Mako’s Retired Surfers Bar & Grill

Yummy beer served in custom glasses. Great Irish feel and sports on tv. Great place to wait for the megabus.

I couldn’t decide whether to give this shithole 1 or 5 stars, so I split it down the middle. The first time here, during my first ever trip to Philly, it was a decent, respectable a spot. I actually have a stolen pint glass I stole from this place in the late 90’s. I usually drink water out of it. The second time here was before a Red Sox-​Phil game. The whole place smelled like shit/​vomit and had a bunch of sloppy ass drunk Red Sox fans in the place. I did not see any retired surfers, but plenty of retards.
I can’t believe there were actually a few girls in this place. There was a spot on the floor that obviously had a huge hole they simply covered with plywood that bowed whenever you walked over it, giving you the feeling you were about to fall through the floor.
The men’s room was something out of trainspoting. Someone even took the time to spray paint graffitti in the urinal right in the spot whhere your piss hits the urinal. There was also graffitti all over the walls, and the toilet had a piece of plywood over it, although from the nasty stains on the wood, it didn’t appear to deter someone from taking a shit on top of the wood! The bathroom also reeked of piss.
I guess if I wanted an instant divorce, I could have insisted on bringing my wife to this place…

It’s better than you think, albeit I miss the stripper pole. Went here on a Friday. Got absolutely trashed on PBR’s, Mickey’s, and Strawberry Shortcakes plus shots… and had an awesome time on the cheap courtesy of the friendly bartenders. I must take away a star for the fact the jukebox upstairs lacked Led Zeppelin, though.

I don’t hang around South Street very often, but when I do, you will usually find me at Mako’s. I’m sitting in front of a video-​crack machine with a can of PBR in hand, like a classy lady that I am.
Mako’s offers the Philly special for $ 5: PBR or High Life accompanied by a shot of choice — Jäger, Cuervo, Jim, Jack, or Stoli. I’m a tequila girl. I chase it with a shot of their bloody mary mix. Again, class to the max.
The bar looks run-​down, bathrooms are a bit scary, and clientele is a bit rough around the edges. However, if you’re looking for a place to let it all hang out and enjoy the city’s cheapiest drinks, look no further than this little dive.

Mako’s you are my favorite dive in Philly.
I’ve been here countless times. I’ve played pool upstairs. I’ve peered at your third floor where you have a bunch of beds. I’ve sat downstairs and just drank inexpensive beer. I’ve used your jukebox.
I don’t visit you enough.
I know that each time I come here, I have a story afterwards. I always seem to meet interesting people when I visit and they of course are part of the story.
You are kind of dirty. Your bathrooms are nasty. When I’m here, I drink PBR.
Let’s just keep this our little secret.

THIS PLACE IS AWESOME MAYHEM.
Yes, the bathrooms smell.
Yes, PBR and Millers are on deck.
Yes, there will be people with tattoos smoking cigarettes.
Did you expect there to be dubstep alongside metal alongside Ke$ha alongside Kings of Leon? (Their jukebox fucking KILLS)
There are many dive bars, but this one is the best I’ve found in Philly so far. It warms my heart with how alcoholic the bartenders are. Also, I don’t know if I’ve seen so many gauges in my life, but alas, this is South Street for you.
If you wanna get bombed in a rush and you just got payday (and you like a bartender who’s not afraid to take a shot), you need this in your life.

I’ve been going to Mako’s for years. Love the place-​if you are on a budget this is the place to go to drink. They now have $ 1 bottle and cans, and $ 5 for a beer and a shot.
The reason I didn’t give this place 5 stars is that it’s changed over the past couple years… and while change is good, I miss what Mako’s used to be. Maybe they are trying to clean up their image a bit? This place used to be what I would consider a metal bar-​full of metal heads with metal playing at all times. (Note: i’m not much of a metal head, but a lot of my friends are, which is how I was introduced to this place to begin with, but I do like some of it). Now, they removed a lot of the usual music from the jukebox, and a whole different crowd hangs out there. More, how should i put it, «mainstreamish?» Which is ok, but I miss my freaky metalheads… It’s also a LOT more crowded than it used to be.
Now they serve food, but i’ve never tried it as it never looked good to me (nor did the people cooking it). But Lorenzo’s is next door! Just don’t try to bring it into the bar with you…
Yes, the bathrooms are gross. There is never any soap or paper towels. The guy’s bathroom has no door. But sometimes you have to take the good with the bad.
Overall, a great place to be. But if you’re looking for the OLD mako’s, you’ll be dissappointed.

Dude, what’s up with the negative reviews?! Evidently this is a polarizing bar: you either love it or hate it. I guess it depends on who you are and what you think a bar should be. Either way, it’s a memorable spot.
Some things of note:
The beer selection– Yeah, they have dollar PBRs and High Lifes, but they also have Chimay. And they show some local love with PBC and Yards.
The patio– Spring isn’t even here and I’m starting to get excited about sitting out on the corner watching South Street.
The jukebox– Still the best in the city.
The kitchen– They’re now serving food. I haven’t tried everything on the menu, but the nachos are amazing.

I remember coming here back in the day (10 yrs ago) when I lived in the area. Holy hell those margarita pitchers have gotten me drunk on several occasions. I ended up getting my belly button pierced on South St since I had been drinking here. Ah the memories. They had peanuts for free where you could fill your basket as much as you wanted from this barrel they had. Drinking here & then going to Lorenzo’s for pizza was awesome.

I remember going into the bathroom here once and being shoulder to shoulder with this gigantic guy who looked like Ceelo Green on roids. But he wasn’t taking a piss. He was berating this filthy hobo with dreads about drug money he owed him. In the middle of his rant, he gets a phone call and starts screaming into the receiver, «MAURICE…MAURICE I’LL CALL YOU BACK CAUSE I NEED ANOTHER SHIPMENT OF THAT SHIT CAUSE IT’S DRIVING THE STREETS WILD!» Not for a moment was I pee shy.
The moral of the story is that this is the kind of shit that goes down in Makos. Some people, such as I, have a tolerance for this type of behavior sometimes. Other times, not so much. Depends on the night and what I’m drinking.
I almost gave this place one star for the presence of that annoying guy in the viking helmet. He was funny back when I was in high school but his gimmick is really stale. He needs to crawl back in the sewer for a few months and come back fresh.

Okay, first off ignore the «RETIRED SURFERS» portion of the posted name. While you’re at it, ignore the «& GRILL» portion too.
Any relevance it ever had to surfing is long gone. Aside, of course, from the huge fiberglass shark hanging over the bar (the enemy of surfing) and the random surfboard on the wall encased in tar and nicotine from days of old. It’s kitchen reopened a while back, but I wouldn’t order anything but fries there. As other reviewers have already attested to, yes it’s cheap!
Most of the staff is awesome. Waitresses, bouncers, bar backs, are all friendly. Additionally, for being a place whose biggest sellers are PBR and High Life they do have some decent beers in their coolers. Two big screens are great for watching football on Sundays. The whole first floor is all sliding glass doors. I enjoy it because you get a view of the entire corner from in the bar. You never know who is going to pop in. Especially in the summer, with the hoardes of humanity roving the sidewalks of South Street. It also provides a great source of air and breeze and easy access in and out to the sidewalk seating area (also great fun).
They have a second floor too. Pool tables. Since they upgraded the jukeboxes, they relegated a lot of the metal to the upstairs jukebox. No more Slayer on the first floor? WTF?
It’s not for everyone. I am aware of this. However, to those who are offended or shocked by Makos I would simply say this is confirmation that you don’t belong there. Not a knock, just a truth. But hey, some people just hear about the specials and don’t know any better… I can dig that. Others seek the economic benefits of $ 1 beers but then disapprove of the bar & its clientele. Tsk, tsk. Can’t have it both ways!
Are there freaks here? YES! Is it grimy? YES! I’ve always been comfortable here and I’ve never had any problems with anyone, in fact, most people tend to be very sociable and friendly.
To the curious but nervous, I’d say: Go early for some daytime action, knock back a six then get back to me.
Keeping you drinking on a budget. Viva Makos!

I truly can’t stand this place.
Going to bars where people are openly doing or selling drugs is not my cup of tea. Way too many fights. Way too much drama,
No fun. I’m headed back to the land of happy cocktails just down the street

My friends and I went tonight and I have been before but have never had an experience quite like this. First my roommate (who is 28 and looks older than that) was stopped by the bouncer and told he had a «fake ID» because there was a hologram on his face (his ID is from NJ). There was not a hologram on his face. Then as my roommate and I were arguing with the bouncer my other 2 friends went in and this guy not wearing a Makos shirt asked for their ID and told them there was a $ 5 cover (there wasn’t, and he didn’t say it to anybody but my friends). The bouncer finally decided to let my roommate in.
We were drinking for a while and 2 of my friends wanted to smoke so we went outside. My one friend flicked his cigarette and almost hit someone and apologized. I got up to go to the bathroom a while alter and the same guy who tried to tell my friends to pay $ 5 came over and pushed me in the chest and told me that I flicked my cigarette at someone. I told him I don’t smoke and I don’t know what he was talking about but he kept going at me and I kept telling him I don’t smoke so why was he going off at me and I got by him and walked away. I came back down and the bouncer and another guy came over and said the manager said we had to leave. I asked them why and they woudln’t give me an answer. Then the douchebag who pushed me came over and started yelling at me and the bouncer had to hold him back. NEVER GOING THERE AGAIN DON’T GO THERE.

Ok so this place is definitely not a class act establishment, the bathrooms are disgusting, the clientele seems to be the type that shower on a bi-​weekly basis, and the décor leaves much to be desired, but what do you really expect from a place that offers $ 0.49 cans of PBR?
I do find the reviews to be quite entertaining, and if you go there sober you’ll find the entire atmosphere to be humorous, but if you’re looking for a way to start your night, need a good laugh, and are watching your wallet, this is the place to be. The last time I was there taking $ 0.99 shots of Montezuma Tequila, a man warned me that too many shots would cause me to do irrational things, he proceeded to tell me that the last time he drank too much of the fine Mexican liquor, he killed someone (still decided whether he was joking or not)…and Flava’ Flave is a regular, how could you not love it?

Trashy. Shady. Drugs ALL OVER. A Good place to get into a fight and maybe get stabbed
Just an awful place to be. Anyone who says otherwise is too up their own back side to see what’s going on around them. 49 cents is too high a price to pay to get aids

$.49. That is probably all that is needed to be said. I am giving this place a three because it fluctuates. Catch a good night or afternoon and its a five. It can also be one of the worst places on earth. Depends whats on South Street that night.
This is my spot before shows at the TLA. Here is a tip for you: the tour buses (for the bands that play at the TLA) park on 3^rd Street across the street from this bar. You can totally become an obsessive fan and drink really cheap beer at the same time. Kills two birds with one stone.

This place deserves another star, and some nights it definitely rates at 5 depending on the vibe and bartender (Tina + Kat!).
So, lets start with $ 0.49 cans of PBR and bottles of high life– EVERY NIGHT until 11pm. After 11, they are $ 0.99 and that’s still better then everywhere in the city. Want to get classy? Ask Tina (mon/​tues) or Kat (weekends) for a poormosa and you’ll get your beer with some OJ in it.
They also brought their grill back to life and they are serving up your general bar fare (wings, fries, burgers) and they also have fresh seafood — I can speak for the white wine mussels and crabby cheese fries and both delivered in their own way.
So Makos, keep doing what you do well and i’ll be there.

On any given day, until 11 post meridiem, you and your friends can take your laundry quarters and spend them at Mako’s, where 49 cents gets you a bottle of Miller High Life (the beer with the best name and motto). In fact, you’re better off bringing coins than you are bills: 4 quarters to play on one of the two pool tables, and 4 quarters for 2 songs off the iPhone-​looking jukebox.
On the downside, the women’s bathroom is diminutive and deplorable; its level of squalor is repugnant. And what’s worse, there’s no hand soap to wash the grime off your previously less-​germed mitts. They’ve got food to offer, but there’s no menu, just ask the bartender who’ll rattle off the «specials.»
As for the scene, expect skaters and smokers. I’ve yet to meet a retired surfer.

The best bar in Philadelphia. The definition of dive bar. If dive bar isn’t your thing, then you’re not going to like this place. On Thursday night, you can’t beat the $ 1.50 PBR Pounders. The $ 5 Mako’s special is phenomenal. You also can’t beat the 24 oz Bud Ice cans. What’s best about his place is that it’s chill and not pretentious. The homeless guy with a plastic vikings hat is a staple at this fine establishment. If you know anything about one of the best bars in New Orleans «Ms.Mae’s Club», this is the closest thing you can get to Ms. Mae’s. Very eclectic mix of people ranging from bikers, suits, and weird people. And the bartenders are pretty hot.
If you’re hungry, you’re RIGHT NEXT to Lorenzo’s pizza.

You know it’s going to be bad when 7 people give it a grand total of 7 stars. But I’ll warn you further. This is by far the shadiest bar that exists in Philadelphia (at least for bars on streets that you’re actually going to walk down). I know people who have almost been stabbed here!
The drink specials may look appealing, and Norman may appear to be an interesting character for the first 10 minutes. but be prepared to walk into a whole new dimension of trashiness if you walk in here.