Clifford’s Pub

If you are a recently laid off custodian with a plate in your head or you are a middle aged degenerate who sells individual cigarette’s to teenagers outside of bowling alley’s, Clifford’s is the place for you. This place is more depressing than a planned parenthood waiting room. I would say they need a suggestion box, but I’m afraid it would just fill up with suicide notes. Conveniently located next to a failing laundromat and the sleaziest hotel in town, Clifford’s boasts an impressive variety of cigarette flavored Schnapps. On the bright side the bartender is nice and they have pool tables. If you don’t expect much you will get exactly that.

I need to express right now that I experience depression frequently, so I have been here a few times, man.
I’m really sorry but I have a few issues. But here is the interesting part. Some ‘cons’ are actually ‘pros’ to really depressed homies who gave up on life for a bit. Sometimes you feel like a total piece of shit, and want to be in a place that matches your mood.
Cheap drinks tho. Some bartender hit on me in front of my girlfriend (she said «You like whiskey? Wanna be my boyfriend?») She was drinking on the job and really pissed off my girl, who is a lioness.
People come here wearing Hersey High School clothes and don’t get carded when they’re stoned and drove through a blizzard (my girl did that once when she was 18).
We had a rendezvous and stopped by for a quick beer around noon. No air conditioning in summertime, dim lights, whatever, you reap what you sow.
My girl asks «When’s the first Bulls preseason game, do you know?»
This 50 year old drunk dude at 12pm answered «Theh Chicaaaago Bills? They are 7 pm»
My girl goes «What? Today?» like he’s crazy.
Then drunk dude goes «Nah, it’s in October. Oh man, *insert name of another regular*, I’m gonna marry her. Because I heard she has health insurance!!!»
Like I said. Go somewhere bad if you want to feel better about feeling bad. Embrace your emotions, or whatever. Fuck it

Clifford’s is a neighborhood bar located off of 53 on Rand Road. If it is busy parking can be slim and be sure to not park in front of the cleaners or the liquor store. Signs state that parking spots are twenty minutes for customers only.
Clifford’s is a dimly lit bar with pool tables, televisions, and music by means of a hi tech juke box. They also have some bar arcade games.
I didn’t come during a night time hour but I would imagine the people that come here would be local. Someone just looking to drink a few beers, maybe shoot some pool, and shoot the shit with the regulars.

I go here for the pool tables. Nothing more, nothing less, and neither should you!

ok, this is a dive bar with cheap beer and a lot weird people but it’s not trying to be anything else and that is a good thing… play some pool or some darts stay out of trouble and have a good time…

My sister took me there for a laugh and I was not amused. It kind of smelled bad and the bartenders were not attentive. The crowd was hostile. The beer tasted funny. We only stayed to drink half a pitcher and we were out of there. Never again.