Amazons Olympia Garden

Restrained craziness is my special relationship to this world. Or perhaps it’s my role to fill.
I went to the AOG after work the other night around 1:15.
I went with a self-​described (and flaming homosexual) «dead prostitute» who is actually a very attractive playwright in his mid 30s. I also went with my single serving and completely wholesome friend Tom from Minneapolis and an incredibly over the top feminist Jewish actress who acts and sings at all times at a very high volume. Like, AT. ALL. TIMES.
So I get a dance. The exact woman I don’t want a dance from is always the one that approaches me. And the ones I want a dance from (read: badunkadunk) avoid me. Such is my role in life. Same story here.
Then girl number two approaches and tells me about her junk.
«It’s perfection in a tiny bikini.»
«Show me.»
«This is not Le girls.»
«Show me.»
She walks away.
I watch.
She looks over her shoulder. My dearth of charm aside, she walks back over, straddles me, shows me.
I rejoice in my carnal victory. It looked just like those I’ve seen on National Geographic.
So Actress gets a dance. It’s 1:55 AM and the place is closing down. However, her wrap is just opening for business. Not The Business. But the kind of window shopping only found in Amsterdam. She’s not wearing anything under the wrap except her birthday suit. Which is normally something at which I’d gawk. Brazenly. But there’s more. She was… how do I say this??? It was the wrong time of the month for her to be slamming her stuff into the stripper’s face, who I might add, was LOVING it…
Restrained craziness.

3 stars but only because it was a Wednesday night… I get the feeling such an establishment bumps a little harder (pun intended) on the weekends.
Pretty empty and thanks to Mike, the owner, free drinks came our way. Funny how it’s always the fully clothed cocktail waitress that you want to see naked. Of the 10 girls there, I’d put 70% of them on the 6 out of 10 scale… that might be generous. Lucky for me, I get to come home to ‘Miss Unilocal Phoenix’ and she’s a 12 out of 10 every day of the week!
A major plus assuming I had not been so full from Thomas’s Elite Event at Fez is that Amazon serves food until 2am, and had the Utah Jazz/​LA Laker game playing on the big screens… see Gabi, I really watched the game the whole time!