh, no. Instead, you get a horse-​shit laden open field to run in. I mean, I thought the obstacles were supposed to be physical challenges, not trying to avoid slipping in road apples and smacking your head on the ground. With only one set of small obstacles, there was a significant backlog of people that ruined it for all.
Also, as some people inadvertently step in the scattered poop, it was awesome that the «Lunatic Lagoon» actually smelled like horse shit. Do the math — people step in it and then slide into the lake. Shoes get washed off. More people slide into it. Yum. I certainly enjoyed the potential for catching Mr. Ed’s revenge.
As for the water stations, someone needs to let the guys know that 1) you need more than just two in the heat (as mentioned earlier), 2) your employees shouldn’t be dipping cups and the hands holding them into the water after smoking cigarettes (I watched this and skipped the water), and 3) you should have some Gatorade or Sport Beans to give the folks some electrolytes.
IT’S UNSAFE: Yes, this course was an ambulance chaser’s wet dream. I came across many obstacles that were broken or loose, and nearly took a tumble on several occasions. Yes, I get it that you’re running about 2,000 people through this course and it will do some wear and tear on the equipment. I don’t care — you should have your safeties standing by to either 1) fix the problem or 2) tell people to go around. Two of the monkey bars were broken on my second and third laps, the hay bales were destroyed from people jumping down from the top and nearly caused tumbling, and 3) by the third lap, most obstacles didn’t even have safeties watching.
Also, the safeties don’t have radios so when I watched a girl collapse and complain about low-​blood sugar, the safeties at the obstacle just stared in fascination. They shrugged when asked about radios and said someone at the water station should have them so my group ran to the next water station only to discover… that’s right… THEY DIDN’T HAVE RADIOS EITHER!!! I was amazed. Glad I didn’t sign a waver so I could destroy you financially if I got hurt.
I hope she doesn’t have a lawyer or they got her a candy bar.
Either way, this race is an abortion in and of itself and should be avoided at all costs. Especially if you’re running the 15k.