Taco Bell

I don’t leave 5 stars. I just don’t. This location has its problems. Sometimes it’s difficult to find a parking spot. Often, it’s difficult to find a seat that is clean. The back of house staff at times struggles with your order however, the front of house staff is incredible. Taco Bell employs quite a few special needs workers to attend to their front of house needs. They may stand and talk to you during your entire meal and sweep under your feet 50 times while you are eating, but I find the interaction quite enjoyable. They also tend to gravitate right towards my bother, who is completely, socially awkward himself and avoids everybody when possible. And every time we eat there my brother talks for hours about the girl at Taco Bell. It’s a nice touch, nice touch.

Took half an hour for us to even get our order and there was no one there before us! The service wasn’t anything special either. Good food, bad service.

We had just finished eating Mad Mex, then stopped at the pet store, browsing for quite some time to stare at the adorable puppies who were in humanely sitting in their own filth, and driven from downtown Pittsburgh, and all that time that transpired was still shorter than how long we had waited to get our ONE starburst freeze drink. Luckily, the drink is pretty damn good.

Yes, I’m reviewing Taco Bell. Why? Because I have a problem. Taco Bell is my cure. If anything goes wrong in my life, if I’ve had a bad day, have cramps, got in a fight with my husband (that pretty much never happens, but if it did… he would probably bring me Taco Bell in lieu of an apology), in case of any crisis, Taco Bell just genuinely makes me feel better.
The manager at my Taco Bell back home knows my name, age, occupation, marital status, a few of my friends that I drag along with me occasionally, and what I like to order, but alas, my home taco bell was too far away and I needed a fix FAST. I had to go to Monroeville, which ALWAYS puts me out of sorts because of the heinous amount of traffic, but this was even worse because I was STARVING.
I had been on a fast since the night before for the purpose of a health screening, and it was now almost 5pm. I had spent the morning watching my coworkers stuff Panera bagels in their faces. Most had the decency to eat lunch out of the office. By that time, they knew I was becoming a desperate woman and there was no telling what I would do if they filled the office with food smells. After work, I was off to the doctor for a seemingly harmless biometric screening so I could get a discount on my insurance. However, upon my arrival, I discover that instead of a simple finger prick and getting my measurements and blood pressure taken, I’m about to become a human pin cushion. My worst nightmare. By this time, I was truly in bad shape.
My arm aching and my head spinning from having blood drawn, my stomach aching from lack of food, I wait at innumerable lights on the way to my goal. I swerve into the drive thru and am greeted warmly by the man in the speaker box. I give my order without hesitation… 3 fiery doritos locos tacos, 3 nachos and cheese. Fill up an entire bag of hot sauce packets. No sir, I don’t need a drink, I brought my own.
My order was filled at lightning speed and I zipped into the parking lot to scarf down my food. I generally don’t like eating in unless I’ve got somebody to keep me company. So I sat there in my car, reveling in the delight of tasting food again. Oh how delicious and spicy my tacos were, with their crunchy, dorito-​y delightfulness. My nachos were salty and the cheese piping-​hot. It was an unforgettable experience, eating that meal. If you are reading this and you have a similar addiction problem, then maybe together we could form a support group. Let me know.