Sams Holey Cow

We stopped here for breakfast Saturday morning. The hash browns tasted like they were cooked the day before and re-​heated. We each ordered sourdough toast and got two pieces of toast. This toast was so dry it was horrible. The mushroom omlet had about 3 mushrooms in it. The coffee wasn’t even good. We arrived around 9:15 and there were only 2 other people in the restaurant. We should have turned around then. This location has never done well for a resturant so we thought we’d give it a try. Breakfast for the two of us was $ 37.00 — way to high for this quality of food. Recommend you go to Cape Fear (which we ate at on Sunday AM) We won’t be back to to Sams Holy Cow.

What can I say? I’m a foodie, and this is one of the best breakfast places around. The menu is from the owner’s grandmother’s recipe book, the staff is friendly and chatty but not in your face. They have wi-​fi and you have to drive several miles to get to Garden Grill, which is really the only other restaurant worth eating breakfast at within a fifteen mile radius.

Just had to add an update regarding community night dinners.
I went to dinner here the night before New Year’s Eve and enjoyed what was possibly the best pasta dish I have ever eaten. Christmas lights were on, music playing, lots of kind and interesting people gathered to enjoy the community meal.
All around it was a fantastic night and a great way to wind down 2011. I’ll be looking forward to many more community night dinners in 2012!

Loved it 5 star * Everything Local grown home made
We had Local fresh caught Cod, in their own hand dipped batter and real potato fries,
homemade Slaw
I saw the 1 star rating… it must have been their 1 bad day

If I could give this place no stars, I would. This could be possibly the worst breakfast experience we’ve had in over ten years. We used to go to this previous restaurant here called Juennell if I remember the spelling correctly. The food was fresh, seasonal and the menu was varied with something for everyone.
The menu at Sam’s was typical diner fare. We knew we were in trouble when we entered with three people sitting and not a single staff member in view. I tried to find the bathroom and went back to a very disheveled game room and a bunch of people outside obviously not doing what they were hired to do.
Upon returning we heard our server say they were out of «gravy» for the biscuits and gravy. How hard is to make this? All you need is flour, butter, cream, seasoning and sausage. I mistakenly ordered the breakfast burrito and my wife ordered the french toast. What came out didn’t make me say «Holey Cow» but «Holey shit!»
My burrito was this sad thing sitting naked on the plate with no sour cream, no cilantro and no salsa. I politely asked my server for salsa and instead of just getting it for me, she decided to correct me and tell me it was already in the burrito. If I ask for something just give me what I want right? She reluctantly goes back to the cook and asks for more salsa and he also proceeds to tell her that it’s already inside the burrito and he used the last of it for my dish. Wtf… I bit into this mistake and the eggs were overcooks, it had no flavor and guess what? No salsa.
I decided to tear the entire thing open and it had two sad pieces of bell pepper and about four pieces of tomato. Pathetic looking. Lying will just make your establishment look bad. The table next to us asked for sauteed garlic on her whatever breakfast dish and after he griddled the garlic, he proceeded to make my wife’s french toast on the left over garlic because that’s all she tasted. I ate two bites of this horrible mess and my wife had to flag her down for the check which she replied «Yeah?»
She also had no problem taking personal phone calls on her cell phone in front of customers either. We paid with full plates in front of us and left this sad excuse for a restaurant. We heard the server trying to train this poor girl on her first day and their first exercise was going through the myriad of 86’s that she had to remember. We ended up eating at a great place in Guernville. Breakfast all in all for us was over fifty bucks combing both places bills. #HOLEYFAIL.
If you are going to run a successful restaurant, you need to make sure everything is fresh and not be out of a single item if you want people to return. My advice? Shutter the place before you get someone sick.
PS. We reported «Ginnys» review. It’s obvious this is the owner. How about you fix your shitty restaurant rather than plant reviews? It was an honest account and we got sick after eating this crap. You are correct. We had a bad day. Right after we ate at your horrible restaurant. Advice, put this place on craigslist and get the fuck out of the industry before you kill someone!

Nice little diner, open 8am-​3pm. Hubby and I came here a few times during our stay in the area.
It’s fairly small, about 7 tables and a counter to sit at, staff are really friendly and food pretty decent.
I wasn’t too keen on their fries as they were a little on the limp side and I like them nice and crispy but the Breakfasts are good though! We had the Cinnamon Roll French Toast (
) and Flapjacks (
). You can add breakfast meats and eggs to both dishes if you want, I liked that you could choose Sausage links or patty. We went for the patty and they are really filling just on their own.
Being in the middle of the country you also don’t get signal anywhere in the surrounding area unless you’re on AT&T so the fact that Sam’s has free WiFi is awesome, it’s probably the fastest WiFi in the whole town too.
They don’t take plastic (Credit /​Debit) so bring cash. Meals average around $ 10 a head.
If you’re staying in the area it’s definitely a place to try!

Fantastic hollandaise sauce and eggs benedict. The burgers are made with very good quality meat. Everyone raves about the cuban sandwich — I gotta try it next time.

I wish I could give these people more than five starts. I am a foodie, and quite Frankly there Cuban was the best sandwich I have ever had. My girlfriend and I spend a week up at the river and each time we ate here, the experience made us want to keep coming back. The waitress/​owner was very nice, and yes she touched my shoulder. In fact she sat down at my table, and actually engaged me in get this CONVERSATION. The shame!!! It was not overly friendly, and I don’t have a stick up my ass (even though I’m from SF) so maybe this is the difference between myself (finance professional) and other touch a phoebes, who reviewed the Holey Cow.
Anyway, the burger was amazing, fries excellent, Onion rings good. If your looking for a solid lunch experience, attention to detail, and you like hard working people who are trying to be friendly, please check out the Holey Cow!

Jamie, the owner, greeted us warmly. I had the patty melt and choice of side dish — chose green salad. It turned out to be the BEST salad I have had up at the Russian River — sweet orange cherry tomatoes from Jamie’s home garden, juicy red bell peppers, fresh greens, and salad dressing freshly prepared this morning with lots of herb flavor. So enjoyable and a generous portion. They have only been open for 12 weeks, and already have a fine reputation for Sunday Eggs Benedict with Hollandaise sauce made individually — EACH customer, so it comes out fluffy and lovely flavor. We will definitely be returning. THANKS, JAIMIE & STAFF.

This place is awesome! Not only friendly, but delicious, made from scratch food:) I ordered the Eggs Benedict and was savorying every bite!
People disregard the negative reviews, because this food is awesome, the place friendly, quaint and down to earth. Jamie and Sam have great personalities — just go with the flow. I guarantee you will not be disappointed. When was the last time you enjoyed your breakfast (or any meal) for an hour and a half. We did. we were th comfortable:)
Keep up the good work guys… see ‘ya soon!
Jim and Sue C.

I have been going to Holey Cow with my boys since it opened and I have nothing but good things to say about the owner and the food. I would recommend this place and I have recommended it to people I know.
The negative comments on here are obviously from people that would never survive living on the river and if they did, they would appreciate the fact that this place exists. You can go ahead and drive to the Occidental or Guerneville diners but when you get the bland food, horrible atmosphere and the extra gas money from the drive have fun.
I will continue to support this local business and I hope they have continued success.
Oh and bring cash. Big deal just know it and deal with it.

Excellent home made hollandaise sauce as well as sausage gravy. Friendly wait staff made it feel like a neighborhood place where we were treated like regulars – even though we were just passing through.

Stopped by on a whim for lunch while headed out to the coast. Overall, very very disappointed.
Lets see where to begin… hmm.
Pro’s:
Farm art on the walls was interesting, and fun to look at.
Location is convenient.
Good parking
Burger patty was good
Con’s:
CASH or CHECK ONLY…
Waitress (older, never got her name) had a permanent scowl on her face. Then when asked about the specials (which says in the menu «ask about our specials») she plainly says” oh ah, ya, well I don’t know anything about that”. Umm… OK?! how about «oh, thank you for asking, but we don’t have any specials today»;)
Fly’s…OMG… felt like I was in a barn. Its never fun to bat at a hoard of fly’s your entire meal… disgusting.
Mini frig on the counter with cans of soda? really? restaurants usually have fountain drinks, right?
Food was marginal at best. the standard $ 9 burger gets you a great patty, standard store bought bun and, count’em, 15 uninteresting fry’s… ugh. Side order of onion rings… hmmm… 5 onion rings in some off the shelf batter, under cooked. $ 7, BLT… well, at least the bacon was good, that’s all I can say about that.
Then a women swaggers over to our table, as she makes the rounds to the other three customers, and starts making wise cracks like we know her, until we finally ask «who are you», then she says I’m Jamie the owner… Hmmm, not sure were to start, except smart ass remarks about my family, from a perfect stranger, probably isn’t very professional, and along with the food and the fly’s… unbearable… sorry.
Conclusion: There are better diners only 10 minutes away in Guerneville and Occidental. I highly recommend trying them, instead of wasting your $ here

Ate here twice on a recent trip up north, lunch both times so can’t speak to the complaints about breakfast. The lunches – a reuben one day, fish and chips the next – were amazing. The corned beef on the reuben alone was worth the trip – the real thing, home made, thick cut, warmed and crisped – but the onion rings I would have traveled another hundred miles for: the perfect batter, the cleanest oil. And in point of fact I did travel quite a few extra miles to detour to Monte Rio for that second lunch. I was not disappointed. The fish and chips was just as good, with fresh rock cod and the same amazing batter, perfectly fried, plus a home made tartar sauce that was exactly right.
So why not two stars? First, the waitress everyone is commenting on was indeed overly enthusiastic: part owner, she is understandably desperate to build enough volume to make her business model work, namely chef-​quality food for $ 10 a plate. As a result she is trying too hard. I will also fault them for serving the food on plates that were not hot enough: fried food has to be served on hot ceramic if it is not to decay rapidly.
I will eat here again just as soon as I can, and certainly before this summer is out. I recommend you do, too – at least if what you care about most is really top notch cooking – because the smart money says this restaurant in this form isn’t likely to survive the thin winter months, much as I hope it will.

They’ve put more effort into designing their fancy ‘holey cow’ logo than into cooking anything special.
The food is very uninspired. I had the 2 eggs, 2 sausage links, and english muffin breakfast. At $ 9 it seemed a bit over-​priced (maybe $ 6.50 would have been fair). Holey Cow had no fresh preserves for the english muffin — just grape jelly in those single-​serve plastic mini tubs. Ick.
Waitress was pleasant, but perhaps a bit overly-​friendly — she touched/​rubbed my shoulder twice.

Excellent breakfast. I had the cinnamon roll bread french toast, and it changed my life for the better. The coffee was excellent too. Lots of locally produced food and great service. Great place to pop into if you’re in this neck of the woods.